Removing dummy at 18 months

[Firstbaby2019x]

On day 1 of going cold turkey. Little one struggling to self settle at nap and sleep times without the dummy and crying continually in the cot. We have given her an additional toy to cuddle. Looking for reassurance this phase will pass 🥴

No reassurance from me I'm afraid.

Dummy is your baby's source of comfort. Comfort a basic need for your baby, just as calories and hydration is, in my view.

Since dummy is established as baby's comforter, I think it cruel and unkind to remove it before your child has the emotional development to understand his emotions better - which is around preschool age.

If your concern is teeth - better instead limit dummy use to only when going to sleep. 10-15 minutes or so twice a day.

Unequivocally and unapologetic message from me is - give the dummy back to your baby

Just why? What’s the issue with an 18MO having one as long as it’s just for sleeping? They will have no idea why their source of comfort has been removed and it will mean disturbed sleep for everyone. I’d give it back and revisit getting rid in about a year when they will actually understand so you can do something like dummy fairy or giving it to a new baby in the family.

Ignore the other poster it will absolutely get better. I used shush pat and went in every few minutes when DS gave his up just after he turned 1. Once he had settled for the first sleep without it I knew he could do it and so I had more resolve that he would fall asleep eventually.

Yes he cried and yes it was a shit few days but I didn't have much choice as he was biting through new dummies no matter what the brand and that was obviously more of a risk to his health than crying. Not much option to leave him to develop the ability to comprehend .

Your dc trusts you and you have taken away their best comforter..

My dc all binned theirs themselves around 3. Never had one past a year old except at sleep times and car journeys!!
None have teeth or speech problems.
Ds slept 12 hours a night with his. Why would I have jeopardised that??

Why have you done this? Im sorry but i think you are being a little bit cruel, Its a comforter and your baby is too young to understand why they can't have it. If you want to wean them off it then do it slowly by not letting them have it when focused on playing etc during the day but are allowed it to nap or sleep at night.

I would let them keep the dummy for now. My dd loved hers but she kept it at the front of her mouth which meant her teeth came in very pronounced. Gave it up at 3 year old and teeth went back to normal. If it's a soother/comforter I would leave it 🙂

When I started getting concerned that DS wanted his in 24/7 we just limited it to naps and sleeps. When he woke and got up, We put the dummy in the cot ‘to wait’ then he’d come out.

Around 2.5yo a close friend had a baby so I asked DS if he thought he was grown up now and maybe the new baby would like the dummies. We popped them in a bag, I tipped off the friend to play along and we graciously handed over the bag when we saw her. I admit I did keep one back as an emergency but it was never needed. Friend binned the bag after a few weeks for me.

Agree with the other posters. Keep the dummy. Just for sleep (we also used it in the car on long journeys to keep him happy and calm).

We removed it, no problem just after he turned 2.5 when he could fully understand what was happening.

I agree with everyone else, unless there is a medical/health and safety issue give the dummy back. There is no point in putting yourself or the baby through it.

Also agree 2.5 to 3 years is better. Both of mine handed theirs over fairly happily at that age. 'I'm a big boy now, dummies are for babies mummy' that sort of thing. 18mo is just a baby, let them have it a bit longer.

@NuffSaidSam

I agree with everyone else, unless there is a medical/health and safety issue give the dummy back. There is no point in putting yourself or the baby through it.

The trouble with saying give it back is that we don't actually know why the OP wants to remove it. I had similar comments when I removed DSs as he was too little to understand however keeping them wasn't an option so we had to do something. Just saying give it back doesn't offer any practical help.

Let her have the dummy just for sleep.
Don't make it any harder for her, or you.
A lot of kids get rid of it through the day and just use for sleep. It's fine.

Just restrict the use to the bedroom or nap times and gradually wean off.
My DS loved his, eventually it was only while in bed he has it. He also chewed them and so his collection was whittled down to the last one. We vowed not to buy another and when the last one got punctured he popped it in the bin and said bye bye.
We thought it would be harder than that but he accepted it and then got attached to his teddy who previously got flung out of bed every time he was introduced.

Ime most people listen to the tuts of older relatives..
Ils were adamant ds didn't need his and used to take it off him. I just went and got him another one every time.

I think you should let lo keep it for now. It's their comfort and their self soothing.

I would probably only let them have it for sleep and as others say give it to dummy fairy when their older.

Unless there is a specific reason you want to remove?

@PinkWaferBiscuit

Ignore the other poster it will absolutely get better. I used shush pat and went in every few minutes when DS gave his up just after he turned 1. Once he had settled for the first sleep without it I knew he could do it and so I had more resolve that he would fall asleep eventually.

Yes he cried and yes it was a shit few days but I didn't have much choice as he was biting through new dummies no matter what the brand and that was obviously more of a risk to his health than crying. Not much option to leave him to develop the ability to comprehend .

👍🏻