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Moving house derailed my sons sleep :(

4 replies

uselesss · 27/10/2021 10:39

He's never been a great sleeper - he's 2.5 and has refused naps since 18 months
But would sleep through the night from 7-7 which worked fine
We've now moved house and living with family for a while
He's got a fab room with a lovely comfy bed and has the same consistent bedtime routine
He won't fall asleep on his own but he didn't before I'd wait for him to fall asleep and then leave and that would be it until morning
Now it's taking longer for him to go off, gone 8pm most nights
And he wakes up a few hours later crying for me. If I make contact in anyway but don't go to him he goes beserk, if I say nothing and hope he settles himself he goes beserk, if I go in and comfort him he refuses to give in and tentatively watches me making sure I haven't left
Even after that if he does go back off he's up again doing the same thing in the middle of the night
So he always ends up in our bed where no one sleeps well and is up at 6:30 overtired and stroppy (as are all of us)
He's just started nursery settling sessions as well so he's over stimulated and exhausted
How he is waking up I have no idea - new stuff happening I understand but this has been going on for two weeks he must be shattered!? I am! It's getting very stressful and I worry about disturbing the rest of the house in the middle of the night so give in and take him to my room but that's an awful habit to break I know.
The super nanny style "say nothing and put him back" isn't working because after 10 days of that he is still at my legs by the time I've turned to leave. He opens the door and comes after me. Tell me this will end please?!

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FATEdestiny · 27/10/2021 11:52

He is scared, tgis is lead by anxiety.

Rather than being cold and stand-off-ish (a la Supernanny), I'd suggest he needs significantly more reassurance, care and compassion at sleep time.

For now, I'd either (a) sit with him and stay until he's fully asleep any time he wakes. Then plan for reducing his dependence on you in the long term. Or (b) if you don't have the patience or energy for that, bring his cot/bed into your room next to your bed. Then he has that constant reassurance without you needing to get up.

See image for a sidecar cotbed idea.

Moving house derailed my sons sleep :(
uselesss · 12/12/2021 22:49

Sorry for the delayed reply he's been non stop poorly since we moved and started nursery. But massively appreciate your response. I love the sidecar idea but not remotely possible - the room literally just big enough for our double bed. I've just been staying with him and then going into him when he wakes or he gets into our bed without us barely noticing. The sleep started out as the biggest issue but it quickly became him being constantly poorly. He's turned into a whole new child it's really very upsetting. He's stroppy about everything, doesn't want to eat or drink anything he used to. Everything taste sour or bitter or is too hot or too cold. He doesn't like toys he doesn't like Santa he doesn't like ANYTHING. Suddenly become a terrible 2 on the eve of turning 3! I wish the sleeping was still the biggest issue. Oh well, it can only get better! Thanks again

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DontPeeInThePlayHouse · 12/12/2021 23:00

How big is his room? My youngest has always been a crap sleeper so we got him a single bed rather than a toddlers so I could just climb in with him on a night.

Poor kids had a lot going on, nursery, a move, repeated illness...it's pretty normal for him to be behaving how he is. Also, the terrible twos just mutate into threeangers...but it seems like he's just grasping for control over a world that has turned on its head.

uselesss · 12/12/2021 23:59

Exactly that, I'm struggling to adjust and I understand what's going on. He's not got a clue and literally everything has changed. Feel so guilty for putting him through it but thought it happening together might help him. Nursery after lockdown was meant to be fun for him but he bloody hates it. That's after I've spent over £1000 on it already for him to be sick 80% of that time. So it all feels like it's gone to shit for no reason! Im sure we'll all settle eventually but no time soon. Every night he says he wants to go "real home" it's heartbreaking. He's got a box room and a fairly big cot bed. He adores his bed and his room. Even when he wakes in the night he'd rather I got to his room than come to mine. Sleeps eased since hes been getting over being sick. Let's hope the others do soon too 🤞🏻

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