15 month regression

[Ree91]

Hi all,

DD has always been a 12 hour night sleeper which was great, used to have a milk and settle herself in the cot. Over the past 3 weeks she's started either refusing to go to sleep and instead jumps round in her cot, cries, babbles anything other than sleeping. Other nights she will go to sleep great, but wake up after a few hours and start doing all of these things. At first I thought it was her teeth, so she had medicine and milk to 're settle her back off, but 3 weeks later she is still fighting bed time no end and waking in the middle of the night. I've not spotted any new teeth and surely 3 weeks is a long time for 1 tooth to come through? She's absolutely great for her nap, usually sleeps around 11.30 for 2-3 hours and bedtime around 6.30. She's only now just settled to sleep after countless attempts any ideas?!

My first thought would be teeth, so I think your instincts were spot on.

But given it's not teething, my next suggestion is it's behavioural, alongside gross motor skills like independantly pulling to standing and walking.

So basically it comes down to teaching your child that while she can stand up at bedtime (as in, she is physically capable to standing herself up), that sleep time is not the right time to do this. So while she is physically able to, she in fact isn't allowed to (as in, you will not allow it because you're her parent and you know best).

This might be the first time you've ever come across unwelcome behaviour issues. It won't be the last time!

Basically it comes down to:
● very clear, simple expectations
• "you lie down at sleep time"
● Very firm boundaries
• Nothing apart from lying down is acceptable, so you will c9nstantly correct her when not lying down
● Consistancy
• get her to lie back down every-single-time. It might be a million repeats over and over again initially. But be anal about it. Keep on lying back down immediately over and over and over again, as long as it takes.

Over time, she will learn that your boundaries are tight, you will not give in, and so the battle stops.

@FATEdestiny thank you so much! She doesn't quite understand the words lie down just yet - would you suggest we physically lie her down ourselves or continue with patting mattress and saying sleep time (which we've been doing to no avail as she doesn't fully understand I don't think!). I do think you're right in it being behavioural though, there is nothing obviously wrong with her that we can see - definitely not hunger or dirty nappy etc.

Practice instruction following during the daytime, as a game. You may be surprised that while she doesn't have the language, she does understand. For example when shes coming to sit with you on the sofa, ask/encourage her up climb up herself.

Or do the pointing game - where's your feet? Where's the ball. Or fetching games - Take Teddy to Daddy. Bring mummy your dummy. Then action games - sit down, stand up, come here (climb onto sofa). Lots of cheering and clapping.

Assuming she is physically able to go from standing to sitting to lying down without any help, ideally stop lying her down in the cot. Put her in standing and tell her to lie down (as you're doing with tapping the mattress). But yes, if she could go this bit is refusing, you lie her down.

Could you move bedtime later? If she's waking from her nap at 3.30, she may need longer up time before going to bed?

@Fantail86

Could you move bedtime later? If she's waking from her nap at 3.30, she may need longer up time before going to bed?

Agree with this. That’s a mega early bedtime. She simply sounds not tired. Away from mumsnet, not many 15 month olds will do 12h at night and 2-3h of sleep during the day. The average amount of sleep for this age is 11-14h, which you are trying to exceed. Push bedtime back gradually to have more time between nap ending and bedtime occurring would be my suggestion.

Thanks for your helpful comments! I agree it's an early bedtime, however at that stage she's whinging and moaning, rubbing her eyes, yawning doing all the classic I'm tired signs! She's usually up between 6 and half 6 for the day in the morning and nursery absolutely knackers her out, hence the early bedtime!

I feel for you @Ree91 we are having the same issue with my little girl! We’ve tried extending her wake window from waking from her nap at 2.30pm and making bedtime 7pm - this meant she went to sleep without a fuss at bedtime, but then she was wide awake at 5.30am
I’m not sure what’s worse 😩

@Gigitree so hard isn't it! She had an hour nap in nursery yesterday and was awake from half 12 in the afternoon, so I thought great 6 hour wake window here, she will definitely be tired. Did that stop her from waking every 2 or 3 hours, no did it bugger when do they fix themselves ha I hope it's soon! How long has it been going on for you?

How much fresh air an physical exercise is your dc getting? At that age all my dc were on the move so would bring them for walks , beaches , playgrounds to tire them out, hours of fresh air and natural light works wonders. She doesn't sound tired enough. A few of my friends dcs didn't nap past 18 months ....

So I'm told she goes out everyday for at least an hour at nursery, and at home on the weekends every morning we go to the park or somewhere for a run around for your and half before morning nap, and then in the afternoon we either try and do some sort of soft play or she will play in the garden with her house and slide etc obviously weather depending! It's really difficult because she shows all the signs of being tired at bedtime, but just doesn't sleep!

I had no idea this was a thing. It's a right nightmare!

Thanks for the advice @FATEdestiny