13 month old please god when does this end?

[Etherealhedgehog]

So right now we have molars coming in, we're on day 10 of her third bug since the start of nursery and even before all of this she was starting to wake up at 4am - not necessarily up and ready to start the day, but awake and unable to get back to sleep.

We've recently started giving her a bottle when she wakes that early because we had noticed she was always starving first thing and was clearly ready to fall back asleep long before the 2+ hour wake window we had been leaving. A couple of days ago she woke at 3.45, had Calpol and a bottle and went back down til 5.30....bliss! (Literally - I used to think 5.30 was early. No longer...)

Today she woke at 3. Just gave painkillers but she was furious at being put back down so gave bottle. Will not go back down. Have been sat up with her nearly two hours. She's yawning her head off but every time I make moves to put her down she starts screaming furiously. Only Cocomelon will do.

She's great at getting herself to sleep and doesn't generally wake through the night but has always been completely incapable of getting herself back to sleep after about 4am (at least not without a significant break of awake time). Sometimes that cut off is even earlier.

Don't know what I want really, other than to hear if this sounds familiar to anyone and that you survived / how long it took them to get through it. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. We're in a one bed flat (which doesn't help), supposed to be househunting, haven't seen family or friends in ages due to never-ending nursery bugs, she's just been un-night-weaned which obviously feels like a massive backwards step - this honestly feels like the worst stage yet - harder than the newborn phase by far

@Etherealhedgehog
You have literally described my 14 month old and our life! Including living in a flat with people below and above. Luckily lots of kids in this block so not feeling too guilty.

Difference is DD is no where near getting her molars, she was very late with teeth so this will drag on for us.

She was previously sleep trained but not any more. It's so weird.... if she wakes at 3.47 she can get back to sleep but if she wakes up at four, that's it! Bizarre.

Anyway I've pushed back bedtime which I was reluctant to do as I value my evening with husband... it's working a bit but I read something that to take full effect you have to do it for at least ten days and it kind of resets them. So here's to hoping!

Last night was the worst night she's had in months, I've had a lie in while husband watches her, but it's her nap time now and she'll only day time sleep on me in bed, so as soon as I get out of bed any minute now I'll be taking her back it.... kind of restrictive! Anyway, every phase of sleep in the last 14 months has come and gone quickly and she's moved onto the next thing, she's had periods of excellent sleep and times of nightmarish sleep, so I know it's just about pushing through and keeping the faith. Solidarity!!!

@miltonj will be very interested to hear if the pushing back of bedtime works - like you I am reluctant to lose part of my evenings (and she's always knackered after nursery) but will soon get to the point where I'm willing to try this!

Oh god, the daytime nap thing sounds hard. Good luck (when she used to nap on me I used wireless headphones and watched A LOT of Netflix on my phone - but freedom is preferable).

Hopefully you're right and they'll be on to the next thing soon!

[quote saywhatwhatnow]@TheWomandestroyed he's 21months and breastfed, so then wants to be attached to me all night which I don't want to do anymore. Totally my choice so please don't judge, it's not working for me anymore to feed all/at all through the night. I find if hard to sleep and feed, I'm obviously happy to still feed on demand in the day. He eats well and has a big bedtime feed. If I ever do bring him in and don't feed him then he just larks about. Cosleeping isn't always the magic fix unfortunately.

@ThirdElephant he has 1-2 hours around 1pm so no don't think he's having too much day time sleep? [/quote]
Judge what?

[quote Etherealhedgehog]@miltonj will be very interested to hear if the pushing back of bedtime works - like you I am reluctant to lose part of my evenings (and she's always knackered after nursery) but will soon get to the point where I'm willing to try this!

Oh god, the daytime nap thing sounds hard. Good luck (when she used to nap on me I used wireless headphones and watched A LOT of Netflix on my phone - but freedom is preferable).

Hopefully you're right and they'll be on to the next thing soon![/quote]
I'll report back!! It's been about a week now and she is deffo waking slightly later but still not brilliant so I'll see what it's like in another week or so. It's actually quite nice having her up a bit longer in the evening as she actually gets to see her dad!

Yeah the boycotting naps unless they're on me, started when we moved country, so to start off with it was probably a comfort thing but has become habit now. If I try to put her in her cot she'll just wake and scream. I've tried to leave her to cry it out for a bit but she doesn't stop! Hoping she just grows out of it. Not even noise cancelling air pods are quiet enough for her though, she has such acute hearing, for small noises like that... but full on storms and she'll sleep right through it.... kids are weird!

Hope you have a better night tonight. I've calpolled my daughter up so hoping for a much more peaceful night but not holding my breath! X

Hope those currently in this have had better nights. We've been up since 4.15. She's exhausted but gets hysterically upset when I try to put her down. Fingers jammed permanently in mouth. I'm sure a lot of this is teeth - feels like it's been weeks now and we can feel them just under the surface - surely they must make an appearance soon!?

[quote Etherealhedgehog]@PanettoneSeason all good tips! I do think that overtiredness is a big part of it but she's in full time nursery and although they will give her a morning nap (and do) their schedule is set up for babies on one nap a day so the timings aren't great. I'm sure that's part of the problem, though tbf she's no better on weekends when she's on a proper two nap a day schedule (and gets more daytime sleep overall).

When she wakes earlier in the night we do exactly as you describe and she usually gets back to sleep pretty quickly. The challenge is after 4am when it just doesn't work. The longer we keep at it, the more frustrated she gets, and we end up with a solid hour of screaming before we give up and get her up. It doesn't help that we're in a middle floor flat, with people sleeping above and below - if I was less aware of that I might have more appetite for trying the noisy route but we've recently stopped trying for the full hour as we know it just never works at that time.

