Can't get 2 year old to nap

[BlondeNymph]

My ds turned 2 a few weeks ago and for about 5/6 weeks now he's refusing to nap. Every time I try he climbs out of his cot and cries. Everyone keeps telling me that "maybe he's ready to drop the naps". But I know he's not! He gets so cranky, tantrums galore and we've resorted to taking him out in the car at nap times to literally force him to sleep (he then sleeps for over an hour). He won't even lay down or chill on the days he refuses the naps, which is literally every day now. He will continuously run around, then he starts to get violent and eventually he ends up screaming and crying. This then affects his night time sleep if he misses a nap because he's over tired and the night time sleep is so disturbed and he fights it so bad!
What do I do

You're right - two is very, very young to drop the nap. Most keep it for around another year from where you are.

This basically is a behavioural issue, ratger than a sleep issue. The way to deal with it is how you would any other unwelcome behaviour - clear expectations, very firm boundaries, consistency and repetition.

Basically he has to learn to lie down in the cot. What you cannot do is make him sleep (he has body autonomy). But what you can do is insist that he lies down in his cot quietly. He's just refusing to do that - it's unwelcome behaviour. So to deal with it:

● Very simple expectations.

• Lie down in your cot at sleep time In a few weeks add in "Lie down quietly in your cot at sleep time". But for now, all you are expecting of him is to lie down and stay lying down at sleep time.

● Firm Boundaries

• Nothing else is acceptable apart from lying down in your cot at bedtime. So you need to stay right by his side whileever he is pushing that boundary. This is so you can respond instantly. The moment, the very instant he makes any move to sit up, respond immediately yo lie him back down. Don't wait for him to stand up, react as he means upwards before he's even sitting.

● Consistency
Every time he is not lying down in the cot, do the same thing. Lie him back down, repeat a mantra ("You lie down at sleep time"). Hand on his chest both provides reassurance and also reaffirms that you expect stillness. So just linger your hand there for a minute or two after lying him back down

● Repetition
This is the dull bit. Repeat a gazillion times. I often hear "It won't work, he treats it like a game". That may be true the first few times. You just have to keep going and never deviate from your expectations.

Just to offer a different perspective. Both mine dropped naps around this age. They were a little tired at first but soon seemed to sleep for longer at night to make up the hours. They would not nap unless in car and we didn't want to force them to sleep or start associating sleep with stress. It didn't occur to me to see it as a behavioural issue, although I can really see the alternative point of view now I'm out of that phase. I just went with what I thought they were telling me and it seemed to work out!