Please help 2am

[Cheekytea]

My little one was 2 in July
She always been okay sleeper had her moments teething leaps etc
We had routine from about six seven months old, dinner 6pm bath story books bed starts 7:15pm down by 8
Lately.....

Down by 8:30 up atleast twice before 12 then anything after 12 she will scream cry and cry for hours till someone gives me in and takes her downstairs sleep on sofa and I mean hours of screaming and crying I always been Against co sleeping and I always tried to avoid creating habits such as sleeping on sofa giving her drinks middle night etc

When she wakes I go in turn hoover on ( white noise) kiss cuddle say night walk out
Cry for timed 2mins walk in kiss cuddle wak out cry for timed 3mins walk in kiss cuddle walk out then 5mins and 5mins max every time
Now just to night she learnt to climb out her cot only done it twice so far and won't come out her room just pulls her door open and screams I told her go back to bed she climbed in and carried on crying and screaming

I don't know what todo next I don't know how to fix this sleep issues...

Picture to show how happy she is be downstairs on sofa with me at 2am

I worked 14 hour shift and been up for 18hours I need sleep...

She's so cute! I think I would co sleep for a bit if you have a big bed or put a temporary extra bed in her room as you really need sleep. Your partner can sleep on the sofa or you can take it in turns to co sleep.

This should give you a bit of rest and time to work out what to do longer term. She might need a night light, extra food etc

Can she sleep I your bed? I co slept for years as my DC didn't sleep well at all, it's a killer no sleep but if co sleeping means sleep go for it.

Could be night terrors? Over tired?

The hoover thing is weird, white noise only really works if it’s on constantly. It must be quite confusing for her if you go into her room when she wakes up and turns the hoover on. Can you imagine if someone did that to you when you woke up in the night?! I’d tell them to bugger off.

What’s the point in leaving her screaming and crying for hours and then eventually giving in and taking her on the sofa? No one is a winner. She has learnt that if she carries on long enough then she will end up with you.

Personally I would cut the crap and just co sleep with her. She’s only two. Who cares as long as you’re all getting sleep. She’s probably overtired if she’s waking up a lot. Just sleep in with her or bring her in with you. But make sure she knows it’s still night time so try not to chat to her, keep the lights off, say night night go back to sleep.

If you really don’t want to cosleep then you need to stop giving in and eventually taking her downstairs as it’s just giving mixed signals. There’s no point doing the whole 2 mins, 5 mins etc if you eventually take her down anyway. Controlled crying only works if you actually stick to it. But like I say I don’t think I’d bother with all that I’d just get some sleep!

Also 8.30 bed is quite late for her age. She probably needs more sleep.
Why have you got all the lights on and taking photos of her at 2am? This is confusing for her, you are saying it’s night time and she needs to go to bed but then it seems like you’re up and awake with her as if it’s the daytime. Try to keep it dark and quiet. Ideally as well if you do cosleep it would be better to be in a bed and bedroom rather than sofa because this is away from where she associates bedtime as being.

Hi OP you have my sympathies. The sleepless nights are awful especially after your long shifts. But don't worry it will get better.

So I agree with @Newnews. If you can co-sleep then I would do that. She won't co-sleep forever. However, I could never co-sleep with my kids are they were like tossing starfish and they just moved all night and I got zero sleep. So if you can co-sleep then great but if you can't then you probably need to follow through with the controlled crying and ask NewNews says, you will have to be consistent. So I would probably do it over 3 nights when you're not working (maybe take annual leave).

Can she talk? Do you ask her why she wakes screaming? For the white noise can you put sound on an iPad or a phone from when she goes to sleep? I would agree that if possible she should be in bed from 7pm.

Respectfully- you are going into her room in the middle of the night and turning the hoover on? No wonder she thinks it's time to get up... if someone did that in my room at night there would be no way I'd be off back to sleep. You need a white noise machine, that is on constantly. While she is falling asleep, and then on until she wakes up in the morning. That is the most bizarre thing I've read in a while!

And also agree with NewNews about the mixed messages. You've unfortunately taught her that if she screams long enough then she gets to sleep with you on the sofa. So there's nothing wrong with her! If you want to do the controlled crying then you'd need to persevere. I might offer wee/change nappy and a sip of water on the first occasion but nothing after that. No lights, no eye contact, back to bed CONTINUOUSLY until she falls asleep. It's a battle of wills. It may go on all night or until 4/5am, but you can't give in at 2am.

Just quickly it called the hoover on white noise app it not actually a hoover 😂

My picture at 2am this morning because she wouldn't stop giggling it first night she climb out her cot and it scared life out of me And we on. The sofa so I knew she would fall asleep in seconds no matter what.

But big thank you for people that been helpful my partner not on idea of co sleeping she tosses turn to much kicks him and keeps him awake ( I fall asleep in bed with her in it very happy)

And in way I don't want to leave her to cry it out I really don't that why I struggled with giving in maybe just have push the idea of her getting a proper single bed and just sleeping in that with her

I did controllers crying with my youngest at that age and 2 big things. One, don't make you coming in worth their while. No eye contact, lay them down, boring voice just say it's bedtime time for sleep. On repeat. Second, if you are going to do itt commit and stick to it. The screaming etc is because she's leart it gives results. Once she learns it won't she'll stop bothering.

We did it as we'd got into a pickle with co sleeping (was bf and waking up hourly for feeds) but cossleeeping was amazing til we could get ourselves together to do the cc

Think I would get a consistent white noise machine. Alexa will do the job. The hoover I going on and off will confuse her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry if I’ve missed this but is she still napping?