At some point I might try to cry it out, as a PP did, but not now while she's ill/teething, and we're all sleeping in the same room (one bed flat) so it will be particularly horrendous. I'm just desperately hoping this is a phase she'll grow out of before we get to that point

I know what you mean about routine - it's hilarious! DD likes to get her and our shoes to show it's time to go out to nursery (which is heartbreaking when she's off and I am instead taking her to the COVID test centre )[/quote]
@Etherealhedgehog Oh no! I hope covid tests were negative? We had to get DS tested a few months back and it was horrendous 😓

Definitely hard when she’s in nursery and their schedule runs differently 😓 hopefully she’ll properly drop to one nap sooner rather than later and be more in line with what they do 🤞🏼

Not sure if you’ve mentioned it already but how long does she actually nap for in the day? And what time is normal bedtime? What’s her bedtime routine?

They just go through so many phases at this age 😓 last night was one of our better nights, and I was still up for half an hour with DS at 1.30am and an 1h 15m at 3am but he’s still asleep now. Me on the other hand, I’ve been awake since I got him back down after the 3am wake 😴 DH is snoring and I couldn’t get back to sleep so I’ve don’t the laundry, hoovered the downstairs and made a pot of soup 🙈

@PanettoneSeason oh god the inability to get back to sleep is the worst - I hope you get a chance to nap later in the day, though well done for making soup, I don't think I would have had it in me

Bedtime is 7pm - she's exhausted by then but we can't really manage earlier, at least not unless we skip feeding her after nursery, which she seems to need (she has tea at nursery, then again at home, then milk so there's not much more I can do to fill her up to address the early morning hunger). Bedtime routine is a pretty standard bottle (recently dropped last breast feed, which didn't seem to phase her at all), bath, book and bed - she gets herself to sleep no problem, and gets herself back to sleep fine if she wakes in the night (rarely, unless she's ill). It's just the bloody 4am!

Naptimes has been quite variable recently but her default is about 80 mins per nap so on a two nap day at home she'd be getting not far off 3hrs. At nursery it sometimes seems less, which probably isn't helping.

I am desperately hoping that between teeth coming through and her getting a bit better able to deal with the nursery schedule this will sort itself out, but that cannot happen soon enough!

Covid tests all negative thank god, but nursery requires proof of a negative PCR every time they have one of the official symptoms, ie. every time she is sent home with a temperature....as we're currently in the start of nursery/catching all the bugs phase, that is a lot, and pretty horrendous as you say.

[quote Etherealhedgehog]@PanettoneSeason oh god the inability to get back to sleep is the worst - I hope you get a chance to nap later in the day, though well done for making soup, I don't think I would have had it in me

Bedtime is 7pm - she's exhausted by then but we can't really manage earlier, at least not unless we skip feeding her after nursery, which she seems to need (she has tea at nursery, then again at home, then milk so there's not much more I can do to fill her up to address the early morning hunger). Bedtime routine is a pretty standard bottle (recently dropped last breast feed, which didn't seem to phase her at all), bath, book and bed - she gets herself to sleep no problem, and gets herself back to sleep fine if she wakes in the night (rarely, unless she's ill). It's just the bloody 4am!

Naptimes has been quite variable recently but her default is about 80 mins per nap so on a two nap day at home she'd be getting not far off 3hrs. At nursery it sometimes seems less, which probably isn't helping.

I am desperately hoping that between teeth coming through and her getting a bit better able to deal with the nursery schedule this will sort itself out, but that cannot happen soon enough!

Covid tests all negative thank god, but nursery requires proof of a negative PCR every time they have one of the official symptoms, ie. every time she is sent home with a temperature....as we're currently in the start of nursery/catching all the bugs phase, that is a lot, and pretty horrendous as you say.[/quote]
@Etherealhedgehog I don’t envy all the PCRs 😓 I won’t be in a hurry to do that again 😬 Glad they’re all negative for you though!!

No change to nap unfortunately! Just about to head to work and working until 5.30 🤣 working all day tomorrow too then DH leaves tomorrow night to go back offshore so it’s back to juggling everything myself for 3 weeks until he returns!

We do a 7/7.30 bedtime too and follow the same routine as you. And like you, I can’t manage any earlier a bedtime as I’m not home from work until 6.10pm. So by the time we do bath/milk/bed etc 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only think I can think that may be affecting you DD is naps - just from our own personal experience with DS (all kids are so different though!). From about 10.5/11 months old I’ve been caping his naps because I found if he slept over a certain amount in a day then his nights were awful. He was doing split nights and was waking EVERY night from 2am-5am 😬 I was just about on my knees - I even posted on here asking for tips because it was so bad - especially with me being back at work and DH working away! Currently he has an absolute maximum of 2.5 hours daytime sleep (usually more like 2 hours). And he’s awake from all daytime naps by 3pm at the latest or else he wakes really early or does a split night. Does your DD nap late on in the afternoon when she does get 2 naps?

Oh @Etherealhedgehog - we're in the exact same boat! My DD started nursery in the last few weeks and is going through a phase of waking up really early.

I thought 5am was bad but yesterday was 4.30 and today was 3.30. Yesterday I had to give in and get her up but today she cried on and off for an hour and a half before eventually going back to sleep.

We can feel a tooth at the back of her mouth, it feels quite sharp but must be a molar. Plus she's been pulling her ear and rubbing her cheek so I assume it's that but it's been going on for ages! Plus she's picked up a cough and cold from nursery. I'm a bit at a loss of what to do.

I go back to work next week and I'm worried about how I'll cope, and I'm also worried she's not getting enough sleep overall. I suspect overtiredness is a big factor due to the nursery routine.

Anyway, sending you solidarity and I hope things improve soon!