8 week old will not be put down

[Samanabanana]

My 8 week old will only sleep on me. Occasionally he'll sleep on DH. I've tried everything to get him to sleep somewhere other than me- or just be put down awake while I make a cuppa/have a pee etc.- a moses basket, a next to me crib, co sleeping next to me in bed, three different types of swings, a baby play gym, a sleep nest, a blanket on the floor. If I pop him in the pram and rock him to sleep he wakes up as soon as the motion stops. Same after a walk in the park. Will obviously sleep in the car but that doesn't help my sleep

He just about tolerates his bouncy vibrate chair while I have a shower. I've tried feeding him to sleep lying down (ebf). Putting him down awake but drowsy, transferring him when he's deeply asleep. Nothing works! We can't carry on with him sleeping in my arms all night as it's not safe. My first DC could be put down to sleep anywhere so this has come as a bit of a shock. My eldest did have really bad reflux but this was managed using gaviscon. I wondered if silent reflux could be causing the issues maybe? As when sleeping on me he's not sleeping flat on his back and maybe that's the issue? Is there another trick I'm missing? Will he still be sleeping in my arms when he's a teenager? Help please!

Could it not just be wind, rather than reflux?

@girlmom21 he is a windy baby but is always well winded after a feed. Though it is harder to get a burp out of him at night for some reason!

Could you try safely raising the bed at one end (I think there must be some guidance on this depending on the bed you use)

Will they sleep in the bed with you? If you set up for safe co-sleeping then you might have a temporary solution.

In all honesty though, we bought a snoo smart sleeper. It was horrendously expensive but it got our baby sleeping and I have not regretted it for one minute!

Lots of newborns put their parents through this ! Being that intense, sounds like he might be colicky or have bad reflux. You can try slanting his bedding a bit to help with this ?

Aside from that, are you breastfeeding ? My son had a phase of only sleeping atop me for a while when he was tiny, and I found that I could have him fall asleep while breastfeeding. I would just lie next to him (co-sleeping cot), feed him and quietly split when he was asleep.

I know some mums say you shouldn't do that because then they get in the habit, which is true to some extent. But at least I slept in peace ! I did that for a loooong time (until 8 months old maybe ?) and then weaning came around. By then ofc sleeping independently wasn't an issue anymore so it worked out for me.

Sadly won't even sleep in my bed next to me, he has to be on me which is mot a long term solution and I worry about how safe that is! I'll have a look at a snoo smart sleeper. I'm happy to throw money at the problem if it solves it

Yes we ebf. I've managed to feed him to sleep just now and he's lying on the bed rather than me which is progress. But as soon as I move he opens his eyes!

I'll have a go at raising one end of his crib, that is a good idea!

DS was like this. I generally did his naps in a wrap/sling on me. He started to tolerate naps on his car seat on buggy but never slept in the pram. Managed to transition him to napping in cot around six months when his naps increased from thirty minutes to two hours. I got him to sleep in sling and then transferred him to for. Before he started longer naps this was impossible as he was just cat napping. DH then got him to fall asleep in cot once I went back to work when he was seven months.
Once he could roll properly he started sleeping on his tummy so I suspect if I’d put him down on tummy he might have slept but it’s not recommended when little.
He was also a terrible night time sleeper and we co slept from around eight weeks. Before then I would feed him to sleep wait twenty minutes and then put him down. He often woke though. So eventually we go slept once I felt he had good head control.
Sorry this isn’t what you want to hear but it will get better eventually.

We threw money at it and went from a 2 hour sleeper to 8 hours! She's amazing now!

My youngest was like this.

I used a sling for the daytime. At least I had a hand free to make some lunch etc.

At night we coslept. She would only sleep if she could feel me next to her.

It worked for us and it doesn't go on quite so intensely for very long.

Well the snoo sleeper looks incredible!

I suspect if I put him on his tummy to sleep he would sleep better but I don't want to risk it. I don't know what is more dangerous though, him sleeping on his tummy or him sleeping on me and me falling asleep! He sleeps brilliantly in the sling because he's close to me. It's just getting him to sleep elsewhere! He won't let my DH put him down either. I'd be happy if he would accept co sleeping in my bed. I just need to keep trying I guess! Harder when you already have an older DC and I don't want to risk waking him up with a crying baby

If hes windy
Give infacol and wind before feeding
Try to feed before he starts crying/ asking for a feed as this will make him gulp air down
Check your supply. If you have a fast let down he may be gulping to keep up with the milk which will also cause him to take alot of air in. You may need to express for a minute before feeding so its not as fast

If suspected silent reflux, make an appointment with doctor/ health visitor hold him upright for half an hour after, avoid bouncy chairs, car seats and slings as this will squash his stomach. (My son was the same, i know its frustrating sitting for half an hour after each feed but it meant he slept so much better!)

