Different ways people co-sleep. Tips please!!

[MrsHarry]

DD has been co-sleeping with us recently because she's been unsettled (cold/teething etc).
We have a v. large bed so there is a natural space for her inbetween mine and DH's pillows where she lies in her sleeping bag, and I can make sure our duvet doesn't cover her.

However it's made me wonder how people co-sleep all the time in order to feed as well. If LO is to get to boobs whenever she wants to surely mum has to be naked and not covered by duvet or whatever.
Or, if you have cover over you, how does baby lie next to you and not be covered??
How does it work????

I can only have DD safely in our bed if she is lying between the pillows and higher than me, this means I can still snuggle in the duvet and keep warm! To feed her I have to actually sit up and pick her up.

How do you do it? Please share your methods of sleeping safely and keeping warm!!

I have wondered this too. I am pregnant with my third and plan to co-sleep this time which I have not done before. I also have a huge bed and thought the same as you - the space between the pillows if perfect as I love to snuggle under the duvet. But it is certainly not ideal for breastfeeding which I also do. I can't imagine sleeping without my thick duvet anytime of year.

I will be watching this with interest and taking notes!

We have co-slept from day one with my 7mo dd. She sleeps next to me, dh on the other side of me. Feeding is easy as I just roll over and either lift up my pj top when she asks or leave the top of my pjs/nightie unbuttoned for ease of access. If I need to feed from the other side I just roll over more so I am slightly on my belly. She helps herself and then goes back to sleep, I barely wake up.

Blankets/duvets etc have become harder now it's cold. In the summer me and her slept tucked under a cotton throw together. Now, she is in a grobag and our duvet goes over me and not over her. I often tuck the duvet under me so it can't go near her and I just fold the duvet down enough at relevant times to expose my boobs so she can feed.

I love co-sleeping. I wouldn't sleep otherwise as dd still feeds every 2hrs. I think some people put their dcs on top of the duvet which sounds alright in theory but we muddle through the way we are doing it now.

How to co-sleep safely

OK. IT's been awhile but iirc I wore eother separates where I could push the top up and over my breast or I wore BFing nighties that had a big opening that pushed under the breast. I always wore sleep bras in bed as otherwise they'd leak everywhere. When the DCs were small enough that they slept with their own cover, I'd just bring them to the breast when they woke and push my covers down far enough that they didn't cover DCs head whilst they were feeding. On reall cold nights I'd go to bed with a cardigan on so I wouldn't get cold with the covers pushed down.

To actually feed - I'd lay on my side with the DC supported by my arm, laying on their side, face level with my breast, and they'd latch on from there. When they were older I'd often fall asleep like that and wake up with a dead arm and a still attached baby

when i co slept with one under 6m (and was therefore also feeding) i used a guard rail on my side of the bed and had the baby between me and the rail. dp was not comfortable with the baby in the middle as he was worried hed roll on him.

with the baby at the edge, in a sleepsuit (or just poppered vest if summer) it was easier to keep track of how much duvet they were under.

for the most part, the baby would sleep in the crook of my arm, which would obv be out of the duvet to allow that... and i remember having cold arm doing that, so would wear long sleeves, but presumably it would be a b/f top as i had boobs available at all times, or easy to flop out into nuzzling mouth. a low cut top or button up pjtop worked mostly as could have unbuttoned.

by the third child in 3 yrs, i was so relaxed (knackered) that bebe could feed as often as he liked all night and i wouldnt even wake.

also, with baby between me and the edge rail, the middle of the bed was free for one of the other, slightly bigger, babies to join us after a nightmare/nappy leak/burp/whatever else.

if i could do it all again? id get two giant mattresses and fill awhole room with them and that would be one big sleeping room for us all... and dp and i would sneak off to spare room for shaggin and lovin (or peace and quiet and book reading )

Mmm, lots of food for thought, thank for feedback.

Although, Serenity, I don't think DH would let me come to bed in a cardigan!!

Those people who have baby next to them on top of the duvet, aren't you worried you might roll over, pull the duvet and fling the baby off? Or is it only me that might do that?!!

I had the duvet up to my waist and a long-sleeved pyjama top on, DS with head at boob height in a grobag on top of the duvet, so whenever he needed a feed I would wriggle a boob out for him. (In summer I didn't wear the top and sometimes woke up to find he'd attached himself to the boob without waking me!)

I slept on my side with arm above DS's head to stop him wriggling up too far. Had him between me and bed rail, DH usually went on the sofa as we only have a double bed, though occasionally all three of us would squish in. I never moved an inch when co-sleeping so duvet-pulling was never an issue, in any case I had it tucked in between the mattress and bed guard so there was just no way it could get over DS.

Bedside cot, can recommend them enough, got one with DD2 basically it's an extension of your bed, LO sleeps in there but can roll right up next to you as well.

