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2 years nearly. I can't cope amymore

9 replies

WerdyBear · 18/12/2021 00:06

My child is nearly 2 and has slept through maybe twice in all this time. I cant do this anymore.

Currently he wont sleep without his face on top of mine. He has been screaming for 4 hours because I have refused to do it. He doesnt give in!!!!! I've tried everything. I even put him in a bed and took down his cot - the first 2 nights he woke twice only but now its back to normal.

Family have him during the day as I work and they cant get him asleep without a fight - he fights naps despite being absolutely exhausted he will scream and fight it tooth and nail. They tell me he has 1-2 hours a day. He could be having none, i don't know they will just lie.

I put him down for bed at night without a fight. This is the easy part. He wakes an hour or 2 later screaming murder. He will stay in his bed and go back asleep if I sacrifice my face. He falls asleep, I leave and 20 minutes later, maximum, he is screaming again. This goes on and on and on until 6am when its time to get out bed and start a day mostly on sofa because the whole house is exhausted, yet again.

Some nights i put him in my bed - he will sleep whilst holding my face but wakes at least twice screaming murder, hitting me, scratching my face, gouging my eyes, pulling my hair etc.

I love my child, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me but at night, i hate him. I have suicidal thoughts - its been 2 years of this ....!!!!!!! Its never ending. I cant cope anymore. I work full time and im hanging on by a thread. Health visitors are a waste of time, been asking for help since he was a week old and in the rare occasion they do return my call, I am told the same thing 'some babies just dont sleep. Let him cry it out' let me tell you, he wont cry it out he will just cry and scream and hurt himself. Its unsafe and of no help.

Im at the end of the line. I dont think anyone can help, ive tried everything there is. I just dont know what to do anymore and see no end. I am so unhappy.

OP posts:
RodJaneFreddy · 18/12/2021 10:30

Is he warm enough, maybe he’s wet and is why he’s waking, room too dark or too light.
Sadly there’s no magic wand just perseverance. When he wakes, keep room dark (I tried a lamp but ended up with hallway light on and my dcs door open a little so they could see me next to them), rub his back or tummy, ssshhhhh ing but no other words. It takes a good few days for them to learn it’s not time to wake up and scream and cry!!! But it might work

physicskate · 19/12/2021 21:24

Does he have a lovey? Or special teddy? He's obviously seeking comfort (and your face seems to do the trick?). I'm sure you've tried this, so sorry if it sounds condescending...

Sunshinegirl82 · 19/12/2021 21:31

It's so tough when you have bad sleepers (I have two so can empathise!)

What happens if you start off the night in your bed? Put him to sleep there, come down for a few hours then go back in with him for the night? I do this with my youngest or I get no sleep.

The wake ups sound like night terrors in a way, he sounds like he's frightened? Have you spoken to your GP?

Sunshinegirl82 · 19/12/2021 21:33

www.nhs.uk/conditions/night-terrors/

notanotherschoolrun · 19/12/2021 21:38

Melatonin vitamins!

littlebilliie · 19/12/2021 22:41

My DS started with night terrors at age 5 it was horrendous and scary but seemly a normal part of brain development. You have my every sympathy.

Lavender and a banana early evening. Mine both thrived on routine but every child is different

Alayalaya · 19/12/2021 22:50

My son was never interested in sleeping. At two he stopped having a nap and that helped with being tired at night. He had to be touching me a certain way or he wouldn’t sleep. I don’t think it helps to deny your child what he feels he needs for comfort. However he is now being assessed for autism which could cause these difficulties. Health visitors are not doctors, I would recommend speaking to a medical professional such as a GP.

somehowsunshine · 19/12/2021 22:51

Didn't want to read and run but I've been where you are with my second child. I tried everything and got tons of advice from people. At the end of the day, nothing really made a difference, and he eventually grew out of it around 2 years old. I felt utterly exhausted and the tiredness led me to have physical pain in my body and I started antidepressants as just so hard to be sleep deprived for that long, and I am ashamed to say it but I started resenting my little child. Now he is 6 and sleeps throughout the night like a log. He sleeps as soon as his head hits the pillow at 7:30 so hopefully your little one will grow out of this too.
It's so unhelpful and annoying to hear people say they are tired with their 3 month old when you've been coping on broken sleep for 2 years!!
Once my child was able to speak, I now believe that he suffered from sleep terrors. He is a very imaginative and intelligent little boy who still has very powerful dreams but we are able to help him now he can discuss with us.
Stick with it. You're doing an amazing job!

Nefelibata86 · 20/12/2021 17:25

Only thing i can add is if you can chart when he wakes up try and do ssshs and pats before he wakes to try and get him to link cycles

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