How do I safely co sleep?

[NavyNails2]

We don't co sleep routinely but my 10 month old is going through a bit of a phase of poor sleep again at the moment and sometimes I just want to bring her into our bed to try and get some rest. I obviously understand we need to keep pillows and duvet away from her but how does that work? Does that mean me and DH have to not have a duvet? Also, guidelines say to not let baby sleep between two adults due to risk of overheating, but I'd be far too worried to have her on the edge of the bed, even if there are pillows as a barrier. Any advice would be grateful received.

After another awful night I'm even more desperate for any tips. Anyone???

Have you been on the lullaby trust website?

Yeah, it's more the actual practicalities of implementing what they say. Its difficult to follow all their suggestions without just sleeping on an empty mattress with no pillows or duvet, which I can't imagine is what co sleeping parents do. (Although maybe they do?? I don't know)

At 10 months, a lot of the risk has passed because the bigger they are, the less risk there is. At a certain age you can just put them in bed and they'd push the duvet away or complain if it went on them!

I used to have a cot bed strapped to one side of the bed, though a fixed bed rail works as well. Baby in their sleeping bag, always on the open side of you, never between you and partner. You lie in a curve around the baby. Tuck duvet in under your belly and wear a cardigan/fleecy pyjamas etc to keep yourself warm at night. If you're in a C-shape then you can naturally keep the duvet below the level of your arm. Put a muslin on the surface where the baby will sleep to soak up gross milk slobber. You can sleep with a pillow but your head is on the very edge and it's tucked up under your head so the baby can't come near it.

I sleep in the spare room I'm afraid. Start baby off in cot (and me in my own bed with DP), and it varies how many hours he will do, but at some point in the night he wakes and I just can't face resettling him. I have the double bed up against the wall (no gaps) so he can't roll off (he sleeps wall side and I face him), and I have one flat pillow which I push backwards so the edge is where my head rests and none sits above where baby's head is. I wear a warm fleecy pyjama top and tuck the edge of the duvet around my legs, waist and lower back so the excess hangs onto the floor and none on the bed (so it's like a duvet sleeping bag no higher than my waist)

Also - don't do it if you have a memory foam mattress, it's squishy and the baby can sink down and overheat. If you were worried you could have a bare mattress on the floor and wear something very warm (like pyjamas with fleecy onesie over the top) and do without a duvet.

I found it began to be uncomfortable around the one year mark when my babies got longer and didn't fit in the curve of my body the same way, it hurt my back.

we put the mattress on the floor, to avoid the risk of rolling - def didn't want her in the middle, DH is huge! I also took the side off an Ikea cot - the Gulliver I think - and set it up as a larger co-sleeper, but she had no interest in ever being in it.

But yes, everyone I know who did it did sleep with no duvet. I had a dressing gown I slept in I think, and v warm pjs. At some point we switched to having a small duvet on our side of the bed, maybe she was one? But at the start, no duvet.

I spent the last month on my mattress on the floor no blankets or duvets pushed against wall

I had a pillow for me up high and baby power in bed away from pillow and her head in crook of my arm basically

Sleep on your side so you can’t roll

The lullaby trust website has all info you need

I wore layers to keep me warm! A big jumper and thermal leggings 😂

Baby in her sleep bag

Not ideal but it got us through a tough spot

Are you breastfeeding?

By that age I was using a thin summer duvet with additional blanket if required (sleeping with a baby is like sleeping with a hot water bottle anyway) and pillow, DD was breastfed to sleep so generally slept at nipple level therefore no where near the pillow.

We had a mattress on the floor from around that age as she was too mobile to trust her up on our bed which is quite high or in a cosleeper which she could have easily toppled over the side of.

If your baby is struggling and needs cuddling or breastfeeding for long periods in bed I'd recommend getting a memory foam pillow designed for going between your knees/thighs. It'll save your back.

Thank you all so much for the tips, I'm really hoping it won't be a long term thing, she's slept well in her cot until a couple of weeks ago, so hopefully it'll only be on the really rough nights! Looks like I need to invest in some very warm pjs 😆

I used to wear fleecy pyjamas with a onesie. I didn't use a duvet but had a chunky woollen blanket (the type with lots of holes in it). I lay on the edge of the pillow so none of it was near the baby. It wasn't massively comfortable but got us more sleep so was worth it.

When I coslept frequently, I slept on a mattress on the floor with no duvet and only a small firm pillow. I wore thermals under my pyjamas and had what was effectively a large cellular blanket to have over my legs tucked between my knees. I relaxed a lot when DS was about 14mo.

I do the same as others, quilt around my hips and long sleeved top - I’ve just ordered a nursing jumper for winter. I have a co-sleeper cot so try and transfer back to their but sometimes he just won’t have it.

I use a pillow but baby is at breast and so I don’t see that’s a risk.

I slept in our spare room on a mattress on the floor with DD between me and the wall. When she was tiny no duvet just layers but I always had a pillow as Dd was at noon level so nowhere near my pillow. Once she was at 14 or 15 months, I started using a duvet and just made sure it was only on my half of the bed and the other half on the floor - its weight naturally kept it there.