Should I fix this or roll with it?

[Opus17]

DS (16 months) has always needed longer awake windows than average, even as a newborn. He has a hard time switching off but when he goes to sleep, he can sleep for hours. He's transitioned from 3 to 2 then 2 to 1 naps earlier than the average as well.

He was waking at 7:30ish, napping at 1 for two hours then going down at 8:30pm for a while but recently, I just can't get him down before he's been awake for 7 hours... He isn't overtired. He's not cranky, not hyper, not grumpy, doesn't complain, just happy playing and cuddling etc. I have tried putting him early, I have tried giving him multiple.opportunities to sleep, he happily comes with me because he loves sleeping but when he realises he can't fall asleep, he just gets back up again and trots off.

Right now our schedule is looking like this..
8am - awake
3:30pm - nap for 2 hours
9:30/10pm - bed

Like this...he is never grumpy or cranky, and very happy!

If I try getting him up at 6am, he spends the entire morning whinging and it drives me crazy. But he at least goes down for his nap at 12/1pm which means bed at 8:00/8:30 at least.

Do I try to change it or do I just leave it?
Surely he's not ready to drop his nap already?

When my husband does the nap, sometimes DS only sleeps 30 minutes as it's in the carrier outside, and then he'll sleep early and for 12/13 hours at night. But I wake him up here at home in bed after 30 minutes, again, I have a grumpy toddler until bed time.

I'm at a loss. Any advice would be appreciated! Go with the flow? Or try to change something?

I would definitely do an early lunch followed by earlier nap so he goes down earlier and allows you some evening time to yourself/with your partner.

Thanks! He has lunch at 11:30 and I've been trying to put him down from 12:30 but he just won't go down no matter what I do🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't know if it's a regression or what not but he just isn't tired

Our DS had almost exactly the same routine at that age, just 90 minutes earlier for everything. If he's having c.10.5 hours overnight, then 2 hours in the day, total amount of sleep seems fine, particularly if he's happy.

So I guess the question is: which bit isn't working for you? Is it the wake up time, the bedtime, the nap timing? Sounds like it's the late bedtime? If so, I'd suggest moving it very very gradually (bedtime at most five minutes or so a day earlier - we did this in the opposite direction once we accepted DS didn't need more sleep, was never going to sleep 12 hours a night and the only way to stop 5:30am wake ups was a later bedtime). But you'll probably find he wakes up correspondingly earlier in the morning and you need to move the nap earlier, so it's the same routine just at a different time. Personally, I'm a night owl, so always went for a later bedtime rather than an earlier morning.

We found after a while we had to start capping DS's naps gradually shorter and shorter to get him to go to bed in a reasonable timescale in the evening, and he eventually dropped it altogether, but that was after he was 2. That did make his night-time sleep lengthen a bit, but not quite as much as the nap lost - he now normally does 8pm-7/7:30am with no nap at nearly 3 years old. They're all a bit different though!

Our eldest started dropping her nap at 18 months, and it was totally gone by 20 months. Prior to that she’d been on 1 x 28 minute nap since 11 months old.

We tried everything to extend naps and deal with night wakings, but as soon as she stopped napping she suddenly slept solidly for 12 hours, was much better rested in the morning and generally happier because we didn’t have the daily nap battle.

Her dad sleeps midnight-5am and no more, otherwise he can’t get to sleep the next night. I sleep well from 10pm-4am then I’m usually wide awake. Sadly I think some people just breed children who need less sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️

Are you happy with his current routine?

There's nothing wrong with it, if you're happy with it.

Thanks everyone.
I suppose I am OK with his routine really. It would be nice to spend some time with DH in the evening but I also know it won't be like this forever so if it's working for now, then I should probably just leave it alone. Another mum at playgroup today was shocked that he goes to bed "so late", I guess it got me thinking!

@TheBestSpoon I think capping the nap is a good idea, I just dread the grumpiness that comes with it lol. He ended up sleeping 2 and a half hours today and woke up quite happily at 6pm...

@Timeturnerplease ah thank you for this! I'm being told he's "far too young to drop to no naps" but when I see him sleeping happily for 12-13 hours after a 40 minute nap with dad, I'm wondering if maybe he will just end up getting his full sleep at night time and not need to nap during the day anymore. Sometimes he does end up overtired though then he'll wake every 40 minutes crying at night for around 2-3 hours until he then settles so that was initially the reason why I kept on with the naps.

@FATEdestiny I suppose I am happy enough right now, would just be nice having even an hour with DH but by 10pm, I'm usually knackered and falling asleep as I'm still being woken up by him a few times a night.

I might try just skipping his nap on these days when he doesn't go down and see how he gets on! Sometimes with a short nap, he will end up waking every half hour at night which is then tough, as I think he's overtired.

Sleep is such a guessing game, I find it a bit stressful sometimes!

It does sound like he still needs the nap - we only started capping it when it was clearly interfering with bedtime. If you're happy as is, and so is he, I'd be tempted to leave it for now - if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Good luck.