5 months old still not sleeping?

[X19gbs]

Hello
I have an amazing little boy who is always very happy and well behaved but as soon as it comes to nighttime he just doesn't sleep.

He naps during the day for 30 minutes at a time but I understand that is his current sleep cycle and that's fine.

He went through 4 month sleep regression for a couple of weeks, rolling over as soon as I put him down! We got through that and he was then sleeping 3 hour stretches, settling himself back to sleep if needed and waking for a feed and back to sleep, which was amazing!

But that didn't last long and 2 weeks later he is sleeping for 15 minutes at a time, an hour sometimes but pretty much awake all night. He will sleep in my arms but even then he wakes up and I shh him back to sleep so I don't think it's a comfort thing.

Any ideas on what the hell has happened?!

Everyone says it's like coming out the other side after 4-5 months and you get more sleep. I am seeing less exhausted is an understatement!

He is exclusively breastfed. (Note - it isn't just hunger, I make sure he feeds well during the day)

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but my 8 months old never came out the other side 😂

I’m now pursuing sleep training as I think it’s gonna be the only way

She wakes hourly at the moment all through the night 😭

My baby need to be fed to sleep every single wake up through the night - I think that’s the issue

Every time she goes into a light sleep she wakes and needs my help to get back to sleep

I think she needs to go to sleep in cot to learn how to settle herself Bach to sleep

I have been talking about pursuing it for a month now but I just cave most nights - feed her and put her back or resort to co sleeping tbh! 🙈

Sorry OP it's totally normal, my 1st didnt sleep through until 18months, for no 2 it was over 2 years. No 3 is 7 months and was up maybe 4--5 times last night (I don't count)

The people with good sleepers are just lucky, babies don't read the baby books

Settling technique and calorie deficit are almost always the reasons behind this sort of issue.

If you want baby sleeping independently of you, baby needs to go from awake to asleep independently of you. A dummy will help with this.

If you want to feed to sleep or cuddle to sleep, why don't you embrace cosleeping? This wouldn't be about stopping baby wake, just making it easier/faster to cuddle/feed back to sleep.

@Fupoffyagrasshole

My baby need to be fed to sleep every single wake up through the night - I think that’s the issue

Every time she goes into a light sleep she wakes and needs my help to get back to sleep

I think she needs to go to sleep in cot to learn how to settle herself Bach to sleep

I have been talking about pursuing it for a month now but I just cave most nights - feed her and put her back or resort to co sleeping tbh! 🙈

@Fupoffyagrasshole oh god 🤦🏼‍♀️ that is what I keep doing. I last a minute at best to try and leave him to settle himself or rock him without feeding but then give up listening to him and feed him!

I see so many techniques to get them to sleep and learn to settle themselves but it takes so much energy to put them in place, I never follow through!

@Bobojangles maybe you are right. My only comparison is my sisters babies and they all slept though from 8-12 weeks but they were formula fed. I'm sure that makes a difference too.

At least I know I'm not the only one and it's normal!

Thank you both!

@FATEdestiny

Settling technique and calorie deficit are almost always the reasons behind this sort of issue.

If you want baby sleeping independently of you, baby needs to go from awake to asleep independently of you. A dummy will help with this.

If you want to feed to sleep or cuddle to sleep, why don't you embrace cosleeping? This wouldn't be about stopping baby wake, just making it easier/faster to cuddle/feed back to sleep.

@FATEdestiny

I think it's settling technique. He is a distracted baby during the day so it is hard for him to feed however I have been making sure we go into dark rooms etc so he does feed and it doesn't seem to have made a difference.

Sleep training methods to help with them settling I just find are exhausting I keep giving on them!

I would love to co- sleep and I do end up putting him into bed with me when my partner leaves for work at 6. But I wouldn't be comfortable doing it all nice, I get too nervous and uncomfortable and sleep just as badly as a I can't relax.

Guess I'm going to just have to be more adamant on him settling without me...I feel he is too young to properly sleep train so maybe I'll try that in a couple of months if still in the same situation!

Thank you

There are easy thing you can tackle to encourage independant sleeping, without any sleep training. It won't solve the is due entirely, but will help if you look at daytime sleep.

