11 month old, not sleeping well since birth, please help I can't take much more

[JodieG1]

Ds2 wakes 4ish times a night (classing night as between about 11pm and 6am) and all through the evening, about every hour or so and feeds for 30 mins at a time. I'm still bf. I really want to carry on.

He often wakes mid-evening and stays awake for over an hour, he's up now after waking 3 times since 7.15pm. He's now playing and walking about.

Me and dh both try to keep him asleep, dh holds and rocks him and I do the same plus feed him and nothing works. He'll go down upstairs and then a few mintues later wake up, sometimes longer but it's becoming unbearable.

I'm totally exhausted waking so much in the night for 11 months and looking after dd (5) and ds1 (just 4) too.

I co-sleep, bf and am not looking to cc at all but I need to do something. Dh is annoyed and him getting annoyed at the situation makes me feel worse about it, maybe I could just about cope otherwise but I can't now. He even just said to me, "Well you wanted him" I know he's just irritated but what a crap thing to say.

Ds2 is a lovely and amazing little boy and I love him so much but I just wish he'd sleep! He's never slept for longer than 4ish hours in a row.

I know this post is a long one so thanks if you got this far.

Thanks, I'll look at the link.

QSS - I see what you're saying but some babies will need to feed during the night still even at 12 months. I'm training to be a bf couselellor at the moment so I realise that too, makes it all the more difficult.

Then why not let your partner lift him out of bed once during the night, give him to you, and carry him back to cot straight after.

That's what we do but when he takes him back up ds2 wakes up a min or two after.

My ds2 is 1 next week and woke in the night (3-4 times a night towards the end) until a few weeks ago. Then he wasn't that interested in milk during the day. One night dh tried to help me by doing the first of his night feeds with a bottle. He wouldn't take it and went back down 'til the 2 am feed. And then he woke again at 4:30. So all as a normal night apart from the fact that he hadn't had one of his feeds. So the next night I went on strike and after a couple of weeks he was regularly sleeping through (one and a half - two weeks now). It's wonderful! He sleeps better during the day now too because he's going down for naps with a full tum.

Jodie, is your HV any use? Have you tried talking to her about this? When we had our sleep problems here the HV suggested that in conjunction with us following the advice from the sleep team they would arrange with somebody from homestart come and babysit our kids in our home so we could have a nap for an hour or two.

Both the hv and the gp were both adamant that the way to do it, both for the sanity, mental health and welfare of the mum as well as all the benefits unbroken sleep has for the baby, was following the method below.

So, I am asking you this, without in any way disrespecting your breastfeeding councillor training: Do you prefer to keep up the night feeds because the baby needs it, or becaus you need it, as it is the easiest way out?

I dont mean to sound harsh, but if baby gets suficcient nourishment in the day, baby wouldnt need to sleep at night.

And to echo my gp: Quint, if your baby spends her nights feeding, no wonder he is eating little in the day, you make sure he doesnt need to eat in the day by keeping up the night feeds! The moment you stop the night feeds, your baby will show renewed interest in food.

But I guess you know all this, with your training, it is just that it is such a pain to get back on track! Espcially when it is regards to your own child!

Health professionals seems so reluctant to approach other health professionals sometime. But sometimes, it is better to go to your health visitor and say: Help me, my baby will not sleep, please help me find a solution that will work or our family! The health visitor may come up with something less tortuous than the below. However, it worked for us because my dh was 110 % commited, and he took all the night turns. I let him off the hook with a lot of others things in the daytime, though, lol!

durr,

"I dont mean to sound harsh, but if baby gets suficcient nourishment in the day, baby wouldnt need to sleep EAT at night. "

of course....

Thanks again. I hadn't really even thought of going to see my hv, I've never even spoken to them other than getting baby weighed. My ds2 does feed quite a lot during the day as well as meals so I do wonder if he really does need the milk at night still. I'm happy to keep feeding him if he needs it but I really need him to sleep better. I think I do feed him in the night as it's the easiest but I also feed him because he "asks" for it, if he isn't hungry then he doesn't want to eat.

Sigh, it's so difficult. He does seem tired during the day but never seems to want to nap.

I think I'll try getting dh to see to him in the night and hope that makes a difference but I can imagine ds2 crying and staying awake even longer and that our resolve will crumble at 3am.