How do you all cope?

[Stefka]

My DS is almost 9 weeks old and is a pretty good sleeper. He will generally do around about a six hour stretch at night. The thing I am finding hard is that the stretch is often from about 2 am and from 6pm till 2am he needs constant attention. So from around 6 he is either feeding, having a bath or nappy change or just crying and by midnight I am so desperate for sleep!

I know that there probably isn't much I can do about this and that it could be a lot worse but how the hell do you all cope with the lack of sleep?

Sleep during the day its vital!!! Also, if you have someone who can share the burden with you it helps. My DH used to let me lie in on a Saturday to help me catch up. It is only a phase and it will pass. Good luck

Know what you mean, i'm exhausted most of the time as i'm kept up by dd2 most of the night and then no chance to catch up in the day coz of dd1 up and about and they never sleep at the same time during the day.
I've survived on 5 and a half hours for last week but it's not good, just have to get by some how and try to sleep whenever you can, the washing can wait!

During the day he naps a couple of times - usually for about an hour and a half to two hours.

I think it is not so much the lack of sleep as the period before hand which feels so exhausting. I am not very well right now which is making things feel harder. Also DH snores so he keeps me awake during those precious hours!

Oh no, poor you Stefka, i hope you get better soon, it's so hard to look after a baby when you need looking after yourself - i was ill for a while too and ended up fainting in the bathroom and getting a big fat bruise on my cheek, not a good look!!
Things will change and you'll get better, you've just got to keep your head above water and really try to sleep when the baby sleeps in the day and DH isn't there.
For me the lack of sleep has been like torture and everything starts to fall apart, i get grumpy, teary, etc so sleep is the most important thing and it's such a basic requirement.
Look after yourself please as you are the one holding your family together - good luck. xx

oh dh snoring gets me! i used to lie awake after having fed the baby in the night fantacising about suffocating him with a pillow.

i find a sharp kick makes him turn over and quiet down, plus i've made him start wearing those nasal strips which seem to help.

stefka, you are really going through the mill at the moment. please talk to your dh about how hard you are finding things.

He slept on the sofa bed in the other room last night so at least I didn't have to listen to his bear snores last night!

I think I need to relax a bit about the house etc and try to get a nap during the day. I find it hard to relax though. I know this time will pass but boy is it hard!

Your baby will get more fun too stefka. at 2 months they are still pretty boring. by 4 months they are much less fragile so you can just chuck them under your arm and get on with stuff and they are so much more responsive.

I can't wait for all that! He's very sweet but super demanding right now. If he is awake he wants someone to be with him at all times or he cries. When I am on my own all day I just can't do it otherwise I would never eat or pee!

My DS was 7 weeks this time last year and was a very needy baby. I don't remember much about lasy xmas tbh. DS would also be a bugger to go back to sleep in the night so to get 6 hours it great. What I wouldn't have done for 6 hours sleep a night last xmas.

Now he sleeps 14hours a night so just chant the matnra, It's a phase and it will pass

Can you get a relative or friend to take him for a few hours so you have some time to yourself? Makes them more lovable when they get back!

Would heartily recommend co-sleeping if nobody has mentioned it already.

Stefka - don't want to be unhelpful but i didnt know what not coping was till my second DC arrived....
It'll get better and you'll forget how hard the first weeks and months were and then because you've forgotton you'll get preg again and........

Stefka just sending you added support. Our dd was similar until around 12 weeks old. She is now 4 mths old. The thing I found hardest was the loss of our evenings. Time that used to be for relaxing and/or catching up on things completely lost! Like someone else said on the thread, even though it is hard to believe, in a few weeks your ds is likely to be a lot easier and more alert.

Do what you can to get through one evening at a time. We went through phases of trying different things, e.g sometimes I would b/f her a lot, other times I couldn't face it and had a break for an hour and would send dh up with a bottle of ebm and a dummy. Some nights we kept her downstairs and I would watch tv/come on here etc. Other nights we would put her in her cot and be up and down all evening to re-settle her. She has recently started to settle more easily. We noticed a gradual change, one night I was delighted to only spend 1 hour going up and down to her! Some nights now we can put her down at 7.30 (admittedly with her dummy) and not hear a murmur until we wake her for a dreamfeed.

Sympathies!! DD has been a velcro baby all day today, but normally is hard work from about 6pm til 2.30am. Then she will finally go down and wake 3 hours later for a feed, go down again and then wake another 3 hours later. It's exhausting as she takes about 20 mins to feed, then we have to keep her semi-upright for another 10-15 mins due to reflux. If we didn't do that, she'll be awake screaming within a few minutes of putting her down - false economy!

6 hours straight would be FAB, but mostly it's 3 hours for me, twice nightly, with no chance to catch up during the day.

Good luck!

Hang in there Stefka. Relax about the housework and kick DH out of the bed if he's keeping you awake. Get the incentives right and he will WANT to sleep on the sofabed - i.e. wake him up accidentally, or on purpose to help.

I got snore spray for DH so I can get some sleep - he keeps me more awake than the baby does!

I am feeling better at the moment as DH is off so I have help in the day time. It makes a big difference and I feel rested

Hope you're doing OK, stefka. How's it going?

Oh crossed posts Stefka, DD is exactly the same, albeit she starts a bit later than yours but finishes a bit later too! (we're on 8pm-3am just now...). Reading the replies here with interest!

i felt exactly the same way at 9 weeks (DS now 15 weeks) then suddenly one night he slept for 6 hours straight. i could not believe it. since then he has become more reliable for the 6 hours straight (usually from 7pm so i go to bed at 8:30 and watch tv) and now he is moving towards quite a few 8 hour stretched that i give a dreamfeed at the end of when he sarts to stir so we get a few more hours sleep.

i found what worked well when we were getting longer sleeps was the rule of 3. if he stired during the night i did shush/pat. did this for three times after that got him up for a feed (still had bad reflux at that time) and then back to bed. took him a couple of weeks to learn to sleep the six hours and now we are getting really good.

hang in you will get their. forgot to mention get a routine going and get them well fed during the day with lots of outside walks.

Hey Caz - oddly DS has just moved from 8-3 too - he just won't sleep before 2am and it usually takes me till 3 to get him to sleep.

What is shush/pat?

dunno but if it works i'd like to know!

we've just had the most nightmare DAY - dreading the night, exhausted have had NO sleep to "bank" for tonight...

Hey Caz - what time are you putting your LO to bed? We were keeping our DS up too late which was part of the problem. Started to put him down at seven now and it is so much better. It think he was over tired.