2 naps to 1 nap

[LGBirmingham]

Hi just looking for some advice of how others have handled this.

My ds is 11 months and wake windows are expanding. He generally takes two naps of roughly an hour. On a typical day if he rises at 7 I won't be able to get him to sleep at night until somewhere between 8 and 8:30 as he won't be tired enough.

It's fine at the moment but if he sleeps a bit later it really doesn't work. And if his wake windows expand any more then it won't work either as there won't be time for naps. If he goes to bed any later he'll subsequently wake later the next day.

He's definitely not ready for one nap yet. He's at nursery for two days a week and they can't get him down for his first nap there. He just won't go to sleep. So he just has one after lunch and he's absolutely shattered when I pick him up. It subsequently affects the nights by him either spending 13 hrs in bed (no sleep awards he still wakes in the night) or a very unsettled night where he wakes roughly every 1.5 hrs and has an early start.

When he's at home should I be looking to wake him in the morning to accommodate the two naps or should I be shortening the lengths of the naps?

Yes this age is a nightmare for naps and you will likely have some difficultly over the next few months whilst the transition takes place - unfortunately it takes this long. We are at 14 months and have worked with putting down for morning nap and waking up after 20-30 mins so it's like a power nap to get them through lunch. Then after lunch putting down for a longer nap and then waking them up by 3/3.30 to ensure tired enough for bedtime again. When the morning nap is skipped (usually at nursery) then bedtime is brought right forward to accommodate his overtiredness. Good luck and try to be flexible, there is no quick solution for this so be prepared to be adaptable with sleep and meal times for the next few months.

I’m already worrying about this dilemma with my 10mo! His wake windows have always been a little longer than average, the amount of times I spent 45mins in a dark room patting and shushing him to sleep because that’s when his wake window said he should be down, for him to be upset going to sleep and waking 40mins later because he just wasn’t ready vs. letting him play for those 45mins and putting him down then, when he would go off happily on his own and nap for longer! Loosely following 234 at the moment but it’s more 3/3.5/4 as he is just NOT tired enough after 2hrs in the morning! I can already see his wake windows stretching and I don’t really know where to go with it when the time comes that he can stay awake longer than he already does. Plus by that point I’ll be back at work and won’t be able to “monitor” (control) things so much! The only way I can imagine it working is shortening the morning nap. He already goes to bed between 8.00-8.30 and I don’t really want him going to bed any later and shortening his night sleep. Sorry, no advice really, it’s just odd that I’ve been worrying about this for a few days (I like to keep myself on my toes by worrying about everything in advance as much as possible 😂) and then seeing this thread, didn’t want to just read and run! X

If you need to limit naps, limit the morning one (to 45 mins), then encourage the second one to be longer.

@butterflycatcher yes I'm very used to being flexible. It wasn't until 9 months that he fully dropped to two naps. There was a point where it would alternate each day between 3 naps or 2 naps. I guess I just wasn't expecting this next stage to come about so quickly?

I really hate that we have to rush him to bed so quickly after nursery too but I guess it won't be forever? How long has it been going on for you?

@MinnieMouse92 yes I think these late bedtimes started for us around ten months too. It is hard to know where to go from here as they have to tolerate a lot of awake time to take just one nap. I think he manages it at nursery as there is so much going on. It would be a different story at home. It is hard relinquishing control to someone else. Not that I had loads of control anyway. He'll always resist napping for me as well, I'm just bloody minded.

@FATEdestiny I'm interested in why it should be the first nap and not the second to shorten? Generally speaking the first nap is usually more successful and less likely to be a short rubbish one. I guess I'm a bit scared to cut it short? Although yesterday I had to do just that so we could make our stay and play and he seemed fine. Was perhaps just ready for the second nap about 15 mins earlier than he would've been normally.

@LGBirmingham I know what you mean! It really is true that as soon as you settle them into something it’s time to change again. I think regarding the shortening of the morning naps vs. afternoon is because they can tend to have a longer wake window before bed but need that long nap before hand to tolerate that longer wake window, otherwise say they wake at 11am from morning nap and only have a short nap between then and bedtime, they’re more likely to go to bed overtired? Also might be easier to have a “set” bedtime if morning nap is shortened to accommodate a set time for afternoon nap. But all babies are different, I now tend to try and look at overall sleep in 24hrs aswell as the other bits and bobs of things are going a bit tits on certain days 😂

I’m sure Fate will be along to explain much better than me, I’ve probably got it all wrong so feel free to ignore me

First nap of the day is universally the easiest. In the transition towards 1 nap days though, you need baby's body clock used to having a single middle of the day nap - that's why this is the one to lengthen.

Another way to push towards 1 nap days is to move away from AM nap and PM nap, and instead push the morning nap as late as possible so that it becomes more of a late morning/early lunchtime long nap. Then add in a teatime powernap as needed. This often leads to difficulties at bedtime though.

Thanks for the replies @FATEdestiny and @MinnieMouse92 .

I think I will try going with shortening the morning nap as and when needed. I'm happy keeping the later bed time of 8/8:30 so it will only happen when he wakes later than 7 for the time being. When would you say it gets to the point that you just have to completely ditch the first nap? Also, not that I can do anything about it, but is it a major problem that he's only getting the one nap at nursery? In a weeks time when I'm back at work he'll be there for 4 days a week so it makes me wonder if we should entirely adjust to that routine and suffer the overtired evenings until he catches up?

Nap transitions tend to take about 2 months, give or take.

