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Struggling with night wakes - Help!

5 replies

CMF1318 · 03/12/2021 16:09

Hi all,

This is my first time posting and I think I’m looking for a bit of help/advice and maybe a pep talk!! DD is 10 months old, she’s slept through a handful of times but mainly always woke once or twice for her dummy or a cuddle. She has recently gone through the 9-10 month sleep regression and I think she still is to a certain extent and is teething with her front top teeth so her sleep hasn’t been the best recently. However, I feel like over this period I’ve hit a bit of a wall and am really struggling to get up when she wakes in the night! DH is great and to be honest he goes and sees to her most of the time during the night recently but it just leaves me feeling incredibly guilty! I am so used to attending to every single need of DDs and I just can’t understand why all of a sudden I don’t have the immediate jump out of bed when I hear her wake in the night now like I used to? I feel like im failing when it comes to night time and also feel angry at myself about it. During the day I pep talk myself and am constantly saying to myself that if she wakes during the night I’ll get up straight away and bounce into her as normal but then when that time comes I find it really difficult to have that immediate get up and go and let DH go into her instead! Really struggling as to what’s wrong with me/ why im finding the night so difficult all of a sudden - I know I don’t want to find it difficult and I know I want to be the one going into her in the night so not sure where my ‘enthusiasm’ has gone?! Any help, reassurance or anyone going through the same thing with some advice would be greatly appreciated xx

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/12/2021 21:45

Just pls be nicer to yourself - you’ve had broken sleep for 10 months, you partner and more importantly the other parent is tending to her. I’m sure if he didn’t of course you would tend to her. Get the rest if he’s happy to get up- swings in roundabouts x

InTheLabyrinth · 03/12/2021 21:54

There is no need to be enthusiastic about being awoken at 2am (again!)!!
I dont think I bounced in to see my chronic none sleeper. Crawled or stumbled might be appropriate descriptions!

EmmaInParis · 03/12/2021 22:23

Right there with you I’m afraid... hope you’re okay. I think it’s just by this time we’ve run out of steam completely and also had the disheartening experience of things getting better only to get worse again. I’m at the same age and stage with my DD and I’m finding it almost harder than when she was a newborn as I’m running on empty... no advice sadly just solidarity! Be kind to yourself x

CMF1318 · 04/12/2021 06:12

Thank you for your replies Smile yes of course I do get up if DH isn’t here or wouldn’t get up - he’s so good recently though and does get up with DD most nights - I think I need to relax and like you say enjoy the rest while he’s happy to get up with her. @EmmaInParis so sorry you’re going through it too and equally at least we’re not alone in this! yes It really is almost harder than the newborn stage isn’t it! I think we almost feel more drained because they’re so much more aware and active in the day, which is amazing, but limits any day time rest that we would have got when they were newborn. We’ll get through, thank you all xx

OP posts:
Timeturnerplease · 04/12/2021 15:39

I think it’s an age thing too - DC, not you! I leap out of bed immediately when 18wo DD2 wakes, but I always leave 3yo DD1 to DP. I feel like I did so much of the night wakes until I went back to work that I don’t now have the energy to go in at 3am and answer inane questions about where giraffes live and how many sleeps it is until her play date with X.

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