How do I manage bedtime with a toddler and a 10 wk old when I'm on my own?

[LiliAnjelika]

Help! My partner is away tomorrow night and I can't think how the hell I'm going to manage bedtime. Currently my partner puts our 2.5 yr old dd to bed whilst I feed the baby (who usually cluster feeds for about two hours between about 7 and 9). I've tried it once before and it was sheer hell. The baby screamed whilst I tried, unsuccessfully, to put dd to bed. I tried feeding the baby in dd's room to calm him whilst at the same time reading to dd, who was understandably very put out. In the end I took dd downstairs and let her watch TV in pyjamas until the baby was done. Whilst it was some kind of solution it didn't seem right, and as my partner is going to be away all week from Febrary onwards I'm going to need a longer term solution (hopefully the baby will be in a better routine by then but in the meantime...?)

Hi, can you not feed the baby first and put it down in lounge, sort out dd as quickly as poss without making it too obvious you are rushing, then get back downstairs to feed baby when awake ? Not easy I know. I have 3 to settle on tuesdays and sometimes I am up and down the stairs all bloody evening. It helps now the baby goes to bed at 6 pm and sleeps through, so I have an hour to sort out the older two who go up at 7.

problem is the baby is impossible to settle unless he is absolutely sated - which means having breastfed for around 2 hours usually! I can't get him to take a dummy either. I may resort to a bottle of formula tomorrow night as it goes down quicker and seems to fill him up a for a few hours. I could then express when I come back down.

oh not easy is it ? Just do your best, and don't worry if dd goes to bed a bit later than usual. It should get easier when baby is older, then you can try to get him settled before your toddler, thats the easiest way to do it. Good luck x

Thanks chankins. You're an inspiration with three! it's hard to remember at what age my dd started to have a proper bedtime but i'm sure it was around the 3 month mark. I hope I can get baby into a routine before my partner goes away to work for real....

I had to do this for 3 weeks when dd2 was about 10 weeks old as dh was on a course. Looking back I am amazed with myself. It wasn't fun to start and involved leaving dd2 to cry something I had never had to do with dd1. Just tell yourself it is just one night this time. You will find your routine. I think I used to feed dd2 while doing story, pop her in her cot to have a quick cuddle alone with dd1 and leave her in her bed. I would then go back to dd2 usually crying in her cot (but at least she was safe), and carry on the feed until she eventually settled. If fact I think she just went to bed with me at that age. It is hard work and very tiring at a point when you are at your most exhausted, but you will manage and I am sure your baby will be in a better routine by Feb. Good Luck. It won't be forever.

what time is dd bedtime?
can u have her in her jammies early and prepped that "tomight will be slightly odd" make it a game for her, back to front night or something, if u can follow your old pattern of dd and resort to tv only if necessary that could become something she wont settle without if she hasnt been use to it.
baby will be ok if u have to attend to dd and although baby may cry, you ll soon be back.
my dh works away for 24 hrs and after my 2nd was born he was back to work on day 5, i just had to get on with it,
wil dd feed her baby, my dd did, and do a stroy and help cuddle the real baby, or pat whilst you feed and your chat may longterm have a soothing effect on the new baby..
i dont know just trying to suggest a few things

Do you have a sling?
I put all 3 little fishes to bed on my own so in beginning was a 3.2yr old,12mth old and newborn. I always bathed them together so they were in wind down mode. I also then would feed baby while reading story and then put them in sling while sorting out older children.

Can you put DD to bed before the baby?

Maybe get her to bed about 1845 then you can settle down for the couple of hours feeding knowing that she is settled.

I have 3 children, dd 5, ds1 just 4 and ds2 11 months. I used to take the baby up with me when I put them to bed and feed him while I read them a story but it's easier now ds2 is older as he won't need feeding at the same time they go to bed and is sometimes in bed before them, rarely though. My ds2 still wakes a lot even though he's 11 months and through the night so nont much has changed in that respect.