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Sleep

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Original poster

Yup, the 4 month Sleep Regression.. do I need to sleep train?

16 replies

BessieBye · 03/10/2021 05:07

Can anyone please tell me if I MUST sleep train to get through the 4 month sleep regression? Or will they grow out of it themselves?

She’s also trying to roll so thing that plays a part in her waking.

Awake every hour last 2 nights, and it’s not crying, it’s full blown kicking and throwing arms and legs about whilst chatting and smiling!!!

Read loads about it.. but so I actually have to teach her to self settle to get through this? I tried a few weeks ago, but was taking her 40 mins to fall asleep on her own as she just kept chatting, despite doing bed time routing and she seemed tired/been awake 2.5 hours since last nap.

I can’t be arsed basically to sit and do it for 40 mins when cuddling her to sleep is too easy. I am just so exhausted by the end of the day. Never been a problem til last few nights…so yeah, will she grow out of it herself soon or do I need to pull my finger out?

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Amammai · 03/10/2021 05:20

She’ll grow out of it , though it can take time! But cuddling/rocking/feeding to sleep is SO normal at this age and usually means quick and painless resettling for everyone. In a few months time she may need something different but for now, I’d go with what works for you both and just enjoy the cuddles. Even the worst sleeping pre-schoolers won’t still be waking every hour, they do out grow it eventually:

mishmased · 03/10/2021 05:25

@BessieBye I don't think you can sleep train through the four month regression. My baby is 19 weeks and we seem to be getting to the end of this. Your baby is learning to do things and will hopefully go back to their sleep pattern after this period. Also not advisable to sleep train under six months. It is literally about survival for now so whatever makes life easier for you 😂
With mine once fed and changed at night and she's happy I put her back in the next to me and turn off the light or else she will keep chatting and screeching happily. She sucks her thumb and goes back to sleep. If she's not happy then more rocking. Hope it gets better for and you get more sleep soon.

Skyla01 · 03/10/2021 05:38

My baby is eight months old and has slept terribly since four months. no sign of outgrowing it yet :(

Bigoldmachine · 03/10/2021 05:43

No! Absolute worst time to sleep train IMO. Just have to ride it out. (Sorry I do know it’s the pits)

Original poster

BessieBye · 03/10/2021 06:02

Thank you all!
I’ll clarify that by sleep train, I meant self soothing and putting down awake and letting fall asleep.. I’m personally not for ‘cry it out’.

I really enjoy the cuddles… I enjoy cuddling to sleep and we contact nap and I love it! I seem to get pressured by the ‘put your baby down awake and let them fall asleep themselves or else they will always wake in the night’ stuff you see all over!

I think exhaustion gets the best of me and I constantly think I’m doing something wrong

Thanks again 😊

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HushLittleDarling · 03/10/2021 06:45

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ReeseWitherfork · 03/10/2021 06:56

You've answered it yourself really, you like the cuddles, so cuddle away! Bollocks to anyone who says you can't or that you're making a rod for your own back. Check out Lyndsey Hookaway on Instagram.

Original poster

BessieBye · 03/10/2021 07:41

Thank you @ReeseWitherfork… I think at 5am, in the midst of exhaustion, I needed to put my thoughts into words and speak to other parents 😂 sometimes that’s all you need to realise what is best! It’s why I love this site. It has helped me from getting pregnant, being pregnant and postpartum. Grateful!!

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ReeseWitherfork · 03/10/2021 08:37

@BessieBye yeah I feel the same, it's invaluable. My DS is two now and it took me a while not to panic that I was setting up bad habits. I was more worried about making my life harder later down the line than what was right for me and him in the moment. Wish someone had told me not to worry about the future, everything changes and anything is fixable. I'm confident you'll make it through the regression with plenty of cuddles and nothing more 🤞

FinallySomeNormality · 04/10/2021 15:58

No answers - but solidarity as I'm in the midst of 4mo sleep regression right now. I'm scared if I don't set good habits now he'll never go back to good sleep!!! But then, part of me just needs to survive this first - I'm knackered and honestly don't feel ready or emotionally capable or resilient enough at the moment to start it all.

DS used to sleep through... now wakes every few hours. Has reintroduced a night feed too so I think there is a lot of growth spurt stuff behind it too. Naps have always been shite... and still are, so no change there!

Harrysmummy246 · 04/10/2021 17:08

@BessieBye

Can anyone please tell me if I MUST sleep train to get through the 4 month sleep regression? Or will they grow out of it themselves?

She’s also trying to roll so thing that plays a part in her waking.

Awake every hour last 2 nights, and it’s not crying, it’s full blown kicking and throwing arms and legs about whilst chatting and smiling!!!

Never have to sleep train. Nothing wrong with cuddling. They won't need it forever (I basically get dismissed now) and I was the ultimate gentle, cosleeping, BF whenever sleep-anxiety ridden PBF mother.

Usuallyhappycamper · 04/10/2021 20:21

They grow out of everything eventually. I am a firm believer in dp what is easiest for you in the middle of the night. You are the one getting up, so sod the "rod" comments. My 3 year old still comes in the bed with us on nights when he wakes up as it's a lot quicker than resettling him in his own bed.

Original poster

BessieBye · 04/10/2021 20:41

Thank you again everyone for reassuring me!

We’re having a bit of a nightmare, but I’m hoping it even just gets a bit easier soon. I think the fact she is desperate to be on her side, but keeps flopping backwards, plays a huge part in the wake ups! Every time she unrolls she wakes up

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pregnantncnc · 04/10/2021 22:00

4 month sleep regression was horrible for us. DS honestly barely slept for 3 weeks (and consequently neither did we), but at the other side of it he started sleeping through for upwards of 13hrs a night. And we did not sleep train, just lots of cuddling to sleep.

By all means, if baby is happy coo-ing and chatting in the night, then let them be. Or pick them up and cuddle off to sleep. I'm also a believer of doing whatever is easiest for you to get the most sleep. We've BF to sleep, rocked/cuddled to sleep, put down in cot awake but happy to drift off, coslept/bedshared, sang to toddler while he lay in his cot, and probably many others things - just doing whatever worked best at the time. Whenever I say that it makes DS sound like a bad sleeper, and we've definitely had rough patches but overall he's been great and I think largely because we've just tried to ride every rough patch out (the worst was when DS was 8mo and I tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep better, got really obsessive and frustrated and probably made it worse).

Original poster

BessieBye · 05/10/2021 07:53

@pregnantncnc these are the types of stories I wanna hear! And I also feel you when you say you got obsessive and frustrated. It’s nice to know others are pretty much doing what they need to survive instead of following rules & strict routines.

Last week I got myself so frustrated during the night, I felt angry at one point and I didn’t like that… so before I reach over to her, I count until i feel much calmer, then I can deal with the situation with less stress. I firmly believe babies pick up on stress!
She very rarely cries during the night.. it’s just excitement 😂

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pregnantncnc · 05/10/2021 14:09

Oh yes they ABSOLUTELY pick up on stress. Even now my son is a toddler, if I'm worked up around nap time and am feeling a bit desperate for him to go to sleep for a break, you can guarantee that he'll need long cuddles/a special song/etc before falling asleep, as I think it makes him feel stressed too.

For us the 4m regression was bad, and the 8-10m one was awful awful awful, but both acted like a reset and sleep was unbelievably better after each one. I have every hope for you!

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