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Original poster

Starting to feel like I’ll never sleep again

33 replies

Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 01:46

And of course I will and it’s just a phase but in all seriousness…

DS is nearly one. He’s not the worlds worst sleeper in a way - he wakes up once overnight. The problem is he won’t go back in his own bed once he’s woken. This has always been the case but once you could sneak him back in after an hour or two. Now forget it.

I am starting to think there’s something in the rod for your own back saying as he isn’t content to sleep with you, he has to sleep on you, so you are pinned down by him. He also has a not lovely habit of head butting. I think it’s a mark of affection but it hurts.

I’m so tired and run down. Am I stuck with him until he’s about 4 or is there a way of getting him back to his own bed? Sad

OP posts:
thatstheloveiwantiwantlove · 08/12/2021 01:51

I feel your pain - I'm up with my 1 year old twins who've now been up since midnight and just won't go back to sleep. I've got to be up for work at 430 😢

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 01:57

It’s horrible. 430? Shock what do you do? I was feeling sorry for myself being up at 6!

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 08/12/2021 02:40

I used to find it ok if I ended up with a child asleep in with me. I could actually sleep just fine. I appreciate some people don't. They eventually just stay in their own beds or get back into the won beds from yours if their own accord, ime. (4)

I'm on the sofa again tonight because P is snoring and every night it makes me resent him more and more. Sad

LadyOfTheFlowers · 08/12/2021 02:41

Excuse typos. I'm done in.

minitree · 08/12/2021 07:52

Vanishing chair technique 👌🏻

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 07:55

Wrong thread? Smile

OP posts:
minitree · 08/12/2021 08:03

@Magicalwoodlands

Wrong thread? Smile
No. Google it..
Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 08:07

I’ve done a fair amount of Googling since I’ve barely slept since last December. I assume this is some sort of gradual retreat. That doesn’t work here. DS isn’t remotely comforted by your mere presence, he has to be ON you. Even holding his hand or stroking his back makes no difference.

OP posts:
minitree · 08/12/2021 08:09

@Magicalwoodlands

I’ve done a fair amount of Googling since I’ve barely slept since last December. I assume this is some sort of gradual retreat. That doesn’t work here. DS isn’t remotely comforted by your mere presence, he has to be ON you. Even holding his hand or stroking his back makes no difference.
Then he needs to gradually learn that won't be happening anymore.

My son was the same but I decided to change things.

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 08:15

I’m glad it worked for you.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/12/2021 08:21

At nearly one it's time to change things, it's habit now and that can be changed as @minitree said. Not the same as when they are barely out of the womb and need to sleep on you. You need to show him other ways to sleep and that he can't sleep on you. He will complain but you know the difference between complaining crying and crying because he's ill or whatever.

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 08:22

He does cry. It isn’t just complaining - he will be sick if I leave him.

OP posts:
minitree · 08/12/2021 08:23

@Magicalwoodlands

He does cry. It isn’t just complaining - he will be sick if I leave him.
No one's saying leave him.

Shush/pat, vanishing chair, myriad different methods.

Nothing ever changes by staying the same.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/12/2021 08:48

Don't leave him, just keep showing him the cot is where he needs to sleep. Stay with him and pat him. Keep doing it,over and over.

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 08:55

No indeed but in this case leaving him has exactly the same effect as shush pat etc.

OP posts:
MalbecandToast · 08/12/2021 09:00

It will be awful of course it will, but it's short lived. Both shush pat and gradual retreat work a d work quite quickly. If you want better sleep you will have to bite the bullet and do it.

thatstheloveiwantiwantlove · 08/12/2021 09:01

@Magicalwoodlands

It’s horrible. 430? Shock what do you do? I was feeling sorry for myself being up at 6!

Managed to get about an hour's sleep before having to commute - I work in a very traditional male dominated industry for blokes whose wife's are mostly STAHM/part time so they just don't understand that I work full time and have zero sleep at the moment 😂

WTF475878237NC · 08/12/2021 09:01

As the others have said it is possible to make these changes successfully using the methods above but it's going to take up to two weeks of even less sleep to get there.

Original poster
Magicalwoodlands · 08/12/2021 09:03

work quite quickly not for some babies, they don’t. I’m genuinely pleased if it worked for you but I’d be clearing up vomit.

Oh @thatstheloveiwantiwantlove Flowers it will pass. I keep telling myself this! I’m fed up myself, I just wish he’d sleep!

OP posts:
thatstheloveiwantiwantlove · 08/12/2021 09:04

@Magicalwoodlands

No indeed but in this case leaving him has exactly the same effect as shush pat etc.

I agree - with my eldest (also have a 5 year old) we just needed to prioritise sleep if DH and I able to even try and function at work so no leaving to cry it out or pick up/put down etc - it was on bed on me and they was it!

Now with the twins it's bloody difficult - one will sleep on me - the other won't and I've only got one pair of hands and neither will settle for DH

Ah well - lots of coffee and cakes for breakfast hopefully no one will ask me any technical questions at work today I don't think I could tell them my own name at the moment 😂

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/12/2021 09:07

@Magicalwoodlands

No indeed but in this case leaving him has exactly the same effect as shush pat etc.
No, it's not the same, he will know you're there.
MalbecandToast · 08/12/2021 13:28

How can you know it won't work if you won't try?!

minitree · 08/12/2021 13:57

@MalbecandToast

How can you know it won't work if you won't try?!
These threads are always the same.

Someone complains of sleep deprivation.

People offer advice.

Op says it won't work on their child, but has clearly never tried.

Repeat.

MalbecandToast · 08/12/2021 14:28

@minitree very frustrating! I've done some form of ",sleep training" for 4 kids. Yes it was hard, yes it took time but it WORKS if you stick with it. A week or two of hell is so much better than endlessly feeling exhausted and sick from lack of sleep.

DragonMamma · 08/12/2021 14:41

Also had another one that was like this and it is trainable. There’s no point throwing in the towel already - it’s usually a few horrendous nights and then it changes.

Also, if he’s waking at 6am (which I think is what you said) but going through until then, I would say that’s a pretty decent sleeper 🤷🏼‍♀️