No daytime sleep and broken night sleep

[MummaBear333]

At my wits end with my son.

He is nearly one now and is refusing day sleep all together. If he does sleep, it's 30-40 mins max.

He is very clearly tried. I've tried driving in the car, out in the pram, bottle before sleepy, leaving him to cry but still no sleep is has. He just wails and cries, moans etc.

His night sleep is getting worse too. Waking every hour or every couple of ours and being inconsolable or wide awake.

In the mornings he is then waking up really early, before 6am.

Last night it too us 2 hours to get him to sleep only for him to be away an hour later. It's soul destroying especially when I know he is tried and I give him every opportunity to sleep.

I'm losing my patience with him because I am utterly exhausted mentally and physically.

Lack of sleep is so difficult to deal with.

How long has it been like this for? If it's just a few days could he be sick? Teething? Coming down with something? If so try calpol.

Have you thought about controlled crying. I know it may have a bad reputation and I am into gentle parenting. But I used it in my own way (less strict) and it really worked after day 2. It helped with bed times and naps.

It could just be a growth spurt / sleep regression. So you may just need to ride it out.

@Olivegreenstrawberries have been giving calpol every night almost for a week now.

He is teething and had a temp spike the other night but nothing gets him to sleep. I've given teething powder, the teething gel. He still wakes up.

I don't mind letting him cry. We usually leave him 10-15 mins to try and settle himself before we go in but he would cry for hours and doesn't help us any because we are still getting no sleep.

Today I can't even speak to him because im so tired.

Is he trying to walk or anything?
Development can cause sleep to go to pot.
White noise machine saved my life.
When he does fall asleep in the day, does he just give up and fall asleep?

Ok well controlled crying is not about leaving them for 10 - 15 mins. It's about going back at intervals. First 1 min, then 2 mins, then 4, then 8. By then they will probs self soothe. If they haven't self soothed by then I would think he is sick.

Since his temp has been up, I think it's maybe just a case of surviving until he's properly better. Cuddling, rocking to sleep or co sleeping.

I hope he sleeps for you 💐

@moonshine3600 yes definitely trying to walk with Walker and standing independently now so a lot going on developmentally I know but doesn't help when I feel so tired I feel sick. It can't rationalise that.

We use white noise all night and also for falling asleep.

When he does sleep he either, fall asleep drinking a bottle or you put him down awake and within 10 mins he is out for the count.

But today I left him a full 20 mins and he was not up for sleeping. Standing in the cot, screaming, rolling around. And he just have been shattered. He was awake since 5.30am, very broken sleep through the night and only a 20 min car nap!

@Olivegreenstrawberries and when you go back is it just verbal reassurance? Picking up? Patting?

Could you co-sleep? At this stage I would just prioritise being settled and sleeping in whatever way it came.

@MCMelon definitely not! Never have and never could. He is too wriggly. I'd be paranoid one of us would roll on him or cover him with the duvet.

He doesn't settle in our bed anyway. We soon as we bring him even when just if he's woken early he just tried to climb the headboard or crawl over us.

Is this a short term issue, or a long term issue?

If he has always not left well or very much, then you need to look at behavioural solutions like sleep training.

If he was previously sleeping well and had just recently changed, then you need to look at coping mechanisms to get through this, rather than changing anything major.

[quote MummaBear333]@Olivegreenstrawberries and when you go back is it just verbal reassurance? Picking up? Patting?[/quote]
Well to the book is that you start with verbal and a pat and then gradually do less. But I put him back down each time and rubbed his back but didn't talk. So it still worked with not being quite as strict. When I did this he never cried longer than 8 minutes. It took 2 nights to do the trick.

@FATEdestiny never been the best sleeper or napper. Very inconsistent but would at least get some sleep before.

Now it just seems like he is surviving in very little sleep at all.

@Olivegreenstrawberries I'll need to maybe give this a go.

I can't take it much longer

In that case I suspect it's behavioural. I would make a rule that he must lie down in the cot at sleep time, then keep repeatedly lying him back down over and over again.

Doesn't matter if he lies there awake, just hold to firm boundaries that at sleep time he lies down and is quiet.