first i have to note a few things- i apologize for any grammer mistakes since english is not my native, and second this will be a really long post so sorry in advance.
ill have to start from the very beginning when i gave birth to my son, it was a natural birth where everything went pretty smoothly, thats the first time i noticed something different with my son, since he is my first i don't know how common or normal that is but he was very hard to console, the nurses would always call me to get him and feed him and advised me to give him formula since my breastfeeding milk didn't came yet (which obviously it won't for the first few days how i learned later) so..because he was crying so much they assumed he was hungry, so they kept telling me to feed him..one nurse called me and straight up told me "come pick him up i just can't get him to settle he won't stop crying even after eating" i came by held him and he seemed perfectly fine and he didn't cry anymore...he was checked by a doctor and everything was normal. now at home i thought getting him to sleep will be easy because thats what babies do - eat- burp - sleep- repeat but oh boy was i wrong....every time i tried to lay him in his crib he was crying hysterically...its hard to describe the whole routine..but at day time i would hold him in my arms most of the time and he would sleep there..but at night i would get him to sleep made sure he was well fed and burped and no matter what i did...the moment i lay him down 5 minutes later he would cry so loudly, the best i got was him asleep straight for half an hour..i was so exhausted and comnused and lost by the end of the month, after doctor check up were fine and nurses said its just what babies do- they cry i couldn't take it anymore and i decided to let him sleep with me. i had no energy anymore and i couldn't even think at that point, the change was so dramatic i couldn't even believe it, he nursed by my side , fell asleep and slept 6 hours straight at the first night, as i kept letting him sleep with me again and again i noticed how his behavior during the day changed too..he was calmer , and so much more happy and content, its like he turned to a different baby, before that every day was a battle, he was fussy, i wasn't able to go to the bathroom without him screaming as soon as i put him in the crib, walking out with the stroller was my biggest fear because he would scream all the way unless i would hold him, i can't describe how bad it was...and everything was already a challenge to me as it is without his constant crying. now fast forward at 6 months he is already a completely new baby, he is doing great, he is smiley he loves going out to walks in the stroller, he loves playing with toys and having books read to him, but one thing didn't change...the crib issue. sometimes i do manage to lay him to sleep there but only for an hour top. now...i wouldn't mind about that but lately he has learned how to crawl..and please don't judge me on the next thing...because its the most terrifying thing i have ever espirienced in my life..one night i was going to brush my teeth after he was already asleep in our bed, i would always leave him laying surrounded by a long pregnancy pillow and i would close the bottom part with a blanked and a large pillow so he wouldn't be able to crawl out, the edge of the bed next to him i would close of with his crib fixetaded in place next to it. and i was sure if he ever crawled out the crib would stop him. well i was very wrong , he somehow did manage to pass all that and he fell of the bed . we went to the ER and he was under supervision for 6 hours, thank god nothing happned, and we were sent home with instructions for home care and what to watch out for.
anyway its the third night already and im back to the days where i can't put him in his crib...tonight i thought ill try to just let him cry until he falls asleep but the screams are so loud and extreme, its as if he was tortured and beaten, he is screaming and shrieking so hard....my heart couldn't take it i let him fall asleep beside me again...and i just don't know what to do....it took me 5 hours to lull him to sleep and these whole 5 hours he slept only half an hour, my back hurts from rocking him and laying him in the crib just so i have to pick him up again to rock him and lay him down and repeat non stop, i tried everything i could but i just can't seem make it work...right now as i type this, he is sleeping beside me again as if nothing happened but i'm out of ideas. I'm so scared he might crawl out and fall again , and I'm exhausted since i barely slept the past few days. i'm wondering if there is something seriously wrong with him? he's not far from being 7 months old i seriously need some advice...or at least some kind words. and thanks to anyone who made it this far down this post!