11 months is on the very young side, so might take longer. 18 months is around the average for this change.

For now at least, I'd keep 2-nap days when baby isn't at nursery. This allows baby to catch up on any missed sleep from the week, rather than building into an over-tiredness cycle.

@FATEdestiny thanks I will continue with the two naps at home. I agree 11 months seems very young to drop to one nap. I'm hoping that once he's at nursery for longer they may be able to get him down for that first nap too.

Hi @FATEdestiny, cutting the first nap down is working very well and has resulted in slightly longer and easier to achieve second naps on the days that happens.

Just another quick question. When he does eventually fully change to one nap it seems that a lot of people are aiming for a routine like this-
7am rise,
12-2 nap,
7pm bed

I'm confused as currently the wake windows expand throughout the day with the awake times being 3 hrs, nap, 3.5 hrs, nap, 4/4.5 hrs (depending how tired) bed.

Do babies not still need a longer last wake window when they're on one nap?

As long as the one nap is somewhere in the middle of the day, parents often set the timing with what works best for them since the exact split of AM/PM is usually less vital.

Interesting thanks for responding again. It will be nice to not be calculating when the immediately be calculating when the next sleep is as soon as he wakes I must admit

Hello, me again. So I'm still in this nap transition. I just wondered if anyone had any advice for how you know when it's time to bite the bullet and just go for one nap?

I've got to the point where I'm regularly waking little one from both naps and it can result in him being very cranky.

Sorry, I should say that he's 14months now and they only ever managed 1 nap at nursery. He manages those days much better now but still requires an early bedtime of 6:30. The nursery days often still lead to more unsettled nights with false starts and sometimes a period of around an hour of him being awake and desperately wanting go back to sleep and getting very frustrated.

Have a look on Instagram at calmandbrightsleepsupport. They've honestly saved my sanity this week!!! X

When my lo is at nursery, we have 1 nap on these days. At home we have 2 nap days. We're on holiday currently and so we have done 1 nap day. She's too interested in everything like she is at nursery.

Tbh I will go with what she needs when we get back home. If she's getting whingy, I will put her down for sleep in the morning. I'm in the same position as you were a few months ago.

From what I read, it's pushing that nap forward and having an early bedtime until lo gets used to it. Or have very busy mornings. Most people have said takes about a week once you decide on one nap.

I don't have Instagram so it won't let me click on much.

How old are your LOs?

My lo is a year on 1st march

What is your nap routine ATM?

It's usually a half hour nap in the morning 3.5hrs after waking. And a longer one in the afternoon about 2.5hrs later for up to 1hr and a half. Then he goes to sleep at night around 7. Wake up time is usually between 6-6:30 but the one nap days at nursery can throw us so off kilter it's hard to give you exact times.

I used to let him nap a bit longer in the day and go to sleep at 8 at night and he would start the day later. It suited us. But I wondered whether the difference between bed times on nursery days and home days was contributing to a period of very unsettled nights so I tried to make the bedtimes more consistent. But also now if the morning nap is 45mins or longer he can stay awake for another 4 hrs which makes it unfeasible to be anything more than 30 mins anyway.

@ChittyBang1987

My lo is a year on 1st march

Oh congratulations on surviving the first year. Yes that makes sense that you'd be where we were when I posted this first of all. I would say ds's massively improved when I fist went back to work but then he had 4 ear infections and 8 teeth in a 2 month period! Along with routine chaos. Now he sleeps alright on home days but, more often than not, badly on nursery days.

Thank you 😊 yes I'm definitely there. It's like one nap is not enough, but two naps are too much.

What I have read on mumsnet is that it is the hardest transition; 2 naps are too much, but one isn't enough.

When I have read things online , that morning nap needs to be pushed forward. So perhaps do your morning breakfast, etc. Then when gets whingy, if way before lunch, give a big snack, then put them down for a nap and let them sleep as long as possible, then do a late lunch. Then, there is no sleep for the rest of the day. I seen some Los do 11am till 130 pm, then are OK to bedtime. It depends on your lo, i guess.

@LGBirmingham Hey. I know this thread is old but can I ask how the transition went in the end and how you made the jump? I have the same issue with my 14mo and nursery throwing us off kilter all the time, making it hard to be consistent with any changes.

Hi @BaconBap88, I basically just followed @FATEdestiny 's advice. It was spot on in terms of the nap transition, I started capping the morning nap and gradually reducing it until it was only like 10 mins and then dropped it entirely.

He never did take two naps at nursery and for ages his one nap was short, like an hour or often less. I used his mood when he got home as an indicator of when to drop the morning nap completely. Eventually he was happy and still wanted to play after nursery instead of looking like a zombie and spending the evening screaming. Coincidently when he was actually ready to be on one nap his sleep at nursery magically increased to 2-2.5 hours and everyone was much happier all round.

Just to prepare you we now we have the opposite problem with nursery, which is them being very resistant to drop his nap there and him going to bed very, very late on nursery days. Thankfully they will cap his nap though, which I know some of my friend's nurseries won't do. But I'm much more chilled as a parent now so I just go with the flow and we have a late dinner and watch loads of tv and generally hang out on nursery evenings. He's potty training so I don't really want him getting exhausted and emotional at nursery as he has a lot to think about and I want it to remain a positive experience for him.

BTW mines was 14.5 months when we basically dropped to one nap. Sometimes he'd still have two if he woke up really early but that was rare. Hopefully yours will be ready soon.