Nap sleep training help!

[Wrongsideofpennines]

I am confused about sleep training and need help. Basically because I'm doing what the health visitor told me to.

10 month old DD only naps on me or in a moving car or pram. Health visitor told me we should put her in the cot and check on her when she cries. So that's what I'm doing today. She woke as soon as I put her down and has cried pretty much constantly since. I checked on her every 5 minutes and she is hysterical. It's now been 90 minutes and so nap time is over now and she has an only 5 minutes sleep and that was on me. Do I keep going until she has slept for the usual 90 minutes and just not give her lunch? Or let her fall asleep during lunch and then go through the cycle of putting her in the cot and the hysterical screaming but still no sleep?

When is she actually supposed to get the sleep she needs? Because if I do this for her afternoon nap too then she literally won't have slept at all and we'll all be 10 times worse off than we were.

Can’t help I’m afraid but watching with interest as I’m also having nap issues (recently posted for nap advice)!

So going in never worked for my dd. When I nap trained her I just did sleep time routine, shut the door and turned off the sound on the monitor. Took two days of less than 20 mins crying each day and she has taken long naps ever since. When I tried going in every 5 mins or whatever I had a similar experience to you and she’d end up crying for way way longer and it felt mean because I think she just saw me leaving repeatedly.

I tried this literally at the same time you posted! Spooky.

So, I tried the whole putting her in the cot and going in every so often when she was crying to calm her down but then as soon as I would leave she would be in hysterics again. This went on for about 40 minutes - in the end she was so worked up I just couldn't continue and ended up taking her out of the cot and abandoning nap time.

But she was so tired that she fell asleep on me anyway and slept until about 3pm. Not sure where to go from here - whether I should keep trying or abandon it altogether. Consistency is key and I don't think my heart is in it.

She sleeps OK at night in the cot?

I remember DS and DD only starred napping in their cot at a reliable time once they'd started daycare, where the nap was every day from 12-2.

Before that it was random napping in the car seat, pram on walks. Hard because you don't really get a break.

She will sleep in the cot at night. Wakes at 11 for boob and then anywhere from 1-3 times more. But usually you pick up and she falls back to sleep on you pretty quickly and you can put her back down.

I don't know if Pick up Put down is going to work so I don't want to waste time if it's not but consistency is key so can't just give up straight away. But if she screams instead of sleeping then she might just abandon the nap altogether and I think she genuinely needs 2 naps still.

I’m confused as to why you need her napping in a cot, when she’s sleeping well at night? Naps last until they’re 2-3 max (18 months with my first); it’s good bedtime habits that are key, and that’s much easier to sort without an overtired and confused baby.

Could you push the pram back and forth in the kitchen/hall for the start of naps, then leave her to nap there? The motion should help her drop off even if there are tears.

I think she's too little for this method. I personally hate crying myself to sleep as an adult so not sure just shutting the door as some HV advise is particularly kind. HV are not experts. There are some gentle methods if you follow infant sleep specialists like Sarah Ockwell Smith but they say not to change anything that's working today just because you've been warned about tomorrow.

@Timeturnerplease Unfortunately she doesn't stay asleep in the pram. She literally wakes up the second I stop outside the front door. Some days the napping on me is fine, but it means I get no time to myself to do anything. Everything is done with her around or not done at all. I run around in the evenings while she is asleep trying to get everything done that I couldn't manage in the day and then fall into bed myself.
Also, when she starts at the childminder in February I don't think they will cope with contact naps.

@WTF475878237NC Thanks for that suggestion. I will look it up. I don't much like the idea of her crying herself to sleep either. I feel like I'd just be teaching her that I won't come when she needs me/wants me.

I used to think that the habit of napping is common in eastern countries, I'm an eastern kid and I swear we can't do it because the kid wants to go to sleep.
Now, let's play kick the buddy to release stress.