Nappies - that would be my ideal as well, a great big sleeping room and a Mummy and Daddy room too

I've just started having to wear my cardigan to bed to keep my arms warm [granny emoticon], this is on top of the vest I wear under my pj top !

I have a huge bed and sleep with DS2 (4.5mths) in the crook of my arm so there is no chance of him slipping down or rolling off the bed. I also shake all the feathers in the duvet down to the middle and bottom to keep the bulk of it off DS without me getting too cold. I usually sleep further down the bed with my head next to DS to further decrease the risk of the duvet going over him.

[Disclaimer] Admittedly this probably isn't the best or safest way to co-sleep and am not recommending it over the current safety guidelines, but I feel comfortable with it and wouldn't put DS in any danger.

We have a kingsize bed and I sleep naked (in a vest if cold) with a duvet. I get into bed and lie on my side with DS resting his head on the crook of my arm to feed. Then as he nods off if I'm still awake I shuffle him up the bed so he's next to my pillow (we have a cotbed next to our bed so he can sleep there in theory but he will only sleep if he can touch me [aaaaah emoticon]). In the night he goes back into the crook of my arm to feed and I then sleep on my side with my other arm over him so even if the duvet crept up it wouldn't cover his face IYSWIM. I am surprised by how conscious of him I am, even in my sleep, so much so that if I need to I can confidently sleep with him between DP and I, as long as he's in the crook of my arm (I just roll us both over to feed from the other boob).

I too would say this isn't the safest way, it's not 'by the book', but it works for us and I feel it is safe. The cotbed sidecar is handy for laying my book and spare muslin in the night . It also means I can lie my backside in it instead of hanging out the side of the bed!

we sidecar - we've got an Ikea cot which i've taken the side off and push up to our bed, which is a kingsize mattress on the floor. i then prop a couple of pillows up along the side of the cot to make the mattress and the cot level with the cot IYSWIM. ds is like a little radiator, and hates Grobags etc, so kicks his blankets off at the first oppurtunity. i have to say there's been a couple of occasions where i've woken up with him snuggled up to dh underneath the duvet though. no idea how he got there!!

I'm getting a bedside cot for this baby and will use sheets and a blanket for me and dp, then a normal blanket for LO. I'd assume it will end up in my ned more often than not, (DS did) but I want to be able to put baby to bed by itself and to let baby have enough room too.

oh wow, that's gorgeous VS! this is our one, it does the job but not nearly as nice as yours...

Ours is a super kingsize bed (6ft 6 wide). I put the pillows on the far edges of the bed and DD (9 months) in the middle. I wriggle right down under the duvet and put her higher up. She is actually under the duvet, which isn't recommended.

I wear a BF nightie with an opening down the front and lay on my side with my arm round DD's head to feed her. I swap sides during the night. If I don't wake up quickly enough she helps herself.

Nowhere near the price either!
I said to dp that I wanted that exact cot though as I'm not expecting anything else! We don't need a new carseat and I don't want all the other tosh everyone tries to make you buy (by the time it's your third you soon realise it's a waste of money!)
DP was just going to get us a bigger bed and a bed guard but I thought a cot thingy made more sense, especially as we'd need something for baby to sleep in when it's not co-sleeping anymore.

VS - i think it's nice for them to get used to have their own sleeping space as well, although you're still close to them!!

Yeah, defnitely, I didn't co-sleep with DD but did with DS and everyone told me I was making a rod for my own back cos he wouldn't sleep and I'd have big problems when I stopped, but I always put them down to bed in the evening, and they got used to the bedtime routine and their own space, this way I can have the best of both worlds.

I co-sleep with dd who is nearly 4. She has her own set of blankets so she doesn't get cold. Would like to put her in her own bed but she has non-convulsive status seizures. Co-sleeping I hear the change in her breathing. If she was in another bed I wouldn't hear and she would be dead when I woke up.
No idea what to do when she's older.

if you want to cosleep and bf on cold winter nights, you can get one of those body belt type things that you can put under your pyjama top that way, when you lift your top, you don't have an exposed midriff to freeze away.

alternatively get a cheap strappy tops and cut off the straps so you can hoik it down after you hoik your pj up. Works well for bf in public too.

ooh that's a good idea kiskidee.

10 mths ds sleeps in the middle, head between pillows and under the duvet but because dp is so large (broad) the duvet is always slightly lifted off him. so he goes under the duvet but with head and shoulders exposed. i wear a nighty or on colder nights pj's and i just pull him down to feed, then push him back up between the pillows when he's done. works for us, and i know he's nice and toasty as our house is quite cold.

saying that, we're going to rename him exocet, as he's a bit of a heat seaking missile and likes to sleep smack up to my boobs !

we did matress on floor.me in middle of dh and ds.my pillow turmed lenth ways so he had no pillow.i wrap duver under me(comfy) and ds had gro bag.room was completly baby safe just incase i didnt hear him get up and party in night

probably been said loads on here-not read thread-but three in a bed by deborah jackson is great read.