Is mums holding why he can’t be put down?

[Dotty08]

Hey Mums,
Finally brought my baby girl home from NICU two weeks ago. When she first came home she was a brilliant sleeper.
We’re staying with my mum at the moment as our house was in the middle of a renovation when baby arrived.
My mum will literally not put her down. I struggle to get a look in holding my baby in the day because my mum always has her. She now will only sleep when she’s being held, the minute you put her down - or within ten minutes of being put down she’s crying.
Is this because of my mums constant holding?
Thanks
Rose

You're THE Mum now. You have to learn to stand up for yourself. It's a weird transition but you have to assert yourself.

Regardless of whether the sleep issue is down to her holding the baby or not, it's YOUR baby.

What you've got to do is say "I'll take her now Mum"

And if she makes up an excuse or tries to get out of it, just say "No, I want to hold her now thanks"

And hold our your arms.

I had to do this with MIL and she'd avoid handing the baby over so I had to literally get hold of the baby and remove her.

My 4th was like that. I realised if she was being held she would sleep sleep sleep and not wake up for a feed.

Have you got a sling suitable for a newborn so you can pop her in there?

Young babies wanting to be cuddled is usual though.

No way of knowing but babies do change as they age and especially when they leave NICU in my experience.

Who knows OP. It could be partly a result of the constant holding, or it might have happened anyway - it's very normal for babies to sleep really well when they are tiny and then "wake up" a bit a few weeks later. Probably not worth worrying too much about why! But as pp says, if you want your mum to hold the baby less you need to assert yourself and say so.

My DS1 was the same after his stay in SCBU, he was almost a little bit institutionalised after the routine of hospital but once he was used to home the routine went to shit. I know it's hard with all that you have been through but you definately have to assert boundaries with your mother, yes a bond with grandparents is important, but your bond with her is more important and you should be the one holding her most of the time, not her.