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Linking sleep cycles

14 replies

Trinityhome · 28/10/2021 15:18

My LO is just over 5 months old. For the past 3 or so months she's been unable to nap for more than 30 minutes, she wakes up crying still tired and yawning (she's just woken up 15 minutes ago and is staring at me yawning).

My understanding is that she's not linking her sleep cycles.

She falls asleep on her own in her cot, pushchair or in the car but no matter where it's only for 30 minutes.

I'm at a lost cause of what to do, I've tried:

  • wake to sleep
  • holding her hand from the 25 minute mark to try and avoid her waking up
  • trying to rock her back to sleep

But no matter what she refuses to go back to sleep.

Her night time sleep is usually pretty good and she's able to link sleep cycles there.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Franca123 · 28/10/2021 15:30

Dummy?

Franca123 · 28/10/2021 15:30

Or leaving her to cry so she has a chance to fall back to sleep herself?

Trinityhome · 28/10/2021 15:34

@Franca123 dummy hasn't worked unfortunately

I've tried leaving her but it didn't work and I'm not a fan of the cry it out method

OP posts:
Skyla01 · 28/10/2021 18:54

Following. My LO is 9 months old and still cat naps quite a lot! Does my head in. She wakes up crying too- obviously wants/needs longer sleep but isn't always able to stay asleep.

Val2021 · 28/10/2021 19:37

Also following! 5 month old son is exactly the same - 28 mins to be precise Grin

Carbis · 28/10/2021 20:27

I tried all of those things but I think at around 6 months he started sleeping for longer stretches all by himself.

As he’s got older, he’s napped for very specific amounts of time e.g. 1 hour 15 minutes every time. I thought we’d never get a 2 hour nap and then suddenly around 17 months he started doing that.

I think it’s all age related / developmental. So no advice I’m afraid except that maybe it’s just a phase?

FATEdestiny · 28/10/2021 22:43

trying to rock her back to sleep

What do you mean by this? Picking her up and rocking her?

Because movement is the most effective way to resettle (ideally with a dummy, but if not then just movement). But this needs to be movement that doesn't disturb baby.

Linking sleep cycles comes through practice. So you expect to have 30-45m naps but every single time, every nap, every day, you attempt to resettle.

Initially most resettles will fail, but when you do get a successful resettle you might need to maintain that resettle technique constantly to keep baby asleep. Then over time more resettles are successful and less work is needed to resettle. Then once baby has mastered linking sleep cycles, you need to do less and less until you don't need to do anything and baby stays asleep throughout the cycle change.

you do the resettle matters

The idea is that baby doesn't wake at all. So baby goes from deep sleep into light sleep, you notice this change and resettle so that instead of going Deep>Light>Awake>Resettle, you go Deep>Light>Resettle>Deep

The "tell" for moving into a light sleep may be tiny, you have to closely watch and pay attention to sleeping baby. It might be a limb moving, face screwing up, hand forming a fist. If baby cries, it's too late since baby is now awake and your chances of resettle are tiny.

you do the resettle matters

Expect to have to work at it. Holding baby's hand is not going to cut it here. You have to actively lull baby back to sleep.

If you're cosleeping (conapping), stick the nipple back into baby's mouth and start rhthymic bum pats. Comfort sucking helps significantly to resettle (why dummies are amazing things).

If not cosleeping, the most independent way yo teach baby to lengthen naps is to go up sleep in something stationary, that moves. For example a bouncy chair, rocker, swing or pram pushed back and forth on the spot. I favour a bouncy chair.

The way baby goes to sleep initially matters

It's essential baby goes in this wide awake and falls asleep while in the bouncer (or whatever). So if baby isn't doing this, it's something to work on as a priority. Baby won't resettle in-situ if he/she never learnt to go to sleep in there initially.

It's then about using just enough movement to get baby from awake, through the light sleep phase and into the deep sleep phase, then stopping. Stationary while deep sleeping. Then the moment you see a grimace or tint bit of responce from baby - restart movement and keep it going.

Movement wants to be even tempo, even ferocity and very rhythmic. This is why a pram walk isn't as effective for this as a pram pushed back and forth on the spot (or a bouncer).

What about cot naps?

It's hard work to teach resettles in the cot. Not impossible, but it's easier to keep all naps in something that moves until baby is consistently linking sleep cycles, and then move them to a cot.

If you insist on cot naps, then napping, white noise and dummy are your best ways to teach linking cycles. You'll also need to ensure you sit right by the cot for all naps do that you can pay close enough attention to notice baby coming out of deep sleep (But before waking up), so you can start patting amd shushing back to sleep.

Trinityhome · 29/10/2021 14:00

Sounds like I'm not alone :-( I'm hoping it's a developmental thing that she goes will grow out of.

@FATEdestiny I used to co-nap and do exactly that but she would still wake up. I tried rocking, bum tapping all sorts & always tried it at the first sign of coming out of a deep sleep. Unfortunately she would still only nap for 30 minutes. This is why I moved to cot naps because napping on me wasn't helping at all. I also did carrier / sling naps and would walk and tap bum but again would be awake at 30 minutes on the dot.

Now she's napping in her cot, I'm still in there with her and the minute I see her move I start tapping her bum but she still wakes.

I've pretty much tried everything, you can tell that she's trying to move through sleep cycles but just can't.

It's strange though because she can do it at night

OP posts:
Trinityhome · 29/10/2021 14:05

I thought that her learning to fall asleep on her own would be the answer but nope 😂

OP posts:
Timeturnerplease · 29/10/2021 20:39

I never ever managed this and DD1 did 28 minute naps until she started dropping her final nap at 18 months. Now she’s nearly three and her personality is established I can see why, she’s just so curious and desperate to avoid missing out.

I will make the utmost effort to try and extend DD2’s naps, but at 12 weeks she’s already in a 31 minute pattern. I’m a primary teacher who can’t teach her own children anything, clearly 😂

FATEdestiny · 29/10/2021 21:10

Unfortunately she would still only nap for 30 minutes. This is why I moved to cot naps because napping on me wasn't helping at all.

30 minute naps are a normal phase.

The way yo get out of them is practice. So that means initially naps won't extend, or only rarely. But the more you practice, the better baby gets at it.

If you were expecting "Right, I've tried that for every nap for two weeks, that's 60-odd naps it didn't work, it won't ever work' - then there is your failing. It needs consistency and practice, long term.

Moving naps to a cot have made or significantly harder for baby to practice linking sleep cycles. Not impossible, but it would be a much quicker process to learn when done on a moving surface.

Trinityhome · 30/10/2021 14:42

@FATEdestiny she's been having 30 minute naps for the past 13 weeks and I moved her to her cot about 2 weeks ago so that's 11 weeks of napping on me, car, pushchair and carrier and never for more than 30 minutes.

She cannot fall asleep in the bouncer so I've tried everything.

I'm hoping she'll just grow out of it & for now I've just got a tired baby

OP posts:
Georginaaar · 03/09/2023 10:37

Hello,

I know it's been a while but did this improve for anyone currently going through this with my LO.

Georginaaar · 03/09/2023 10:38

Hi did this every change, this is exactly what my LO is doing.

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