Bedtime routine

[Michlj]

How do I start a routine for my 9 week old.....Right now he feeds every 3 hours, he has a bottle at 11pm and goes down till 2/3am....Ideally we want him going down at 8pm but he seems wide awake from 7pm to 11pm. As a newish born I read that 11pm is ideal so maybe jumping the gun?? TYIA xx

I think he's still a bit young to be concerned with a strict routine tbh

When do you think the appropriate age would be? How did you introduce it.

I got myself into routine from day 1, dd started to recognise it about 4 months old if o remember correctly. I would bathe, feed, lie in basket in darkened room (only tv on for My sanity, she was faced away from tv with hood up) if she was awake that's fine but would have no eye contact etc. If she stirred/fussed I would stroke hair or something else to sooth but would restrict interactions like picking her up. About 4 months old she would start getting tired around the 6.30 Mark which was bath time for us and then continue routine. Routine was more for my benefit than baby.

Thank you for your reply. Yes routine is key to keep some normality isnt it. They also say more milk they have longer they sleep but our bby is starting to go longer even with the same amount of milk. It must be as they mature a bit too. x

I also had a routine from day 1. Up to bedroom about 6.45, bath, story (often made up when newborn) feed then down while awake but drowsy. Then I'd wake baby up for sleepy feed at about 11pm before I went to bed, and baby would wake again about 2-3am for another then any time from 6am up for the day. I persevered but it didn't really click in for a couple months, but seeing friends having nightmare times for months on end due to child led bedtimes and I felt it worked for us. It meant I had an evening with my husband too.
When you have a second you bathe them together and hopefully oldest well settled in to the routine so after story they go to bed and you can feed your newborn and then put them down.
Occasionally the baby did cry out, and if it went on longer than a minute but was not time for food, I'd go in, keep the light off and after checking the nappy (by feel) stroke the baby with soothing words and usually they fell back asleep. Do not pick the baby up unless really wailing. Do not turn the light on. Just gently reassuring you are close by.
I did this with both mine and I was never sleep deprived, I had child free evenings with my husband, and well rested children. My second did have reflux so took longer to properly settle in to the routine (so I'd put her down but she wouldn't settle) but at three months she got it too.

Wow....My baby cluster fed from day 1 so would of been up and down. We also have only just got him going every 3 hours....we fed on demand. When I see hes drowsy I put him in his moses in the living room but he never settles really from 7 to 11 then hes out like a light for the night until 3amish.....x

I've had a routine for about 5 weeks now, my baby is 8 weeks, although it's worth noting he sleeps terrible in the day and has since birth. 3/4 hours in the day time max so I have to start his routine early.

Feed at 5pm ( not a full one if possible, mainly so not frantic in bath )
5:45 take him upstairs for a kick around with out his nappy on and looks at his sensory cards whilst I prepare his bath and everything for after.
5:55 ish bath
6:00 lotion and warm pjs
6:10 in dark room next door having rest of feed
6:10-6:30 holding him to unwind, patting and shhing
6:30 take into bedroom all in the dark, place in crib, swaddle and white noise. Walk out the room.

Since 1 week ago baby goes upstairs to his crib for bedtime and I have a baby monitor. Not agreed with by most people but he needs we getting more disturbed by our lights and noise.

X

Very young- we had a routine from maybe 4 months but was still c.9pm/10pm, then by 9 months it was 8pm and now she’s 1 it’s 7/7.30pm. However the baby being up later doesn’t mean there’s no routine, I still did bath and bedtime sleep suit around 6pm- structure for me without the pressure of a schedule on a newborn.

Thanks all....So my bby has his last bottle at 11pm then sleeps until 2am sometimes 3am....When we are ready how can we bring his bedtime earlier if he is used to 11pm being his longest sleep? xx

Start routine by wake up time, hard at first but wake at 7 (you might want 8) and give feed. Naps/daytime sleep is key so they aren’t tired when having a feed. Morning sleep 9am (nap is 40mins or less, your aiming for more!) when you can stretch feed to nearer 11am! Next sleep approx 2hours from wake up time. Feed at 2pm/3pm then nap 4.30-5, sleeping later than 5 will mess up bedtime. Wake at 5 give a wee feed and then do bedtime routine, massage, bath, book whatever it is to be, feed at 6.30 and down for 7pm. This will work eventually! I’ve never heard of 11pm for a baby bedtime? I’m asleep by then (9!) I just feed once usually at night but you could try a dream feed at 10.

Routines helped me know if baby was hungry tired or something else. Also helped me plan my day so I wasn’t somewhere rubbish for a feed or a nap!

You’ll have folk say don’t but sounds like you want a routine so go for it!

Start with little steps 7am wake up every day and eventually the naps will fall into place!

Some days it will go to pot but don’t fear!

When you feel happy to do so put baby to bed at 7pm in their cot or Moses and use a monitor so you can sit in living room and let them sleep. Good luck!

Thank you all who replied xxx Really good advice