Wind again before lying him down. Try to not feed half an hour before sleep so he has time to digest the milk- this will get easier as he gets older

Sadly I think some are just like this. My DD always slept glued to my side and wouldn’t be put down at all (she’d just wake up). Numerous people tried to oh her down - older relatives zealously tried stuffing her into cots, Moses baskets, prams and swings - they never succeeded. Except to make DD associate the Moses basket with instant wakefulness (which was handy if you never needed to wake her up). We used to call it the wake-up basket

I had this with my first and second baby. By the time baby number three came along I knew exactly what to do.
You don't have to spend lots of money on a fancy co-sleeper. I've just bought a Maxi-Cosi Iora for DC4, due soon. It tilts just like it more expensive counterparts.
The other thing that I couldn't be without in a RedCastle Cooconababy.

Have you tried warming the cot/basket with a hot water bottle before transferring him in? We have had success with that, albeit at night time only, day time naps are still either on me or in the pram/sling.

Wake up basket

We've tried the hot water bottle, having the crib sheet smell like me, etc. I'll have a look at some of those recommendations, thanks guys.

I had written off reflux, DC1 suffered badly with it, the main symptoms he had being projectile vommiting and dropping weight centiles. Baby is not vommiting much but does have all the symptoms of silent reflux so I'll speak to the GP. No idea if he is tracking his weight centiles or not as there's no drop-in weigh sessions any more due to covid

Hey @Samanabanana how is the sleeping going ? This morning I asked my 4yo from a kiss and a hug before he left for school with his dad and he straight up said "no"

That made me think about when he was a tiny thing clinging to me like a tick to a dog and I thought of sharing this with you hahaha

for*

DS1 was like this (DS2 nowhere near as bad). I was convinced there had to be a ‘reason’ but I think it was just how he liked to sleep!

I eventually found the sleepyhead worked for us for night time, as long as I slept right next to him, resting my head on the edge of the sleepyhead. Wasn’t an overnight miracle, it just got gradually better. I know the sleepyhead isn’t recommended for overnight sleep, but I felt it was preferable to sleeping with him on my chest.

FWIW now they are a few years older DS1 is a rock-solid sleeper, has been since about 18 months, and DS2 who was a better baby still wakes at night aged 4!

I’m having the exactly same thing with my 9 week old, especially during the day, but I have to say she has got better. Weeks 5 & 6 were horrific and I got absolutely no sleep.

People always suggest safely co sleeping on here but my little one wants to nap on me, not next to me! I got so desperate one night I wrapped a thin scarf round us both and tied it so she could sleep on my chest and I could sleep too

@mirabelle04 I have to bribe my 5yo for a hug and a kiss these days

He was diagnosed with silent reflux, the gaviscon definitely helps him to feel more comfortable but has not improved sleep. New tactic is we both lay on our sides sleeping opposite each other and he sleeps with one boob in his mouth and occasionally that boob gets swapped for the other

I comfort myself in knowing he won't sleep on me forever. Hopefully.

I feel your pain, we have a 7 week old that just loves being held. She will do a 3-4 hour stretch in the next to me (in a sleepyhead) at night but the other 21 hours are mummy's arms.

If he likes motion have you tried a Rockit? We have found that useful. Can get one 2nd hand on eBay.

My grandson was like this.
After exhausting all sleep position options he was diagnosed with silent reflux. Gaviscon was prescribed and helped.

I have also had surprising success with side feeding in bed and her just falling asleep next to me in bed with a boob in her mouth. I'm not sure why, but it does seem to work!

@SomethingBeginningWithX solidarity! I have taken to going to bed at 9pm after baby has had a decent feed and leaving him with DH to try and get a couple of hours in undisturbed. The side sleeping/feeding is definitely my most successful method to date though!

The poco hammock was brilliant for this with my last one. It was bit pricey but it was amazing. The hammock is on a spring so it never really stops moving, swaying and they are on a slight incline so they are nor lay flat

You can get them second hand much cheaper.