@FATEdestiny 3mo complicated sleep issue

[Chocho87]

I have clearly gotten myself in a pickle. LO is 3 months old, combination fed but falls asleep on the boob. I have to start medication soon that is incompatible with breastfeeding. What do i do???

My boy actually doesnt particularly care where his calories come from, so bottle is absolutely fine. But falling asleep is a different matter. He is absolutely wanting a boobie.

Two ideas I have - introduce a dummy. Third day I am offering it when he's in a good mood (when crying just not an option, tried that as well) to get used to it and figure out what to do with it. No luck so far. Any specific way to get him to take to a dummy?

Also trying to start to gently break the association between boob and falling asleep for one of the day naps. Nope. 2 days he fell asleep when I rocked him, slept 15 min, screamed full steam until I gave him the breast, asleep in under 5 sec. Today I started rocking, screamed directly. Again breast, asleep in under 5 sec. I can continue trying if helpful.

I mean, I dont expect that it will be easy. But any ideas, guidance and suggestions will be much appreciated. We gotta get this done in the next 2 odd months, the sooner the better really. Not starting my medication is just not an option. Ftm here. What a stupid rookie mistake , but it is what it is. We had good three months. We both wanted to breastfeed so much and I never had enough milk so loads of boobie time.

xx

Sorry it's taken me so long to see your thread.

So... if you're needing to stop breastfeeding ASAP, the first thing you need to do is to actually decide that now is when you're stopping breastfeeding. So stop "giving in" (for want of a better phrase) and just don't feed, deal with the consequences of that, and ultimately help your baby learn to settle without the breast.

At 3 months old that is entirely doable.

Start off with calories - Feed far more frequently than you think baby needs. You cant stop breastfeeding until you are certain baby is getting plentiful calories from formula. So if you think baby needs 3 hourly feeds, feed 2 hourly. If you think baby will drink 3oz, make 5oz bottles. If you think baby is finished and refusing the bottle after 4oz, wind well and then reoffer the bottle to see of baby will take even more. Massively prioritise frequent feeds as much as big feeds.

That done (and assuming you wind well) then you know that any tears are due to tiredness. So don't question yourself - if baby is crying the reason is sleep.

So it then comes down to offering ample help to sleep.

• limited awake time between feeds
• Feed upon waking and also upon going to sleep (to be sure of calories)
• wind well
• then at sleep time - dumny in and movement.
• Be non stop and relentless about it. Just. Keep. Going.

Bouncy chair is good for consistant movement for daytime naps. Sit on the, bouncer at your feet, just keep non stop bouncing (with dummy) until asleep. Then keep movement going - non stop, rhythmic, relentless.

Then when baby wakes (however long it is)

• Wake
• Feed, wind, feed again
• Floor time
• First cry....
• Wind, back down on floor
• Second cry...
• Feed, wind, feed again
• immediately into bouncer with dummy and bounce non stop until asleep.

Wake and repeat....

Do you have a birthing ball/yoga ball? Bounce on that, in addition to nodding the babies head and shushing in the time with the bounces.

@FATEdestiny thank you for the advice! I am sort of in prep both pragmatically and emotionally so I know when I am doing it, I really am.

We are pretty good on the calorie side I think. We have been seeing a lactation consultant throughout and I know how much lo needs a day. He's getting now most of it through formula. We do weekly weigh ins to see how he's gaining weight as well (legacy from slow first weeks, he's gaining fine now).

What I am struggling at the moment is the introduction of a dummy. How?? When lo is in a good mood and I try introducing it he finds in hilarious and giggles, sucks and spits, plays with his tongue. If he's upset (e.g. crying in the car seat), pretty much the same, considers for a moment, sucks and spits.

@PerfectPrepPrincess I do actually, thank you for the idea. Not tried it yet but I will. So far for day naps lo has taken to the bouncy chair so he'll probably like the ball. Problem is he's pretty angry if in my arms and no breast. We have an association to break.

To get active sucking with the dummy use lots of the same techniques for getting a good breastfeeding latch.

● Never just put dummy in baby's mouth. Every time, make sure baby actively reaches for it.

● Tickle baby's cheek with teat so he reaches for it with his mouth. Similarly tickle top lip with teat so baby reaches upwards with mouth.

● when putting dummy in, aim upwards to the roof of the mouth, rather than backwards. This helps trigger sucking and avoid gagging

● Once in baby's mouth, gently tapping the outside of it triggers a sucking reflex.

● You may need to reinsert and tap a lot as baby goes to sleep, while baby learns.

● If dumny is just sitting limply in baby's mouth not being sucked, and tapping on it doesn't trigger sucking - remove the dummy and start again. Think of it like having a poor latch, in that you don't carry on doing the feed when you know baby isn't latched right. So remove dummy and start again with stroking cheek/upper lip to get baby to reach for it. It may need a few remove and start again, until baby learns.

● Pay attention to the type of sucking and you'll notice a difference as baby goes to sleep. Deep sucks at first are calming and soothing, aiming to relax. This lasts until eyes start closing and then you get comfort sucks.

● Comfort sucks are fluttery and intermittent, with periods of stillness in between. Reduce your need to tap to keep baby sucking through this phase (It will wake him up) but you may need to be there to reinsert if dummy drops. Baby is only light sleeping so still need s help to get into a deep sleep.

● About 5-10 mins after eyes close, you should get to deep sleep. This means all muscles go slack- including the jaw/mouth. So dummy drops at this point. It a meant to, you can move dummy away from baby's face now until it's next needed. I mention this because some assume dummy is meant to be in baby's mouth throughout sleep. It isn't, just the first 5-15 mins usually.

● If baby is either (a) hungry (b) in pain or (c) sleep deprived and over tired, then it's unlikely that just a dummy will stop any crying. Better to avoid all of these. But if on this screaming phase, add in movement and physical contact and eye contact to help.

Don't do birthing ball then if he's OK with bouncer!

Would you introduce first when falling asleep then? Can I it at a different time when lo is in a bit better mood. At night this will be difficult with the crying and all, considering he wont have a boobie. During the day, he's not pretty good at falling asleep in his bouncy chair without any other help but bouncing slightly and white noise.

At 3 months you can be giving baby a dummy any time when not feeding. So pretty much all the time.