Different tactics

[Ready2020]

My DD is a happy wee soul and generally an easy baby. She is 11 week weeks and breastfeeding.

I'm a very light sleeper and have anxiety and find it very difficult to sleep in the same room as her. OH used to have her in the lounge in the evening until the first feed an and I would sleep upstairs. We've had to now move her into the bedroom as her first feed was extending later into the night and OH needed to get to sleep for work. I still have the opportunity for 4 ish hours sleep before and a couple after OH takes her in the morning.

The issue we have is her dummy. She uses it to get to sleep and settles with it during the night. It's a pain in the ass tbh but OH and I have different ways of dealing with it during the night.

Because OH is awake when he is in with DD he will pop the dummy back in when he hears her smacking her lips and what he interprets as her looking for it and will cry if she doesn't get it. When I'm in with her in trying very hard to get to sleep (I pretty much don't sleep during 1am to 8am but that's another issue) and wear ear plugs to help me. Plus I don't want to be anticipating her every noise as it makes my anxiety worse. So generally I will put the dummy back in if she cries.

Who is doing it right? Is OH making her more dependent on it by anticipating her reaction? Should I not wait until she cries for it?

Neither way is wrong.

In an ideal world, resetting (ie, reinsertibg dummy) done before baby properly wakes up makes it easier. It means you get baby back to sleep as quickly as possible.

That said, it's not always possible or reasonable to respond so quickly. It doesn't mean waiting for a cry is wrong - it isn't. It is just likely to take a bit more effort to get baby back to sleep.

Its swings and roundabouts.

• If you respond quickly every time, you may have less quality of sleep yourself due to listening for baby, but then not need to wake up properly to resettle.
• If you take more time until you respond it means you can sleep more deeply. But on the occasions you do need to do a resettle, you're likely to need to fully wake up yourself to do it. That then makes going back to sleep (yourself) harder.

There is no right or wrong answer - just whatever is best for you.