Firstly - reduce wake window so baby doesn't get overtired. A reasonable approximation for Wake Windows (between waking from one sleep and being aslerp for the next nap) is double nap length. So if baby is having 30 minute naps, start settling him for his next nap 45 minutes after waking so that he is asleep 60 minutes after waking.

Try to have naps in something that moves. This is especially important if you're trying to encourage independant sleeping. I favour z bouncy chair for daytime naps.

So park yourself on the sofa, bouncer at your feet, TV remote in your hand and use your foot to bounce baby to sleep. Be relentless about it. Non stop, even tempo and just keep going.

@X19gbs I was coming on here to post exactly the same thing! So I have no advice but you have my solidarity!! I'm just crossing my fingers that some magical change happens at 6 months and he gets better again!

@Fupoffyagrasshole @partario

Thought I'd update to see if can help anyone else, after seeing everyone's replies me and my partner were distraught at the idea that it never gets better 😂

So we decided to try and do some sleep training, which I was previously againest!

But I fed him and put him in his cot sleepy but awake and left the room. He cried and it is heartbreaking and I was crying along with him!! Lol but we did the gentler method where you go in and console and calm them down every few minutes, making the breaks longer each time.
I wasn't comfortable leaving him for too long so I only increased the breaks from 3 mins to 5 mins and kept going in after 5.

It took 45 minutes in total but he fell asleep!

Didn't wake up again until I woke him to feed when we went to bed, did the same thing but he went off after only 10 minutes and then he slept for 4 straight hours! Longest sleep I've had in ages.

He did wake up again a couple of times later in the night but if it hadn't been long enough for him to be hungry (I was waiting 2,5 hours minimum) then I did the same shhh and left him and he went back to sleep after only a couple of minutes of upset.

It feels sooo much longer when they are crying f but he stopped the second I walked in the room or even sometimes when he caught sight of something in the room, so i thought you can't be that upset!

Only night one but we are all much happier this morning having had some sleep.

Hopefully this continues

Wow this is amazing news @X19gbs

I actually in separation purchased the just chill mamma course for 27£ yesterday and have just read through it

I think we will start tonight as I can’t cope anymore

She was up every bloody half hour last night and I’m just like a zombie today

The 2 methods my course suggests are exactly what you are doing or doing the same but staying with the baby for reassurance and keeping hand on chest and shushing 🤫

I’ve been too tired to even think about it tbh - as feeding or co sleeping was easier

We’ve cleared our schedules the rest of week / weekend and gonna get my husband to start tonight with the getting her asleep in the cot thing - think she’ll accept it from him more than me as she associates me with milk 🙈

So pleased you had some success so quickly and thanks for the update!

Wow thanks @X19gbs for the inspiration 🙈 we did it tonight!

Well my husband did while I hid in the living room

She cried for 1hour 5mins and finally went asleep

She’s woken twice
Since but both times just needed to be patted briefly

I can’t believe it

@Fupoffyagrasshole

Wow thanks *@X19gbs* for the inspiration 🙈 we did it tonight!

Well my husband did while I hid in the living room

She cried for 1hour 5mins and finally went asleep

She’s woken twice
Since but both times just needed to be patted briefly

I can’t believe it

Oh yay! It's heartbreaking isn't it but so worth it!

Our 2nd night on it last night and only 10 minutes of crying when we first put him down.

He woke up every 3 hours but that was for feeds as he normally goes 3 hours in the day! And went straight off after.

Let's hope it keeps up!

Good luck and hope it works for you too!!🤞🏼

Thanks @X19gbs I just put her down for her nap there and she was done crying by the time I reached the door and she just turned over and went to sleep ! Nuts

Feel like a massive weights been lifted

Only wish I did it sooner but hey ho what can ya do

@Fupoffyagrasshole

Thanks *@X19gbs* I just put her down for her nap there and she was done crying by the time I reached the door and she just turned over and went to sleep ! Nuts

Feel like a massive weights been lifted

Only wish I did it sooner but hey ho what can ya do

@Fupoffyagrasshole hello! Hope you don't mind but was wondering how you have been getting on? Did the success continue? 🙈