One year old still not sleeping - medical issue?

[JoannaKP]

Does anyone know if it's worth getting my one year old checked out for medical issues which might be affecting sleep? Or if anyone knows any medical issues which may be affecting sleep?

When I said I can count on one hand how many times he has slept through since he was born I'm not kidding.

The past week or so it's back to being awake pretty much all night screaming from midnight till we eventually get up around 5-6am.

I myself am now suffering from insomnia and spent my nights crying.

He is fed, changed, on reflux medication, white noise etc etc the list goes on.

I'm now wondering if there is medically something wrong?

Surely by one we should have had at least a run of decent sleep?

People blame teething etc but he cannot possibly be teething every single night.

Exhausted/emotion mum here!

I don't know how much longer I can cope. I'm in consultation with my HV who is equally as baffled as me.

He seems to be surviving on very little quality sleep and day sleep is just as bad/unpredictable. Tried shorter naps/longer naps/one nap/two naps. Nothing makes a difference.

I'm so sad. I feel like I'm losing any sort of bond I had with him as I now just resent him/am too tired to interact with him. My husband is getting there too with these feelings. Even taking turns and giving him overnight to others we are both getting angry and frustrated now.

@pinkgin85 had been once per night always looking for a feed and back down which was fine. We could both cope with that bur now it's multiples times per night. And then early early wake ups

[quote JoannaKP]@abbs1 yes we are beginning sleep training tonight with him so fingers crossed we see some improvement! [/quote]
I hope you get some improvement soon. Persevere with it. Its exhausting the first week -10 days but its paid off big time. Our little boy has been sleeping through since around 14 months and we started it between 12-13 months.

That sounds like very normal sleep for his age. I'm more worried that you and your partner seem to be getting angry with him,c then his sleep.

I know far more 1yo that wake at night than sleep through. Sleep here didnt improve until 3 & 2, though it's a rare night when both our 4.5 and 2.5 sleep all the way through (which is why I'm currently up at 4am).

Toddler sleep is a long road, but your little one is acting completely normal for his age.

Has he been checked for tongue ties? This can impact sleep as can enlarged tonsils/adenoids. I would speak to a GP to have these checked. Have you tried cosleeping? I would give that a try as if he sleeps ok doing that then it is likely to be some form of separation anxiety. I did a lot of reading about sleep when my DS was a baby and one thing that my sleep consultant suggested was NOT having quiet/chill time before bed. Doing this gives them time to recharge their batteries and bedtimes can often be harder. Instead keep them active and try to exhaust them. This worked like an absolute dream for us and bedtimes became much easier (worked until he was about 2 and since then we have done more of a gradual wind down). I probably wouldn't sleep train as this could make separation anxiety worse. I would look at @careitoutsleepconsultant on insta or her website. You can do phone consults with her for about £200 and she has brilliant results without CC or CIO.

Just another thought on top of all the good advice above, could there possibly be a temperature difference between your house and your parents' if he sleeps better there? Hope you get some sleep soon xx

Sorry accidental kisses may have been a bit much 😂

Could be allergies, which night not be cows milk, could be gluten, soya, egg etc.

My DS has only slept through (and I mean from 7pm-5am) this week at 2 and a half. Before that he was up every 1-3 hours. Same with my daughter. They both have allergies but we have them under control. Some DC are just shitty sleepers.

I can tell you now, unequivocally and categorically there are no medical issues at play.

There's a very very simple reason he's waking so much at night - because he isn't consistently falling asleep alone. Being patted to sleep at a year old is ridiculous, as is giving him a night feed. I stopped night feeds with all my children by a few months old and sleep trained then, they've all slept 12/13 hours per night ever since. On the odd spell of illness / teething of course we get night waking but they have never ever been fed in the night since the age of around 4/5 months MAXIMUM. Most of them dropped their night feeds even earlier than that.

Simple answer - you need to sleep train him. This doesn't mean leaving him to scream until he falls asleep. It means teaching him independent healthy sleep habits where he lies down in his own bed and goes to sleep alone. For every nap and every bed tune. If he wakes in the night, don't interact, check for wet / dirty nappy, offer water and nurofen in case of teething then leave the room. Patting him to sleep or sitting with him all night only serves to teach him that he needs mummy or daddy there to fall asleep. I don't think this is healthy to foster independence and healthy sleep habits in children.

Lots of people don't agree with sleep training, and that's ok. I don't believe in Co sleeping or feeding toddlers to sleep. It doesn't breed healthy sleep habits and it's not sustainable long term.

None of mine slept through til 2.5, and my youngest is 3.5 and still rarely sleeps all the way through 🤷‍♀️ FWIW the older ones now sleep like the dead, no sign of any medical conditions.

OP I feel for you, it's so hard. You need your sleep so send him for sleepovers at your parents as often as you can until you feel better.

I had a terrible sleeper and no family nearby. The things that helped were: making sure he was warm enough (he needed a few more layers than I thought was right for the weather); leaving a hall light on and his door open; making sure he got an hour of exercise (park) and an hour of mental stimulation (reading him a book about numbers or the alphabet) every day; a thing that projected star lights onto the ceiling; and when he was older a weighted blanket and melatonin.

My daughter is 15 months, still wakes once per night, shes just come out of a regression which was a couple of weeks of waking every 2-3 hours again. When she wakes in the night her nappy is wet, i wouldnt want to sleep in a wet nappy either. IMO waking up once a night at this age is perfectly normal and any tempory change over this could well just be a regression you need to ride out

The past week or so it's back to being awake pretty much all night screaming from midnight till we eventually get up around 5-6am.

Just because something is developmentally appropriate (and I’m not convinced this is, unlike some pp) or other people’s babies woke 46 times a night until they were 25 doesn’t mean it’s sustainable for and your partner to continue this way, especially since you both work.

Definitely try to rule out anything medical but the fact he sleeps better away from home does tend to suggest it’s not.

Good luck with the sleep training, I really hope it works for you. Best decision we ever made.