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Sleep

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4 year old sleep

7 replies

yellowandgrey · 15/11/2021 07:12

So we’ve always had to help DS get to sleep. Over the years it’s taken less and less of us eg we used to have to sing and rub his back etc and gradually we’ve stopped and now just have to lie next to him in his bed. He goes to sleep in minutes usually so that’s not really a problem for us

The problem is he never sleeps through. He always comes into our bed and he’s getting so big (we also have his 18mo sister in with us so it really is a tight squeeze) and I’m so uncomfortable and hanging off the edge. We are in the process of transitioning DD into her own room and honestly she’s doing better at staying asleep than he is.

He either wakes for the day at 3AM or kicks and elbows us all night long in our bed sometimes from as early at 1AM. It’s really having an affect on us and is also stunting his sisters transition into her own room cause we’re just so tired it’s sometimes easier just to keep her in with us if it means we’ll get some sleep.

So any advice? How can I get him to stay in his own bed all night? Especially during the night because he gets really upset sometimes and screams and cries which I don’t want to wake his sister and he is petrified of the dark which makes it harder, even coming from his room to ours at night scares him

Side note: we use night lights, he still has a little comforter which he loves dearly and is in a pretty good bedtime routine

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onepotatotwopotatothreepotato · 15/11/2021 17:19

Omg what happens on the days he wakes at 3, does he stay awake all day or have a nap? Is he at school yet?

yellowandgrey · 15/11/2021 17:44

It’s horrible!! He’s still in nursery so thankfully it’s not a huge deal if I’ve got to keep him off and I’ll just have him home with me which is okay as I only work a couple days of the week at the moment

If he’s up as early as 3 he’ll fall asleep usually if we’re out in the car at some point during the day and if it’s 5am or later I usually try my hardest to keep him awake so he goes down okay at bedtime

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Namechangesagain · 16/11/2021 10:40

The problem is he's waking up and you're not there after being there when he fell asleep. I suggest you look at the gradual retreat method to reduce the intervention he needs. Also reward charts for going to bed/ staying in bed work well with this age group

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/11/2021 10:45

Sorry but I honestly believe at this age and stage it's tough love.
He cannot come into your bed, keep returning him to his room with little to no discussion- you can explain to him before bedtime this is the new routine and he has to stay in his room. Be prepared for some hellish nights, lots of tantrums but you need to break the cycle, he goes to school next year, wont be able to nap and sleep will be vital. If he does have bad night, don't encourage naps, a short one if absolutely necessary, but try and have a low key, quiet day at home the day after.

yellowandgrey · 16/11/2021 11:46

Thank you for your advice. I actually had a big talk with him about it and how this is mum and dads bed and this is his bed and he stayed in his bed all night last night! Woke once for a drink of water but stayed in his own bedGrin

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/11/2021 12:05

yay...maybe not as traumatic as I thought

yellowandgrey · 16/11/2021 13:32

It was possibly a fluke! We’ll see how the rest of the week goes, there will absolutely be a tantrum or two in there I’m sure

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