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Sleep

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Original poster

How to put 6 week old "down to sleep"?

22 replies

UKmumtobe · 29/12/2021 11:59

Hello,

When I ask for advice about getting my 6 week old to sleep for naps, I keep getting the same phrase - "put baby down to sleep". What does this even mean!?

Do the majority of mum's just put their baby down in the cot/Moses and that's it? My baby would just lie there forever until he cries then it's game over. He doesn't get sleepy and won't drift off. I try different wake times and just can't work it out.

I know he's young but it just seems like I've got a baby who doesn't ever want to sleep? And the only way to get him to sleep is a LOT of work - either walking with car seat on pram chassis (hates bassinet), in a carrier on me walking, or in the car. Or it has to be feeding to sleep which doesn't always work and mainly only works at night. I just can't get baby to sleep at home and it's really stressful as I have a toddler to contend with.

I don't want to leave the house multiple times a day with 2 children to organise as well as myself. If I don't shower v. Early in the morning before they're awake I won't get to shower for the rest of the day as toddler doesn't nap anymore and baby doesn't sleep in cot.

Bedtime for toddler is the worst as I'm alone with no help and baby is guaranteed to be crying at this time wanting a cluster feed or overtired and I can't give toddler any attention like I used to. And I hate leaving baby to cry for 15 mins in his cot whilst I'm sorting toddler out for bed.

Is there anyone who has a similar type of baby to me or am I unlucky? :( Any tips for this age?

When I ask friends they seem stumped and say "sorry hunny I don't know what to suggest" or "you've got a difficult one" which really brings me down as I feel so alone and a failure.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gunnersgold · 29/12/2021 12:06

I use to use music so laid them down and put music on and left them but I did it from north so they learnt to self soothe .

TheWayTheLightFalls · 29/12/2021 12:09

How does he fall asleep now? On you, while feeding, in a sling, in a car seat?

CoffeeAndCaramel · 29/12/2021 12:13

My youngest was like this and it's hard! Have you got a Ewan the dream sheep? This really helped him and by about 10 weeks he would fall asleep alone x

gogohm · 29/12/2021 12:16

I just fed them and put them down asleep this generally lasted 5 mins so they went into the front carrier

SheWoreYellow · 29/12/2021 12:19

I had to buy a double buggy to get them both to sleep after lunch. That was when they were a bit older though.
I think, unless you’re willing to let them cry, most people have to help them to sleep. Mine fed to sleep mostly, but also:

Use a sling
Nap in the car/buggy
Walk up and down with them in my arms.

Tbh you probably want to leave the house once or twice a day with the toddler.

JustWonderingIfYou · 29/12/2021 12:19

I wouldn't leave a newborn crying for 15 minutes! Get a sling or take them into the toddler room with you.
Have you tried white noise and rocking? I didn't put mine "down" until outside 4th trimester. I don't really know anyone who did formal naps at that age.

mintbiscuit · 29/12/2021 12:24

Putting down a 6 week old down to sleep is bollocks. It doesn’t happen like that. (Well maybe for a few lucky parents). If baby won’t sleep In crib on own then use carrier/pram/car or any other way that works. Also, 6-8 weeks is a development phase so cranky non sleeping babies who want to feed all the time is fairly typical.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/12/2021 12:28

I used to swaddle mine then wedge them into their bouncer chair. Gentle bouncing sort of forced them to go to sleep - like they couldn't fight against it. This was usually around 30-45 mins after they last woke.

LakeShoreD · 29/12/2021 12:45

Bouncy chair with dummy always worked for mine. I actually had very good overnight sleepers but they still couldn’t be ‘put down for a nap’ until they were over 6 months!

Original poster

UKmumtobe · 29/12/2021 12:47

Thanks everyone.

I had Ewan dream sheep with my first but through it away as it didn't work for her... She needed hardcore continuous white noise.

I use a white noise app for baby and I swaddle if I was attempting a cot nap, but to be honest I've given up as it just ends in screaming and I don't have the time to be trying to get him to sleep, rocking, walking up and down etc with a toddler roaming around freely downstairs. Toddler also thinks it's funny to scream to wake baby up if she's around when I'm trying to settle him.

Only way baby will sleep is if I am out of the house moving. I agree I need to leave the house with a toddler but when the weather is wet and cold you don't want to have to leave in the morning, then again at lunchtime, then again in the late afternoon... The amount of organisation that requires is so time consuming and toddler just cries for snacks and doesn't want to be strapped in the pram. I have a double buggy but baby cries in the bassinet so ends up in the carrier on me. It's just a bit depressing knowing it's my only option and I'm obviously tired from interrupted sleep in the night as well.

Maybe I'm just unlucky that I have friends whose baby's slept in their cots but they seem puzzled that I can't get my baby to sleep... I also get the odd comment from family saying I should put him down as he needs to learn to be in his cot etc etc.. but I find it cruel as it's basically them saying just leave him to cry!

