I’ve posted about my DS’ sleep before and this board saved my sanity when he was 8 months old so I’m hoping for some help again!
Brief background, terrible sleeper from 4 month regression, co sleeping feeding all night, with habit stacking and advice from here got him falling asleep in his own cot and staying in there all night, by 10/11 months he was reliably sleeping through most of the time, life was good again.
Over the last month or so things have slowly got worse and worse again and I’m not sure what needs to change. I basically nightweaned at 8 months by doing dream feeds but any wake ups he was resettled but night feeds have crept back in after some illnesses. I think this might be the crux of the problem because now we are back to a situation where every time he wakes in the night he wants boob, nothing else will do, all the settling methods we used to use like bum patting and back rubs just make him absolutely furious and he won’t entertain my husband. This was fine when it was 1 or even 2 quick wake ups a night, but we’ve had a few nights where he’s been up every hour, and some where he wouldn’t settle after 3/4 am. But then also we get some nights he sleeps through, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it!
We’ve obviously given calpol and checked for any discomfort but it does seem like he’s just stirring more and looking for extra comfort. I’m really struggling with all the wake ups being on me again, I’m a teacher and it’s affecting my work and I have a long commute across a busy city centre. DH thinks, and I’m starting to agree, that stopping breastfeeding is the only way he’s going to break that association at night. I think I’m fine with this, DS only feeds morning and bedtime (and all bloody night) and I’m getting to be done with it to be honest, I’ve loved breastfeeding but I never particularly wanted to breastfeed a toddler. Question is, how do we get him to accept no boob at night now? He does stay with grandparents and is fine when he knows I’m not there I think. Does DH just go in and accept it might take hours? Should we offer a little bit of milk in a bottle to bridge the gap? For info he will not co sleep, I’ve tried bringing him into our bed on rocky nights he just thinks it’s a game now and starts laughing and trying to play! He doesn’t walk yet but has started standing independently so I do wonder if that development is also having an impact. I don’t expect him to not wake up at night, I don’t mind him not sleeping through I just want to be able to share the wake ups.
Thank you for reading I’m very tired so this is probably incredibly rambling!