Not a question just really fed up

[Liv316]

I’m just really really really fed up of my 14 month still not sleeping. I have my sisters hen do this weekend and my husband is having to come and stay at the hotel with him so I’m close because he wakes up all night and won’t settle for my husband. It’s embarrassing and I just want a bit of my life back where I can just enjoy an evening where he doesn’t wake up 5000 times. Just feeling very sorry for myself and wondering if it will ever end and he will sleepy better ever.

I mean this kindly, but he'll not settle for his dad because you're making yourself too available. You need to take some if your life back and this weekend seems like the perfect opportunity.

Gently sleep train

@Justmuddlingalong I know, we’ve tried him going in each time and still do but he just cries uncontrollably and doesn’t stop.

@mrssunshinexxx how? Any crying is just not my thing

Honestly, I'd leave them both at home. The baby won't stay awake for ever and he needs to learn to settle for his dad. He's perfectly safe and loved, he won't come to any harm. If he cries, your husband will be there to comfort him. If you go to him every time, he'll just keep crying until you're there. To develop, he needs to learn to deal with the unfamiliar. And after doing that for a few nights, you can then take turns and the baby will feel more secure with two people he feels safe with.

In fact, my first son was exactly like this and I had to leave him to go to work. My MIL was amazing! She just held him. She was very honest and said 'well, he cried most the day but I just held him and sang to him'. You should see the bond they have now.

@Liv316 nor mine . I did it at 6m it's going to harder for you at 14m as they can stand in cot etc I just decided how frequent I thought she needed to be bF through the night I went with 4 hourly and when she woke before this I just went in never spoke only shushed and patted her tummy gently until she settled taking my hand off in intervals but still shushing. It took 3 longgggg hard nights of persistence but she v quickly didn't even wake 4 hourly and slept through shes now 16m and sleeps 8-8am and gets woken at 8am it's the best parenting decision I made. She was instantly happier as was getting such good quality sleep. I've got a week old and I don't know how I would cope if I was up with both of them

@mrssunshinexxx Sorry to hijack this thread. I'm thinking of trying a similar approach with my 5.5 month old who is very reliant on feeding to sleep through the night...can I ask, was there a lot of crying on those 3 nights or was the ssshh/pat enough to keep your LO fairly calm? I have a feeling my DD will just keep escalating/getting more upset if I try this!

@Sleepymama285 honestly ? The first night she was sick she was that worked up and I felt awful so I got her out cuddled her and cleaned her up then my husband took over as I was sobbing I felt so bad but he said there was no point letting her get into that state to just stop now and I am so glad he made us persevere. She whinged abit first night after that initial episode but nowhere near like the hysterical sobbing at first she was obviously a quick learner some babies could well be a lot more persistent ?? The second and third night was fine nothing too bad at all x

@mrssunshinexxx thanks for your honesty, at least I know what to expect if we go down that route. So glad you got a positive outcome as that must have been so tough. My daughter is pretty vocal at the best of times so I'm already filled with dread at the thought of how she would react!

@Sleepymama285 you have to be ready to do it and commit IMO if you start. There was only one night that was v resting now she sleeps like a dream and gets woken at 8am every day. I have an 8 days old and what a difference/ help it is that my toddler sleePs and naps so well x

Leave them at home. Of course he will eventually sleep for dad when he's worn out Enough.