10 month old silent reflux - at breaking point

[tiredanddesperate]

Hi there,

I hope you can help us. My partner and I are at our wits end and there doesn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel. We have a baby boy who is almost 11 months old. He has never slept for more than 4 hours through the night.

Since the age of 6 months, he has been fed to sleep in his cot. We are conscious that this may have created a bad sleep association. He wakes by 10.30/11pm every night and refuses to be put back down in his cot. He will writhe, wriggle and sit up in protest.

Subsequently, we end up admitting defeat and bringing him in to co-sleep with us, which has taken its own toll on us as a couple. In the last week, we’ve been adopting the shush-pat/moving chair sleep coaching method to try and break the boob sleep association, with varying degrees of success. He’s gone down for some daytime naps in his cot, which was previously unheard of. He would usually only settle on mum/boob or be rocked to sleep in the pram. He’s also gone down in the evening without tears, still awake and being shushed to sleep.

However, each night there has been a 1.5hr/2hr wake window where our son has been inconsolable, with piercing screams and constant sitting up. To the point that we’re at breaking point and don’t have the strength or energy to stick to the sleep plan.

Around the age of 3 months, we queried with the HV and GP whether our son had silent reflux. He has been a heavy drooler from a v. early age and still has to wear bibs to prevent his tops from getting saturated during the day. We just assumed he was an early teether, especially after HV and GP fobbed us off and said it was colic due to his great weight gain (he’s now in the 99th percentile for weight).

After these recent inconsolable nights, mum visited the GP again to talk with another locum about the issues. She said it DID sound like silent reflux and prescribed us infant Gaviscon and Omeprazole on the spot. If this really is the case, it beggars belief that we’ve been allowed to plod on for six months in this manner, to the point that parenting has felt like an increasingly joyless experience. Constantly worrying about his next nap, how he’ll get to sleep and what we’re doing in the evening.

We started the course of Gaviscon and Omeprazole last night, but our son was once again inconsolable around 11pm. I appreciate the effects won’t be instant on these meds, but we just wanted to know how quickly it’s worked for others?

If anyone has any other words of wisdom or comfort for us to help us change our fortunes, it would be so much appreciated. As I said before, it doesn’t feel like there’s any light right now and if everything is a phase, this one needs to end soon ☹

Have you seen a cranial osteopath? They are honestly miracle workers, they fixed my daughter in two sessions! And also we paid for support from the Blissful baby expert for sleep training and she is worth her weight in gold so I’d definitely recommend both of those. Big hugs x

@AperolWhore

Have you seen a cranial osteopath? They are honestly miracle workers, they fixed my daughter in two sessions! And also we paid for support from the Blissful baby expert for sleep training and she is worth her weight in gold so I’d definitely recommend both of those. Big hugs x

Unfortunately we have already had 3 sessions with a cranial osteopath. It didn't appear to do much, even the osteopath said there was little more he could do, but did state he has some kind of stomach tightening (possibly due to being an emergency c-section?)

Sleep coaching obviously makes total sense and as I said in my original post, we've been doing the gradual retreat method. The problem is we just have zero in the tank to stick with it. Praying the Gaviscon and Omeprazole does do something and we can make progress...

Takes about a week for omeprazole to kick in. I'd be carefully with giving too much gaviscon as in mh experience it makes them horribly constipated and didn't do anything to improve the symptoms apart from thicken up the vomit (my baby has full on cover everything in sick reflux)

@Inthesky42

Takes about a week for omeprazole to kick in. I'd be carefully with giving too much gaviscon as in mh experience it makes them horribly constipated and didn't do anything to improve the symptoms apart from thicken up the vomit (my baby has full on cover everything in sick reflux)

Thanks for the advice re. Gaviscon.

Luckily, our son is rarely sick, hence the likely silent reflux diagnosis. We're going to try giving Gaviscon with each meal for the time being and see how we go.

Just feels like we're stabbing in the dark with everything, at a complete loss right now :-(

I am really skeptical about silent reflux I am afraid. I think normal infant behavior is misunderstood and we seek to diagnose when things are out of our control.
You say that he has been fed to sleep since 6 months - sorry can't quote.
This is the issue. BF is more than food yet we frown upon its non nutritive benefits. I know that sleep deprivation is hell but your baby is showing behavior that is developmentally appropriate. Feed him back to sleep or sleep train him. He will need to be taught to sleep independently at some point ..... it will be easier now than when he stands in his cot shouting for you.

Have you looked at a cows milk protein allergy? It would be worth taking cows milk and soya out of his diet for a few weeks.
The screaming doesn't sound normal but the feeding to sleep, only sleeping on mum, night feeds for comfort completely are and if you change your mindset on what is developmentally normal and know that you are meeting his needs, it does make it (a little) easier.

At eleven months your son can learn to settle himself in his cot. He won't come to any harm. If a child is loved, clean and fed then you are doing your very best. Sleep training is absolutely possible and is necessary to prevent parents losing their minds. It also massively improves your relationship with your child.

The PP touched on this and yes sleep training him now is much easier than when he's a bit older. Much older than 11 months and he will be trying to climb out of his cot, not something you want.

