6 months old is a whole other struggle! Please tell me I'm not alone.

[thisfridayfeeling]

I need to offload to strangers. I’m burnt out and don’t know what to do. I know these things are all a phase and what is my “problem” now wont be my “problem” in a couple of months, just like my “problem” now wasn’t the one I had a couple of months ago. Oh how I wish things were like they were a couple of months ago! I had so much more sleep! Though if you’d have told me that a couple of months ago I’d have slapped you in the face.

My 6 month old won’t sleep at night unless she is attached to my boob. Constantly. No amount of holding, cuddling, shushing, patting or Dad (much to his disappointment) works. She wants to sleep in her cot with a boob. All night long. This isn’t an exaggeration I promise. I’m exhausted. I have no time to myself in the evenings. Woe is me I know. But on a serious note, sitting in a dark room by myself all evening is starting to really get to me. I sometimes lie there crying which I’m sure is not good for my little girl to experience but I’m so lonely and isolated. I just want to sit downstairs with my partner, watch a bit of TV and maybe enjoy something to eat for once. I’m not asking for a whole night without a get up. I’m realistic. Just an hour would be bliss. Does that make me a bad Mum?

She doesn’t do it for daytime naps which are mainly in the car or bouncer if we’re at home. I feel like I’ve done something drastically wrong to cause this. It hasn’t always been this way so I have no idea how I ended up here. We were getting solid chunks of sleep but that’s a distant memory now with her waking up nearly every 30 - 45 minutes. Tonight for example, she’s been asleep for 2 hours but she’s already woken up 4 times. Dad is up there now with her just to give me a break. I was starting to think maybe she needs to drop her 3rd nap but on the days where she hasn’t had it, night time is no different.

I’m just looking for someone to tell me it’s vaguely normal for babies to go through this or offer some solidarity? I know there’s no magic cure or answer so I’m not looking for one. I just needed to vent and speak to people in a similar situation. Literally ALL of my friends are formula feeding and apparently have babies that are sleeping through.

Solidarity! I'm in a similar situation. My baby will be 6 months next week and since just before 4 months her sleep has been shocking. She had a bad cold and on antibiotics for a week but the sleep regression was bad before that.
She's great with naps and cab do 3 hrs but I'm considering cutting it back. They do go through a growth spurt around 6 months and if you add the experience of weaning, trying to roll and teething it is a minefield for the poor babies. No advice but you're not alone.

I had totally awful sleep at 6m for both my children (including one that was ff). It eventually improved, but it could be a matter of weeks, months or years depending on the child. Newborn sleep is often not the worst point. You have my sympathies, its incredibly hard.

@thisfridayfeeling mine sleeps fantastically well during the day, I put her down drowsy after breastfeeding her. She makes a few noises and drifts off for between 2-3 hours. Night time is something else. She goes to sleep but doesn't stay asleep. Our day today:
7:50 wake
9:30 nap
11:30 wake
2pm nap
2:40 wake (woken up by school run)
4pm nap
5pm wake
8pm bed
8:50pm awake 😱
9:15 back in bed and it continues 😂

Baby is associating milk with sleep which you need to remove. Comforter/dummy or other techniques such as PUPD/patting/Ferber?
This isn’t going to be an easy one I’m afraid.
My DC has always been an awful sleeper and only Ferber worked for us but temporarily and it was too traumatic to repeatedly do it every 2 weeks. We ended up co sleeping at 11 months out of sheer desperation and we’ve had a full nights sleep since

We had such a hard time at 6 months! I've heard it's something to do with some developmental leaps and perhaps starting solid food etc, but it is so hard.

I follow Heysleepybaby on Instagram, and she helped us SO much, like turned our lives around 😂😅, I really recommend having a look at her page she got some amazing advice on sleep associations and how to layer them and she's NOT a sleep training page!

https://instagram.com/heysleepybaby?utmmedium=copyy_link

Check your sticking for awake windows for naps. Don’t drop the 3rd nap yet - no way!
Highly recommend trying the ferber technique or if that fails just have her downstairs asleep on you then co-sleep.

My second baby was still like this at TEN MONTHS. Just would not be put down. I ended up embracing it, got a comfy chair, watched tv on my phone with headphones, ended up with a floor bed and cot attached (then not for when I realised she was never in it!!!). Yes it felt like a bloody long time but slowly slowly I could creep out, husband could hold her etc etc. I appreciate it feels awful at the time but they will grow out of it eventually I promise!

No advice but sending solidarity. I'm in exactly the same situation with my 5.5 month old. Would love to have just an hour to myself in the evenings, but am also spending the whole evening sat in a dark room feeding! It's pretty soul destroying at times but we will get through this. I take solace in the fact that at least I can scroll on my phone/come on mumsnet to moan!

For those of you living this- do your babies have other comforters - dummies or blankies for example? When they are waking up can you see any clear cause? I’m expecting my first and the thought of seriously prolonged lack of sleep terrifies me! X

My baby doesn't have (refuses to use soothers etc) She sucks her thumb tho.
So last after falling asleep at 9, she woke at 1am change and back to bed at 1:30, up for a quick feed at 5:30 and up for the day at 7:30. So last night wasn't too bad.
When she slept from 9:30-1:30 I couldn't sleep, so typical!
She's showing signs of being able to sleep for longer so I'm thinking of putting her in her own room soon.