I do know Baby is still young but I feel very alone trying to care for him and it's so much pressure and responsibility on one person to get him to sleep all day and of course feed (I EBF). Husband doesn't work from home so never gets home until 8pmish.

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 29/12/2021 12:48

Babies excel at making you feel like a failure, but YOU’RE NOT.
I used to have mine in a sling to put my toddler to bed.
Hang in there, it does get better

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/12/2021 12:48

If the baby sleeps best moving in their stroller then clip them into that in the lounge. Cartoon on for the toddler, and you stand rocking the baby in the pushchair facing away from the telly.

AliceW89 · 29/12/2021 12:55

Ds was exactly like this. Would occasionally breastfeed to sleep, but generally I was outside multiple times a day, for hours at a time, with him in the sling (he also hated the pram). I think people think you are exaggerating as I don’t think it’s common to have such a bad napper (although ‘drowsy but awake’ is generally bollocks in newborns, IMO). I was walking circa 20k steps every day and it was pretty broken.

Im guessing yours won’t sleep in the sling either inside or whilst standing still outside? Im guessing not. Mine had to be moving, outside at pace. I wouldn’t have been able to supervise a toddler in a play area, for example.

We’ve thought about this and the only way we’d have a second is by putting DS in childcare for at least 3 days per week (DH works 80% and I see MIL weekly), in case we are blessed with another sleep fighter. I’m sorry if that’s not much help - we literally did everything (I spent hours on mumsnet) and no amount of swaddling/white noise/sshh ing/blackout blinds/bouncing/dream sheep’s made any difference. He was that way until about 5 months, if I’m honest…

AliceW89 · 29/12/2021 12:56

I should say he’s 19 months now and a very good sleeper, so it’s not a forever thing. Some kids are just rubbish at being ‘sleepy’ newborns.

Original poster

UKmumtobe · 29/12/2021 13:13

@AliceW89

Alice yes to everything. So you understand what I'm talking about.

My first was the same so I've been unlucky to be given two sleep fighters...with DD1 I struggled hugely and had PND mainly due to sleep deprivation and I just don't want it to happen again! I would walk 25k steps a day to get her to sleep. I lost a lot of weight and was just so so miserable. Obviously I won't be pounding the pavement this time round as I just can't with a livewire toddler in tow but basically that's what I'm going to have to do if I want him to sleep. Toddler doesn't go to preschool because of covid risks but if she did it would obviously be helpful...

OP posts:

Original poster

UKmumtobe · 29/12/2021 13:18

Baby used to sleep in sling inside but no longer accepts it and rocking him in pram inside doesn't work it's like he knows he's inside and I'm tricking him.

If I rock or walk outside then bring him inside to continue sleeping its highly likely he will wake up quickly due to change in temp/noise/not moving.

I've been told hes like this because it's what I've taught him, but he has never napped in his bed!

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/12/2021 14:53

Do you have an enclosed garden or yard, if so, you could wrap him up and push him outside in that then once asleep leave him outside the back door in his pram.

Original poster

UKmumtobe · 29/12/2021 18:57

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz yes I could try this I haven't left him outside yet. could be super organised and get him all dressed and wrapped up next time I try it. Thanks

Had a v. unsuccessful day of naps today which always puts such a downer on things. Mums who have baby's who sleep just don't know how lucky they are!

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 29/12/2021 19:44

I have three and the only one I could put down to go to sleep was DS2. He is by far my worst sleeper and still doesn't sleep through at over 3yo btw! So it's no magic feat if you can do it. I think he was fine with being put down because he was in special care when he was tiny.

At that age most babies go to sleep when being held, fed, cuddled, rocked or pushed around in a pram. Then if you're lucky you can transfer them to another surface to sleep. Or you can just hold them. It's nice, it's natural, they're only little for a short time.

BertieBotts · 29/12/2021 19:45

You haven't taught him bad habits, he's just being a baby. It's normal.

1ofthosedayz · 29/12/2021 21:49

Let go of the books on how babies need to nap, how you're stopping their brain development if they don't sleep etc etc. Definitely let go of the idea that you have caused this... sound like you have a typical baby to me! All this advice is for when you have one baby and all the time in the world.

Now you have two and you're outnumbered. And it's tough. This is a tough time that you will come out of the other side and will survive. Your babies will be fine and won't know any different.

When I was at your stage, in the end I had to ask my dad to pop over and help do bed times etc because it's almost impossible on your own. Ask for help if you can. In the grand scheme of things you're only asking for 8 weeks or so, it's not that long in a life time.

If you decide to go for three, you'll give up all hope of any semblance of perfect baby sleep training etc and just do the best job you can with the resources you've got. You'll all be fine.

1ofthosedayz · 29/12/2021 21:52

Oh also, try a sleepyhead for day napping

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