The real difficulty with sleep training is sticking to it, when you feel very upset when your child cries. Only attempt it, if you can both stay strong and support each other. Try and remember that it's actually a pretty quick solution when done correctly.

I would not consider sleep training a baby with health issues. It would be cruel. People who haven't lived this can't imagine the suffering they're experiencing.
My baby is 9 months old and has had terrible terrible 'colic' since birth. Writhing around, waking hourly, pulling legs up, screaming in agony, full on crying in his sleep.
When he started solids and we introduced egg he had an anaphylactic reaction to it. He subsequently had a blood test. He is allergic to egg, CMP and soy protein. I am BF still so both me and my baby are now on militantly strict diets. But oh my god it's like night and day. No more waking hourly. No more miserable baby. I am so annoyed with my GP, HV etc for fobbing me off for months. I fought so hard to get a paediatrics referral, then dietician referral. But nobody listened until we were in a&e with a baby struggling to breathe.

Silent reflux at 11 months is highly unlikely.

Will he not feed at all for the wakefull period at night? Could he not just sleep with his mum and feed when needed? Both mine did and both now sleep a good 10 hours without any need for me unless they need help with going for a wee. Night feeds dropped right off when daytime naps finished. Normal biological development, it ain't broke, it doesn't need fixing.

@Junobug

Have you looked at a cows milk protein allergy? It would be worth taking cows milk and soya out of his diet for a few weeks. The screaming doesn't sound normal but the feeding to sleep, only sleeping on mum, night feeds for comfort completely are and if you change your mindset on what is developmentally normal and know that you are meeting his needs, it does make it (a little) easier.

Cow's milk allergy is something on our radar. He does have small areas of eczema-like rashes on his cheeks on occasion. The inconsolable crying and excessive drooling would also appear to tally with this. It does feel like his sleep patterns have regressed since 5-6 months when cow's milk was introduced too...

Assume the GP is the best person to discuss this with as opposed to the health visitor?

Cma could be a high possibility since a lot of the problems have begun since Weaning.
Could little one have a tongue tie?xx

@Lockdownbaby2021

Cma could be a high possibility since a lot of the problems have begun since Weaning. Could little one have a tongue tie?xx

Health visitor immediately urged mum to cut all dairy from her's and son's diet yesterday PM.

Do we return to co-sleeping while he adjusts to a new diet or keep trying gradual retreat at the same time?!

My children had silent reflux and intolerance to cows milk in one and intolerance of gluten in the other. Patches of skin rashes in both. No sleep, lots of screaming through the night. They don't sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time until 18 months in my experience, because of the PAIN, it's got bugger all to do with behaviour. Fuck all.
So I didn't sleep train, I endured, sad to say. The drugs help but need some time to work, and removing the substance they are intolerant to helps most of all.
Slings are a Godsend, tummy to tummy helps with a bit of pressure and warmth on the sore part, and keeping them upright for meals helps with the reflux so again lessens the pain.

Good luck with it all

@MrsPatrickDempsey

I am really skeptical about silent reflux I am afraid. I think normal infant behavior is misunderstood and we seek to diagnose when things are out of our control. You say that he has been fed to sleep since 6 months - sorry can't quote. This is the issue. BF is more than food yet we frown upon its non nutritive benefits. I know that sleep deprivation is hell but your baby is showing behavior that is developmentally appropriate. Feed him back to sleep or sleep train him. He will need to be taught to sleep independently at some point ..... it will be easier now than when he stands in his cot shouting for you.

I have to say I agree with @MrsPatrickDempsey. Once I accepted my eldest was happier cosleeping, we were all happier. At 11m old, he’s still very little. He just doesn’t want to be in a cot alone.

@userlotsanumbers

My children had silent reflux and intolerance to cows milk in one and intolerance of gluten in the other. Patches of skin rashes in both. No sleep, lots of screaming through the night. They don't sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time until 18 months in my experience, because of the PAIN, it's got bugger all to do with behaviour. Fuck all. So I didn't sleep train, I endured, sad to say. The drugs help but need some time to work, and removing the substance they are intolerant to helps most of all. Slings are a Godsend, tummy to tummy helps with a bit of pressure and warmth on the sore part, and keeping them upright for meals helps with the reflux so again lessens the pain.

Good luck with it all

Re. your children's intolerances - how were they diagnosed? Did your GP approve a test? We're getting to the point where we really need to know if there is something medically wrong first before we can even consider moving forward with his sleep patterns and self-soothing :-(

I resisted all notions that it was reflux until the health visitor came round to watch a feed and all the signs were obvious. (Signs of hunger, starting to feed, then breaking off in middle of feed to scream in pain, what we call 'thrutching', pulling legs up to tummy, etc).
We went to GP and then to consultant, we did a lot of trial and error with my diet to remove substances, we got drugs... went on for a while tbh. The intolerances were only firmly diagnosed when we could do trial and error with their diet, however. It's been a long journey.

@tiredanddesperate sorry, I know this is an old post but I could have written it myself - our 9 month old has the exact same symptoms and we are at our wits end trying to find out what is wrong. Did you ever get to the bottom of it and did sleep improve?

@Knowe we found soy to aggravate our lo. How’s yours doing now? Hope sleep has improved?