In desperate need of help - 14mo sleep

[LaurenN23]

I would be so grateful if anyone could help. I'm literally on the edge at the moment and im not sure how much more I can take. My 14mo has never been a good sleeper (she's slept through the night less than a handful of times in her life) we got into a pattern around 2 months ago where for a couple of weeks she just woke once or twice a night but now we're back to 3+ every night and it's killing us.

She's still breastfed at bedtime, through the night and in the morning. She eats solids really well and generally goes down for sleeps without an issue and settles herself. She has 2 naps a day (15 mins @9.30 and roughly 2 hours at 12.45) we did try just one lunchtime nap for a few days but she was in a foul mood all day!!

The only thing that will settle her at night is being breastfed or being held to sleep and then put back down (but that takes sometimes 1.5hours+ as she screams every time she gets put in her crib unless she's been fed or is fast asleep)

I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. If you have any advice please help if you can x

Following with interest - in a very similar boat and reluctant to sleep "train"

Just wanted to say I have no real advice but my sympathies. DC1 was like this from about 11 months through to 20 months- just screamed and screamed and screamed at night- I thought I was going to break. What didn't help was DC2 being born when DC1 was 16 months old.

At 20 months he just stopped. We didn't do anything differently. Sadly now at just gone two years old we're back to the multiple night wakings and screaming, for no discernible reason. And DC2 is still waking 2-3 times a night for a feed so that's fun 😣

All I can gather is that many children just go through these phases and sadly we just have to ride it out. DC1 was a fab sleeper as a young baby so I don't know what happened!

Can you night wean? It sounds like she is waking out of habit and is ‘rewarded’ with milk, as she is able go to sleep by herself. I suspect your options are to carry on as you are, or maybe cosleep if that makes it any easier, or to stop feeding at all overnight.

If you do night wean, I would come up with a solid plan of how you’re going to deal with night waking with your DH beforehand and make sure you stick to it. There is no point starting if you don’t see it through. I would also do it when you both have a bit of time off work.

I'd agree on the night weaning. She won't like it and you'll have a tough couple of nights but she'll be sleeping through the night again soon. The only problem with that is then if she's ever I'll or teething etc you might get yourself back in the habit as you'll understandably want to comfort her.

How do you feel about stopping breast feeding ?
If you’re being used as a dummy it’s time to have a think.

Thanks so much for all your responses @GoodnightGrandma @idontknow54789 @Bancha @Wondering1000 @sparklytriceratops

we're only going to have one baby because of how hard we have found our DD and the sleep. So I am really really reluctant to give up breastfeeding because I know it's the only time I will do it and I love it so much. But am I making it worse for myself? :( don't want to give up and then find out it's not the answer! She was up 3 times last night but her nights are just so unpredictable that's what makes it worse 😢 xx

I doubt her sleep will improve until you night wean.

I don’t have advice, my third would wake up to 10 times per night. But to give you hope - she did just suddenly get better, and it was around 14 months.

We continued breastfeeding until 20 months too, so it wasn’t that.

My bubba had reflux (she still does at 2), so we slightly elevated her cot. Also, she was much happier when she could position herself in her sleep, and roll back and forth. We used a blanket bag.