@sjxoxo there's a developmental growth around 4 months, then 6 months, then 9 months, it never bloody ends 😂
Mine is trying to roll over and also teething. We're starting solids soon and I expect her sleep to get worse before getting better, due to her digestive system getting used to the new food. Now tbh some babies sleep through breastfed or bottle, mine just don't. She was averaging 4 hrs straight sleep at 3 months and did 8 hrs twice. But 4 month sleep regression put an end to that. It's just a phase and will pass but when you're in the thick of it can seem endless.

For those of you living this- do your babies have other comforters - dummies or blankies for example? When they are waking up can you see any clear cause? I’m expecting my first and the thought of seriously prolonged lack of sleep terrifies me! X

Yes, other comforters, other sleep cues. You get used to being a bit tired all.the time tbh.

6 month old who's gone to pot here too so sending solidarity. I Co sleep to get a decent nights sleep as she'll roll off the boob when she's done, will yours do that?

@sjxoxo you get used to it unfortunately. Mine doesn't care for comforters, I understand tbh why would you want a cold, plastic nipple substitute, or a bit of cloth when you could have a real cuddle

This terrifies me as someone who plans to go back to work at 6 months (baby due January). Thoughts and love, OP!

@QuiltedHippo 🤣🤣

@mishmashed it’s so nice to hear you’re going through something similar, although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone haha! Hopefully it doesn’t last too long or get worse! How do you easily count how many times you get up in the night?! I've given up doing that. Even if I glance the time on my phone, by the morning I've forgot haha.

@redcart21 she definitely is but only at night time. We have tried shush & pat and unfortunately she won’t take a dummy. I’m not too sure what Ferber is sorry? We also co sleep but it currently doesn’t feel like it’s getting me more sleep. I’m sure it is though in the long run.

@nousernamehere01 thanks for the recommendation! I will definitely have a look at that page.

@marigoldmoonstone we’re not actively trying to drop the 3rd nap but sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be a good time for it. For example, yesterday she woke around 8:15. 1st nap by 10:30 for 30 mins. 2nd nap by 1pm for 2 hours. Then she was being bathed and getting ready for bed by half 5, asleep by 6ish. Should we be fitting in a 3rd nap regardless of what time it is and then have a later bedtime?
Do those wake windows sound appropriate? They do differ each day. Sometimes in the morning she can be ready for a nap an hour after waking up. It just depends on her really. If that happens and if she gets up earlier, we most likely will have a 3rd nap.
We have tried having her downstairs with us until she goes to bed but now at this age, she’s too nosey and sleeps even worse.

@quiltedhippo haha yes she does sometimes just roll herself off the boob. Sometimes I think it’s so rude! Atleast stick around for a cuddle but nope! That’s when I try to leave. 100% with you on the plastic nipple. Why would you want that when you can have a nice warm snuggle. I know which I’d prefer!

@sjxoxo and @sociallydistained you might get a good sleeper, you never know. I think it’s pot luck. If not, you do get used to it, it’s true. You’ll be amazed on how little sleep you can function on.

@sociallydistained I was also planning on being back at work by 6 months. I'm not and it's not even the lack of sleep that's the reason so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

@sjxoxo also, there's no clear cause for the waking.
Sometimes babies just wake at the end of their sleep cycle and need help to get back to sleep if they're not yet connecting sleep cycles seamlessly. Although that could be bullshit as I am clearly not an expert!

I have a 5 year old and 2 year old and without a doubt 6 months is the worst for sleep.

@thisfridayfeeling I'm trying to find a pattern and it makes me feel like I'm in control 😂
With regards your baby's nap, I would put her down for another nap at say 4:15/4:30 for about 30/45 mins if she wakes at 3. That way bedtime will be around 7:30 ish. For us today our routine is:

7:35 wake up
9:45 first nap wake 11:40
1:40 second nap wake 2:25
3:50 third nap, should wake at 5 or I'll wake her.
7:50/8 bedtime (hopefully she'll sleep 😂

Re boob in mouth - have you tried the thing where you just don't let her go to sleep with the nipple in her mouth. Pull back or break the latch. If she complains or stirs, put it back in but then pull back again if it looks like she's drifting off. Repeat over and again until she goes to sleep without the nipple in her mouth.

@thisfridayfeeling did I mention that this is my third child 🙈
My first had allergies, reflux, eczema and tongue tie. It was a baptism of fire literally 🤣
He woke every 2 hours until 21 months and I don't know how I managed to work.
Second was better I think, so I decided to give my body a rest and my career a revival.
Both kids were 8 and 5 when third was born and so far she's been the best sleeper current phase excluded 😅

I have never gone back to work at 6 months as I find they're forever on the boob at that age and the nine month regression nearly killed me after my first so I try not to go before 9 months. I don't want to express when I go back to work so I'll be home for the year.

I did try to make sure that she doesn't fall asleep on the boob. She's in a next to me so when I'm really tired I feed her lying down. Compared to my other two she hard to feed lying down and sleeps better when I put her back in the next to me. I just need to find out how she can fall back to sleep when she wakes although a part of me thinks she's hungry.

Have you got the wonder weeks app? Wk 29-30 (I think) they go through separation anxiety and they start to realise they're a separate being from you so become ever so clingy etc. They alai go through another growth spurt and start to burn through calories as they are moving around more learning to crawl stand etc. Have you started weaning?

@WheresMyCycle they're forever going through a leap in that wonder weeks app 🤣