Toddler twins just want to play all night!

[AugustSeptemberOctober]

Please someone help! My twins are 22 months old, and have been amazing sleepers for the last year or so, getting a solid 12 hours each night. A couple of weeks ago this all changed, and now they tend to wake up between midnight and 1am for the day! Nothing I do will settle them back to sleep. They don't want comfort - I'd happily bring them into my bed if they would settle, but they just start climbing on everything. They start shouting to go downstairs and get increasingly angry when they can't. Last night I cracked and let them go downstairs at about 3am (I know, how stupid! But they'd been shouting for hours) I just don't know how to deal with them. Obviously they are being awfully grumpy in the day now too as they're so tired. They are still having a decent nap for a couple of hours each day, from around 11am. What on earth do I do??

Just to add, they do share a room and have separate cots. Unfortunately we don't have an extra bedroom to separate them, though I'm not sure that would make much difference anyway.

Could you try dropping the nap entirely, or shortening it by quite a lot? How much exercise are they getting during the day?

My DTs were absolutely awful at the same sort of age, and like you I’d had good sleepers beforehand. I ended up sleeping in with them for a few nights probably more like weeks, I’m too tired to remember! because that helped to calm the craziness a bit so we got some sleep.

It’s utter shit, but it will pass. In my case, really really slooooooowly (2-3.5 have been utterly awful) but once they started nursery things got a lot more bearable. Having said that, they’ve been up nearly all night tonight so today is going to be an absolute barrel of laughs!

Thanks for replying @MuchTooTired (I like your username!) I have thought about dropping the nap, but they're just so grumpy and tired that we are all desperate for a break by mid morning... I will try capping it at an hour and see if that helps though. They definitely don't get enough exercise, which I feel terrible about. I can't safely control them on my own at the moment, so can't get them out unless DH or a friend is with me. We manage it every 3-4 days and they are so much better for it. I wish I could get them out every day. Our garden is rubbish too (small and steep with different levels) so even that isn't really safe when I'm alone.

What time do they go to bed?

Bed time is around 7pm.

Can you put them in reins and take them out that way? If you put your hands through the loop at the end and then hold the rein itself, even if one of them pulls suddenly you shouldn’t lose the rein that way

@Solasum I've really tried to get them to accept the reins, but they get so angry and just drop to the floor and scream! They're like little wild animals! Most of the time they are lovely just to add (or they were when they were getting a good night's sleep )

Nothing to suggest but have a virtual hug.

You are not alone, there are many films on YouTube of the things twins get up to at night.

How dark is their bedroom? Mine were in total pitch black, black out roller blind although Bloc do total width fitting ones, and black out curtains. No light from street lights, no low level lamps in their rooms, no landing light or lamp.

I didn't have twins but not being able to see anything means it should get boring fast. Dh and I also sleep in pitch black, we have horizontal venetians plus a thermal black out roller blind in front plus black out curtains.

Do you have anything inside that can tire them out? Mini trampoline with hand rail? A little slide they can keep climbing the ladder on? Some sort of dancing join along with on YouTube.

It is really shit though, you have my sympathies.

Oh, @AugustSeptemberOctober I completely understand! Mine were the same! Do you drive? Or have a twin group locally? Do you have the little back packs with the reins on them? Mine used to love filling it up with snacks and toys because they were grown ups like mama and would wear them happily, then get tangled up like puppies 😳

We had an indoor little tikes mini climbing frame with slide and a small little tiles bouncy castle when they were this age, could be worth looking at, or one of those little exercise trampolines? Even getting them running around in the house would help - mine used to empty the cans out of the cupboard, take them to another room and I’d shout at them like an army Sargent to get them running back and forth with a can each. They found it brilliant fun and would do it for ages.

With your garden and the different levels, are they low enough they can jump/roll down a level? Or walk slowly up steps holding your hand? Could pretend there’s monsters or dragons or go on a fairy hunt round the garden 200 times?

I’m 100% aware these all sound boring as hell, and I’m no Earth mother or have angel children (mine were/are feral little beasts!) I’m just trying to remember what I used to do to stop myself going stir crazy and to knacker them out so they’d go to sleep. Sorry if they’re not helpful or you’ve already tried them.

What's your nap schedule like? Mine were like this and it nearly broke me. In the end they weren't allowed to sleep last 130, regardless of what time they actually went to sleep at. Made for some long afternoons but it did help their night time sleep and it was always easiest to deal with them during the day when I got enough sleep!

I would try having one in your room for a bit to check which one it is waking first . I used to have to grab the noisy one quickly before he woke up the other to stop it all escalating!

Definitely cut the nap to an hour.
You say you don’t take them out by yourself as you can’t control them but do they get out in the pushchair? Even a stroll around the block to get some fresh air?
Can you look at getting a fence to section off the slopes in the garden? I did this with my multi levelled garden to make it safe.
When they wake up don’t engage, keep the room dark as a pp suggested and just keep putting them back to bed, whispering ‘bedtime’ and repeat repeat repeat!!

It won’t get fixed overnight and you have to be prepared to make small changes and not expect miracles but it will get better.

Oh you must be exhausted!
I used to play "fetch" with mine. This involved me sitting on the sofa and throwing a bean bag across the sitting room for them to run & get.
Also, are there any small, fenced playgrounds in any housing estates near you. We have one a couple of miles away which is now known as "the boring playground" as it had so little in it but that was crucial for me as it was easier to control them and I knew they couldn't escape. If any playground is potentially lethal, then are there any tennis courts near you where you can close the gate and they can run around?

Oh OP, what a nightmare!

If it makes you feel better, I once took DD at about the same age downstairs at 3am by accident. She'd woken up and was calling for me, it was winter, I thought it was 6.30, so I very sleepily got her out of her cot, changed her, took her downstairs and only realised it was 3am when I put the TV on and there was no CBeebies. She was delighted and there was no going back to bed 🤦‍♀️ That was a long, long day. She did sleep better the next night, though!

My little one is just turned 2. We have to be very careful now with nap length and the time of it or sleep does not go well.

We have to make sure she's not sleeping past 2-2.30 and sleep is no more than an hour. Bedtime is 7.30pm sometimes closer to 8pm. She usually sleeps about 12hrs. Sometimes more other times less. I try and make nap about 12/12.30 and that works best. Sometimes if we are busy I just let her get a wee 20-30mins in the car. It's enough to not have her exhausted.

My elder dd dropped her nap by then and still only slept 10 hours max, I would watch how much sleep they get in the daytime and keep them up until around 7.30pm to see if that resets things