11 month old - sleep consultant, sleep training? Or will nothing work?

[Iknowwhatisaw]

I have an eleven month old who, once awake, will not go back in his cot for love nor money.

I have tried Lucy Wolfe, which did not work - it seemed to cause a lot of distress.

I have tried pick up put down which also doesn’t work.

Ferber is completely ineffective - he doesn’t care whether we are present or not, what he needs is to be picked up.

It used to be that once asleep he’d sleep till at least one in the morning but now it’s edging earlier and earlier. Always before midnight, usually around 10 pm. So I hardly get any quality sleep as then I’m up with him until the early hours and up at 6 for work.

I don’t know whether sleep consultants might be the way forwards, it just doesn’t seem quite normal and I’m a bit worried.

We were the same when DS was 12 months old. Life felt so hard as we both work and got no sleep.

We got a sleep consultant and it was the best thing we ever did. Ds was going down by himself and sleeping all night within about 3 days. Would highly recommend!

Does a sleep consultant leave them to cry?
We just rode it out and I have no regret. They all sleep eventually, it’s just hard going when it’s at a rough point

What did they do @Bobble011019? I just don’t know what might work with DS … he feels pretty hardcore!

There was some crying involved but we were always there with him.! Just thought him to sleep by himself without being in or on our bed and it really worked. He loved going to sleep in his cot then. Everything felt so much better and I felt so much more confident and in control as a parent.

Thats not to say it will work for everyone but it worked for us. The 'they'll sleep eventually' scares me. I know some people who never fix their sleep problems and they go on until they're over 5. Maybe that's OK for some but sounds like a nightmare to me!.

Hope that helps

I am worried about that! But also worried about spending hundreds and no improvement.

I am sleep consultant if you want to ask any general questions?

And no @DGFB we don't just leave them to cry 🙄

Thank you.

So his usual routine has been consistent since tiny baby. Teeth (now he has some!) bath, fresh nappy, babygrow, bottle.

If you just put him in the cot he won’t fall asleep himself but will with a rock / bounce routine. Doesn’t usually take long.

But then he wakes - usually between 1030-12. And then won’t go back down until maybe 3am. It’s pretty stressful!

I found bath before bed stimulated my DC instead of calming them down. Try to skip the bath one evening and give baby a wipe down instead and see if it makes a difference.

Regardless, there's usually a sleep regression between 10-12 months which is brutal.

www.sleepadvisor.org/11-month-sleep-regression/

I think it’s just a phase they go through… everyone I know with children around that age had a phase of being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night…. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know that doesn’t help, but it eventually does just sort itself

Like PP - a sleep consultant is by far the best money I have ever spent. It saved my mental health, and did wonders for my career and marriage.

We spoke to a few (for free), and found one with an approach and style which really worked for us.

I had ready dozens of books and articles about sleep, but in my exhausted and emotional state I needed someone to tell me exactly what to do with my baby, and how.

Truly, if you have money, do it.

Thanks! I veer between thinking it’ll sort itself and also that it’s not quite normal … needing to be held like a newborn!

I just need sleep

I think if you are happy to go down the route of a sleep consultant and can comfortably afford it, that's fine but please don't ever let anyone tell you a baby that wants to sleep with it's mum, and wake up in the night, something that mammals are designed to do is not normal. It's not convenient for the life we lead, but perfect natural and healthy.

What is his routine like during the day? Do you think he is getting enough daytime sleep? I think over tiredness results in pretty poor night time sleep.
My sons sleep dramatically improved at around 13/14 months. I did pay for a sleep consultant when he was 8 months (gentle methods, more focused on getting a good routine in general). But I think for us it was developmental and also him being reassured and confident in his own room and cot. He knows if he calls for us or cries we’ll come to him.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I remember very well how shit it was when my son wasn’t sleeping. It will get better!

I know @Junobug totally got a tiny baby but it isn’t just him wanting to sleep with me, it’s wanting to sleep on me.

That isn’t quite right for an eleven month old. It may be a phase but it isn’t standard.

During the day he’s at nursery, he eats well and naps for between 2 to 3 hours. I think his bedtime may be a bit late but it’s hard to say as often the earlier he’s in bed the worse his night sleep is.

*for

I'd just go with it, it's a phase, it'll pass. But if you want to 'do something' then I'd make very sure it's not teething, which IME can last for months at a time around this age.

Get that sleep consultant! I got 1 with my eldest when she was maybe 10 months. She went from waking every 45 minutes, I'd breastfeed her to sleep for 20 mins, hold her upright for 5 mins (colic and silent reflux) in bed then awake 40 mins later. All night long. Got a sleep coach- Carol Nae consulting on FB and she started sleeping through in 3 days. No ad. This is just what happened. She also sorted naps. Best money spent.

Mae not nae

I agree, get a sleep consultant. We used Good Night Baby based in Devon. The best money I've ever spent and I wish we'd done it earlier! One (in fairness, pretty awful) night, and then she slept through.

This whole "it's a phase, they'll sleep eventually" is not helpful, IMO. If you're willing to be sleep deprived for years, go ahead and do nothing. If you want you and your baby to be well rested, you need to take action to make that happen. The people I know who have taken the less direct approach have children who even at older ages (4-5+) do not sleep through the night. No thanks!

@jemimafuddleduck so well put! So much negativity about sleep training and wanting to get your baby to sleep so you can keep sane, instead of having a bad sleeper for 5 years and being totally miserable. Incredibly annoying

@Iknowwhatisaw Did you end up using a sleep consultant? Did it help? X

I am a sleep consultant specializing in gentle, responsive, and effective methods. Let me know if you'd like to chat any further-- I think I can really help you get your little one's sleep back on track!

peacefulpeanutsleep.com

I looked into sleep consultants and just couldn’t accept the level of crying involved. We rode it out and kept getting up to our kids, 11 months is young. No regrets here at all.. I guess it depends how desperate you are feeling

@Iknowwhatisaw what times are the naps at nursery and how is your baby eating and drinking?