won't stop crying!

[columbolover]

My ds is almost 10 months. For the past 2 or 3 days he's bit quite clingy, not playing with his toys and just clibing all over me. Not upset or unhappy or anything though. However he is just refusing to go to sleep at night too.

Just now he is screaming in his cot. I feel terrible but scared I'm going to scream too!
I put him to bed at 7 as usual, after usual routine, bath, milk etc. But he's just screaming. I usually rub his back for a while, give him his dummy and normally he drifts off, but for the past couple of nights he's been having what sounds like a full blown tantrum. I got him back up a while ago - after cuddling him and putting him back down didn't work. He fell asleep for 2 minutes but just woke up and started screaming again. I don't know what to do..dh away and not back til later tonight. I feel so useless and such a bad mum for leaving him to cry - I never usually do this - or have to either.
I'll just go and get him back up - don't know what else to do and feel as though am going to cry too

Any suggestions and sorry for the ramble.

sounds like he might be ill or teething. have you tried calpol? I'm not usually a great believer in calpol as the answer to everything but in this case it's probably worth a go.

There's nothing wrong with getting him up for a cuddle especially if it's saving your sanity.

oh dear. It does sound like something might be bothering him. Also it is the time when they suddenly become aware of seperation anxiety so its not unusual.
if it makes it easier for you co-sleep with him just so that he knows you are there. Lots of cuddles and reassure him that you are not leaving him.
it might be that he is poorly so you need to keep an eye on that too.
If its the fact that he just wants you then give him what he wants. He is only 10 months old remember and not a 'child' as yet. he still needs your touch and reassurance as he is just a baby.
If you need a break remember it wont hurt him if you go down to the kitchen have a little drink of tea and then go up again calmer than you were.

((hugs)) to you

I would agree with BWM - if he is normally fine then he might be ill or teething. How is he doing now? Has he stopped crying?

thanks for your reply

Well, he has cut a tooth in the last couple of weeks. I gave him some calpol a couple of hours ago as he was chewing his fingers like mad. I've got him back up and he's on my knee grinning at me! of course, I feel much better too, but want my evening back and dreading putting him back to bed!

I don't think I want to do controlled crying.

Think will keep him up for a while - full of beans now anyway. Do you think it might be start of separation anxiety?

I'm up with the calpol. If they calm down in 20 mins or so, you know something was hurting and you've done the right thing!

it could be a combination of the both tbh. If he has just cut a tooth then it could be another coming through.
IMO there is no need for controlled crying as long as he knows that you are there for him he will settle eventually. cuddle him until he begins to get sleepy then put him down. it will be easier for him to associate the cot with warm comfortable sleepy mummy cuddles rather than a screaming unhappy place

thanks squimlet. Normally I'm in his room at the drop of a hat when he starts crying and he settles really quickly. We used to do co sleeping with him..will try that tonight if he doesn't settle. Maybe he is stil teething. Its so hard to think straight when their crying!

We had this when ds1 was teething and also had separation anxiety. I would agree with the suggestion of co-sleeping for a few weeks or putting his cot in your bedroom so you can reach out and reassure him when he starts to wake. We found that it was a phase that ds1 went through and we just gritted our teeth. In total, it lasted from April to the start of November. (Exacerbated by the arrival of ds2, I think.) Absolutely draining, but only temporary...

seriously though anything to make your life easy. there is no joy in letting your baby cry if it upsets you at all. you know what is best for you and bubs so trust your instincts. You sound like thats what you do anyways so keep it up

I hope you have an easier evening

DD does this every time she teethes. In the last 3 weeks she has developed 5 teeth including a molar completely out of order of the way they are supposed to come through so I am now THE expert! (well on DD anyway )

Play with him for half an hour or so then go up and re-do the non bath bit of the routine then give some exra cuddles and put him down. It may be that he sries for a minute or two but hopefully the Calpol will have kicked in so you know he is not in so much pain.

DD wakes in the night too when she is teething so we do the same thing if she won't settle. If you think he is a lot of pain try the Powders and bonjella but if all else fails give him a small dose of Ibroprofen as well. You can alternate this with Calpol safely in these situations but don't give one on it's own more than once every 4 hours.

Fingers crossed for you!

oh and another thing that might help is chamomilla. I get mine from my homeopath, and it makes ds from the grumpy little sole he can be to a pleasant little man

Thanks for all your messages, feeling much calmer

Ds is in bouncy chair, looking quite bored so hopefully sleep is imminent! He is never awake at this time so something must be wrong, probably more teeth are comimg, he's still only got the one. I've rubbed some calgel on his gums, which he loves. However, forgot that I could give him some nurofen in case he is teething, he had calpol couple of hours ago so knew I had ages to wait.

I'll see how it goes, dh is home in an hour..if ds still awake (surely not !)he can put him to bed!

The chammomile is a good idea too.
Thanks again

thats good to hear columbolover . If he likes the calgel then its a good indication that its teeth
And good idea to let dh put him to bed if he is still awake when he retuns. Dont stress on it whatever you decide to do.

You can get the chamomilla from helios