co sleeping

[roseability]

Did anyone ever let their newborn sleep in the same bed? I did it sometimes, as it was the only way he would sleep and i was desperate (and suffering from PND). I don't smoke, drink, take drugs etc and was always careful but I feel guilty with all the latest research re cot death. He is now 20 months and sleeps in his own cot (actually on the odd occasion when he has been unsettled and I have tried to co sleep he has wanted to go back to his own bed!)

in october 2007 i attended my grandsons inquest he died at 75 days old of cot death and the coroner pointed out how time and time again he was at inquest of co sleepers ,my grandson died in his dads arm s ,he said that it didnt contribute , he didnt suffocate but his parents will never do this again its horrendous .please co sleeper dont jump on me ,i wouldnt wish this hell on anybody ,by the way thwhe j no smokers alcohol or drugs involved.

Oh gosh yes, DD slept with us for a month when she was newborn. Obviously she was on top of the duvet and between the two of us, and you are hyperaware they are there so there is no chance of rolling onto them (ha! Fat chance with Little Miss Starfish in the bed).

Hazygirl, sorry to hear about your DGS, cot death is a terrible thing and I hope one day they do discover what does cause it to prevent parents having to go through this hell and guilt.

Lots of people on here cosleep. My DD has slept in my bed since birth. She is now almost 9 mo.

Hazygirl, that's trully awful. In the interest of fairness though you said yourself that co-sleeping wasn't the cause of death.

Read Three in a Bed, by Deborah Jackson. That gives you all the statistics and info you need to make the decision for your family.

I co-sleep with my DD every night (she's 15 months) I didn't for the first three or four months because I was worried about overlaying but I wouldn't worry the second time around.

I realise there are instances of suffocation with co-sleepers but it is actually really rare and in some countries where co-sleeping is the norm, it's totally unheard of.

I have co-slept with all 5 of my boys, and I think i'm so aware that their there that I would sleep better without them! have now brought a bedside cot, so we have a bit more room in our bed but ds5 is still able to be right next to me, meens we both get a good nights sleep!

hazygirl so sorry to hear about your DGS

its like the smoking asking who smoked near him,he left us before midnight by 3 in morning police had removed the bed and everything even dds aged 2 and 3 ,had to come out of their home as it "is a crime scene" its shit and still gives me sleepless nights but gingerninja as you say no one knows why it happens, i wish they could and will hope that no day cot death is a thing of the past,i hope i havent offended anyonex

Hi thanks for your messages. I do want to co sleep next time (we are going to try for number 2 next year!) but there is so much conflicting evidence and taboo surrounding the subject. Does anyone know of any good books on the subject? I find it a fascinating topic!

Hazygirl - you haven't offended anyone - of course not. It's bloody difficult going through something like that without having to worry that if you say anything you'll get jumped on. My personal view is that SIDS is largely down to genetic predisposition and that while there are trigger factors which can speed it, 99.9% of it is predisposition - ie it's going to happen even with the best of conditions and parents.

I know a few people who've lost LOs to SIDS and they have never forgiven themselves - e.g. for sleeping and not noticing their LO had stopped breathing in the cot, for not taking him to the doctor because he was teething - but could it have been something else?

No parent would go through a death without wondering if they were responsible and feeling guilt and helplessness, but that doesn't make it their fault in any way.

we coslept till ds deciced he didnt want too(i still wanted too!)
i agree read 3 in a bed,very good read.

Oh I forgot to ask, what do you do when the baby/child goes to bed before you? I am presuming you can't leave them to sleep in an adult bed unattended. I wouldn't fancy going to bed at 7.30pm or keeping them up until 11pm! However I am not judging people who might do it this way!

we just had matress on floor,he had no duvet or pillows near him,he slept in his grobag,room was very baby safe so we were quite ok with putting him to bed before us.

i'm sure you haven't offended anyone hazygirl, its good to have everyones experiences, not just good ones although I wish that you didn't have to have a bad one, and also hope that one day sids will be a thing of the past,

er hum, I think I mentioned Deborah Jackson, Three in a bed.

You'll get raised eyebrows from almost everyone (with the exception of other cosleepers) because in the West we have this culture that frowns on your children impacting on your life in such a way. However, millions of people around the world do it as a matter of course because that's the way it's been done for millenia. All family members sleep together.

It's lovely and those that have never done it have missed out on a beautiful experience.

Well when DD was very small (ie under a month) I used to make a pillow fortress round her (not pressed into her obviously, swaddle her) and sit on the other side of the room and read. Otherwise I'll lie her down downstairs with me (she used to wake up every few hours to feed anyway).

I am co-sleeping with my DS but DP does not sleep with us. He is 7 weeks old so in a moses basket until I go to bed.

I feel so very aware of his presence and get much more sleep I think as sometimes I don't need to wake completely when he wants feeding.

I feel completely safe as I follow the guidelines about pillows and quilts, but I am considering a bedside cot so I can stretch out a bit more, my shoulders are starting to ache from staying in one position - as it's just me and DS I sometimes move him to the other side of me so I can turn over, though.

my kids were often in our bed feet everywhere x

Yes Hazygirl, no offence at all. Really sorry for you and your family though. Inconceivable.

We co-slept quite a lot until recently, DS would start off in his cot then come in with me at some point in the night (DH would get kicked out onto sofa). He would be in a grobag on top of the duvet so no risk of getting covered by it. I would really recommend it as a way of all getting more sleep, especially if you're breastfeeding.

Hazygirl so sorry to hear about your family's loss.

Thank you! Hazygirl I cannot imagine what you and your family have been through, I am so sorry. Gingerninja sorry I missed the earlier mention of Deborah Jackson, I am tired

I didn't read this properly, hazygirl I'm so sorry to read about your loss, I can't imagine the pain.