No sleep, toddler and newborn, partner away on work

[Iliketreenames]

Hello mumsnetters.

I'm reaching out for any tips or advice any of you can offer me, I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old, and I am not getting ANY sleep.

My partner is away on work, my 2.5 year old has started night waking (after sleeping through for a good few months before baby arrived), and my baby wakes every 1.5 hours for a feed. My son wakes us up at 5/5.30am and as soon as we are up it starts all over again

Obviously I expected the sleep deprivation but I'm so tired I am having heart palpitations and it's really starting to affect my health! When my partner is home he will get up with my son in the morning which really helps, but my baby won't take a bottle so I don't get any help in the night with feeds

Now that I'm writing this I'm not really sure what I'm asking for but any words of advice or encouragement would be very welcome!

Oh and i should add my eldest has also just dropped his nap 🤦

From a frazzled, second time mum x

Hello, sounds tough! Is there a family member that can come and spend a night or two with you to get up with your toddler so you don't have to? Or even come for a few hours in the day to do eg the washing and cool a meal or two so you don't have to and you can have a nap? Don't know if that's an option for you but it may help. Also, could you put C-Beebies on in the norning for a bit of extra time in bed- I think that's what it's for :)
Good luck and, hard as it is, you'll get through it and it will improve x

Gosh- that sounds really tough.
No real help (just sympathy!), but my strategy would be go for any easy options- whatever makes it less difficult.
Have you friends with toddlers too?
Could you ask for an afternoon play, that you could return the favour of later?
All the best.

Oh OP it’s hard isn’t it,: does your 2.5 year old go to nursery? Is that an option a couple of mornings a week to give you a bit of a break? Then it would be you and your youngest so you could nap when they have their morning nap at least to catch up?
You sound exhausted!!

I bedshared. At five months they can nurse while you lie on your side very easily, so it's just popping them on when they wake and then nodding off again. Gets you far more sleep. If you're worried about them falling, move the mattress onto the floor.

Would definitely recommend putting toddler in nursery for a couple mornings a week if you can. I have a 2.5 year old and 13 month old and nursery 2 mornings a week for the eldest child has given me some breathing space.

Also my older child has started waking a few times a night the last couple of weeks due to teething and possibly feeling afraid I think. Is it possible yours is going through something like that? Hopefully it’s temporary for you! And introduce quiet time in the afternoon if he’s definitely done with napping.

You have my sympathy, it’s so hard to keep going all day and have the patience you need when you’re running on so little sleep.

Thanks so much for your reply, my mum.helps.for a few hours a week but tends to just play with my eldest son (which is actually a massive help!) But doesn't get me any more sleep 🙃 cbeebies is a great shout, maybe I shouldnt be so strict on the screen time!!

Thank you so much, I'm actually getting tearful reading all the replies! It's so nice to hear from people who understand.

A playdate is a great shout, I think maybe I need to get better at asking for help!

Hello this sounds so tough, you are doing an amazing job. I have a 2.4 year old and 8 week old, but partner still mostly WFH so not in the same position as you. Big yes to more cbeebies, even if its more than you'd like it's only for a short period in the big scheme of things. I also bedshare with the baby, would rather not in an ideal world but he takes ages to settle otherwise and I get way more sleep this way - did the same with my daughter and she moved into her own cot and room at 7 months with no issues. Also have 2 days a week childcare which makes a massive difference, so much easier just having the baby to wrangle! Can you get any other help eg cleaner once a week, big delivery of easy meals (we had a load from Cook which were pricy but great), friend to take toddler to the park or take baby for a walk in sling/pram so even if you can't sleep you can sit/lie down and rest? It's so hard asking for help but IME friends are pleased to be asked and v willing. Sending you lots of positive vibes and good luck!!