12 m/o still waking every 2 hours - give me hope, ideas, anything!!!

[RosieLee2019]

DS has never been a good sleeper, and since 6 months has been waking pretty much every 2 hours. He's breastfed to sleep 95% of the time, starts the night in his cot, and then after his 1st or 2nd wake-up he co-sleeps with me (best way to maximise sleep). A good night is him waking 3 times, and going quickly back to sleep each time. A bad night is 4/5/6 wake-ups and/or a period of being awake for an hour or so.

We decided to just ride it out and thought it would just be a phase, but things have only improved very slightly (sometimes he does the odd 3-4 hour stretch). The co-sleeping is also not as restful now as it was when he was less mobile!

I'm going back to work soon, and keep thinking about whether it's time to sleep train, but I honestly don't know if DH and I have it in us to do it... I don't think gradual methods would work, and I don't know if I could stomach CC.

DH has been in the spare room for months; I'm knackered most of the time; and I just want some hope that it won't always be like this. Every night feels like a slog at the moment.

I suppose I just want to hear of people who have been in similar situations, and did things improve naturally (and when) or did you make changes that made a difference etc? Happy to hear of sleep training experiences too but having researched them extensively, I'm just not sure they're for us :/

If you're Cosleeping and feeding to sleep, ideally you shouldn't need to properly wake up when baby does. Baby is old enough to find own way to breast, could you sleep with your top off?

@FATEdestiny on a good night that's what happens - quick feed and I barely register it, and get a decent amount of sleep. But some nights he's more unsettled and doesn't always go back to sleep straight away after feeding.

I have embraced co-sleeping, but just don't want to do it indefinitely :/

My two are older now so I’m stretching my mind back. I BF them both to the age of two. I remember being back at work (when they were just over one) and still feeding once during the night. I didn’t co-sleep, they would wake, I’d feed them then put them back in their cot. Could that be the first step in your process? Don’t bring him into bed at all during the night. He wakes, you feed him then always back to the cot. He obviously can sleep on his own so co sleeping is the thing I’d drop. He might protest a bit initially but you might find he sleeps better in the long run and now is the time to make the change, before you’re back at work. It definitely won’t last forever. Im sure this time next year it’ll be a different story, a different challenge perhaps . Good luck with the return to work.

@jedstre thank you! If I feed him and put him back in his cot, he tends to only last an hour or so til he wakes again, so then I cave in and bring him in with me so we can both sleep! But you are right... I prob need to persevere with putting him back in his cot every time and eventually he'll sleep longer in there...

I started only feeding with fixed times overnight around 11/12 months as he was waking so often. I think it was every 3hrs max, so if he woke after 1hr, dh then settled him with water or rocking. Only took a few days and he did start sleeping longer.

Now 18 months I only feed in the morning, and dropped all other feeds. He goes to bed with story and us sitting in his room. And usually only wakes around 4-6am and joins us in bed the last hour or two. If he wakes overnight he gets water or cuddles, no feed now

Watching because this is still our reality at 18 months 🙃

I had one like this. Luckily I was a stay at home mum so I was able to just ride it out (although it had a massive effect on me mentally and physically). At about 2.5 we stopped feeding to sleep (their choice) and they have pretty much slept through the night ever since. For me it was really important that they self-weaned but I think had I done it earlier I may have had more sleep.

[quote RosieLee2019]@jedstre thank you! If I feed him and put him back in his cot, he tends to only last an hour or so til he wakes again, so then I cave in and bring him in with me so we can both sleep! But you are right... I prob need to persevere with putting him back in his cot every time and eventually he'll sleep longer in there...[/quote]
I understand why you bring him in with you but if you want to see a change (you obviously do, that’s why you’re asking for advice ) you’ll have to make a change. I appreciate it might be painful initially, but longer term you’ll be wanting him to spend the whole night in his cot, eventually a bed. And eventually you might want your DH to be back in his bed

Following. My LO is 9 months old but our situation sounds very similar to yours. We did some gentle sleep training at 6 months (Lucy Wolfe's baby sleep solution book is pretty good) which was ok but we've largely fallen off the wagon. We were doing shush pat to settle in the cot but that doesn't work anymore. After a rough few weeks (?teething) we're back to co sleeping from ~11 or 12 each night. Not very restful for anyone tbh.

We're hoping she might grow out of it soon... Otherwise maybe another attempt at gentle sleep training over xmas holidays, if we can face it.

Have you thought about night weaning? Hard work for a few nights but it worked well for my friend.

You have my sympathy. My 2 year old has never slept through the night. I have no advice (I’ve tried it ALL). Some children are bad sleepers some are great x

Sleep training doesn’t have to mean CC at all.
It just means that you’re helping your baby learn a new skill. Training him to know how to settle himself.

If you want to move away from Co sleeping then persevere with his cot, it will be difficult for a few nights and he might cry a little! You don’t need to leave him to cry but it’s not unimaginable that he’ll get a little upset when you try to leave him.

Cosleeping with a toddler is not fun so I’d definitely tackle it now. Mine can take up 3/4 of a king size bed

DS was exactly the same at 12 months, except bottle fed so even more hassle! The health visitor was horrified he was still having 3 feeds a night (but didn't give any helpful advice on how to improve, just that I had to stop ).

I started giving water on the third wake up instead of milk, then a month or two later on the second, until he was only having one feed a night. Then one magical night at about 18 months he slept through! After that I didn't feed if he woke up, just gave him a cuddle (he starts off in his cot then co-sleeps from first wake up).

He's now just turned 2 and wakes a couple of times most nights but goes straight back to sleep, the next challenge is moving him into his own room before his little brother arrives in March, wish me luck!