"Be in same room when baby sleeps" advice

[SylvesterTheCat]

Advice is that baby should sleep in the same room as you for first 6 months but, having looked into what time 'bedtime' should be for a three month old I came across a lot of posts on here suggesting they put their little ones "in their cot" at (whatever time). Same for daytime naps. Does this mean the mum/dads are going to bed too or do people just ignore the "be in the same room" advice?

At the moment I'm enjoying my evenings watching a bit of telly with baby asleep on me until about 9:30/10:00 but maybe is this avoiding teaching baby how to settle in calm environment/cot (and DH likes the telly quite loud tbh)? I don't want to be selfish however I do look forward to my evenings when I can relax a bit and feel like I'm having a bit of me time.

Confused.

Mine slept downstairs until we went up to bed
Didn't go upstairs for a set bedtime until they were a bit older

well, we were living in a flat with the bedroom off the sitting room, so the baby just went in the cot in the bedroom, and it never occurred to me that they shouldn't.

There is no way I would have gone to bed with them!

You sound like you have a routine that works for you, and is safe, so don't worry about what others think

My DD is 3 months and is downstairs with us napping/feeding/gentle play/having a story all evening until I think she's likely to settle for her first long stretch of sleep, currently between 10 and 11, at which point we (the baby and I) go to bed. If she starts settling earlier I'll probably take the chance to sit in bed and read or catch up on sorting the piles and piles of laundry so I'll be in and out of the bedroom but won't be leaving her for too long.
During the day she pretty much only naps on me anyway but on the rare occasion she does konk out on her playmat I leave her there and either try and get a nap myself on the sofa or again do some chores where I'll be on and out of the room.

Mine slept downstairs in the baby box until I went to bed for the first few months I think, then I started putting him to bed upstairs in the evening. Although he napped outside for daytime naps so wasn't in the same room as me then.

My baby is 10 weeks and goes in his bed at 7/7:30pm. He's probably left for an hour as I'm in and out - Have dinner/shower.

Then I go up to bed at 9 and read/watch something with earphones.

Once they got to 4 months old mine really needed a 7pm bedtime and dark/quiet to sleep so from then on they went to bed upstairs in the cot with the baby monitor. If your baby is happy downstairs with you then I wouldn’t rush to change anything.

Our 3mth baby will sleep in her travel cot while I do workouts or have a shower so not in same room then. I keep her with me most of the evening but put her to bed shortly before I go up. She settles with noise and often falls asleep in her chair watching me lift in the gym, with 5 older siblings it's very noisy in general. I kept the older ones with me most of the time too until they were over a year old.

Cot bed upstairs for shower, travel cot is downstairs. I love the travel cots, so useful for baby/toddler.

DD1 stayed downstairs with us either sleeping on us or in the pram bassinet as we didn't get a Moses basket, it was safe for overnights) til she was 6 months as we stuck with the SIDS guidance. I did sometimes go to bed early and take her up with me. Generally fed her when we went to bed about 10.30 to help settle into her next to me for proper bedtime. She stayed in with us a bit past 6 months as she was ill at the time and then started nursery but when we moved her and her proper cot next door she was fine, she used to wake still but for feeds. Never ever did any sleep training and she quite happily goes up for bath and bed, falling asleep to a story or a cuddle afterwards and sleeps through most nights.

We did always do bath and into fresh sleepsuit and sleeping bag in the early evening so had that bit of routine but it wasn't bedtime as such, we didn't dim the lights or anything.

I'm hoping the same will work with DD2 but it's pot luck I think!

I just went to bed with mine but she was such a fucking terrible sleeper I needed the full 12 hours horizontal, if not actually asleep, to survive.

She was also a screaming mess so none of this “watching TV in a dimly lit room while the baby snoozed on shoulder/in basket”.

DD had three modes from 6pm: red-faced hatred of the world and all who dwelled in it; unconscious; tits. I put her and me to bed ASAP to just alternate frequently between the latter two and avoid the first one.

Until about 4 months DS stayed downstairs sleeping on one of us or in Moses basket before me and him going up around 9/10/11pm. At 4 months we established an earlier bedtime for him, around 7pm. He’d be asleep in next-to-me and I’d just read or watch iPad in bed next to him and I’d go to sleep around 9 as I was sleep deprived anyway. It was ok at first but then got a bit soul destroying not having an evening, especially when the days were getting longer and I was stuck in bed while it was still light outside! So at around 5.5 months I started going downstairs with the baby monitor for a couple of hours.

Second daughter we had a moses basket downstairs (she was small so fit in it till 6 months) and moved her to her crib in our room at our bedtime - usually she stayed asleep. We had the lights in the lounge dimmed and the TV not too loud.

With my first daughter we tried the above but she preferred to be on me cluster feeding all evening then in my bed all night!

I was very lucky and mine started sleeping 9-7 at about 8 weeks, so I started a bedtime routine and she went into her cot in her room from then. She did naps in her room from about 6 weeks.

Do what works for you/ your baby.

Mine wouldn’t sleep in a cot full stop till she was 1, so she slept on us downstairs and then coslept with me. When she started going to bed earlier then yes I went to bed with her, because there really wasn’t any other way she’d sleep. I’d get her settled and watch tv with headphones/ read/ chat quietly to DH who would come and sit with me/ bring my hot chocolate.

I was thrilled when I started being able to put her down and get some semblance of an evening back, but personally I wouldn’t have left her before 6 months anyway (it was the additional 6 months I could do without). Have a good read about the safe sleep guidelines so you’re clear what they are and then decide what you’re happy with. Don’t worry too much about what other people say bedtime should be or how you should be teaching them to sleep or bad habits etc etc. If it’s working for you it’s working - you can still do a bedtime routine at the later time you all go to bed and then gradually bring it forward but honestly at 3 months they are going to change so much anyway, easier to just be led by then I think.