Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

13 month old still won't sleep through

50 replies

Pep12 · 28/09/2021 22:21

Has anyone got any advice for a 13 month old who won't sleep through. I can count on one hand the amount of times shes ever slept through and with going back to work, im really struggling. I feel like I have tried everything. What naps she has in the day doesnt seem to effect it, she has a good bedtime routine and goes to sleep on her own really well. She wakes anytime between 2.30 and 4.30 and the only thing that calms her down is milk. I've tried giving her water as I dont think she can be hungry (she eats well and has a full bottle before bed so I think its habit) I've tried leaving her to self settle but she just screams and wakes my 5 year old. When she's had her milk she's hit and miss whether or not she goes back down to sleep or not. Im absolutely exhausted so any suggestions are welcome 🙏

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/09/2021 22:24

What’s the schedule look like? You will prob have to have the odd night of crying where you give her water, do it on a Friday so if she wakes your other child it’s less of an issue.

DoItAfraid · 28/09/2021 22:26

Probably not what you want to hear but you need to stop the night time milk. Start on a Thurs and hopefully by Monday everyone will have moved on.

Original poster
Pep12 · 29/09/2021 07:42

She has a short nap in the morning and afternoon. 3 meals and snacks before her naps. I've tried cutting down naps, longer naps, one big nap instead of 2. Yeah I think I do need to cut it out, its just easy when she's screaming to give her milk and give in. Thanks 🤞🏻

OP posts:
MrsCremuel · 29/09/2021 08:38

My DS started to sleep through at 16 months. He was breastfed and still had night feeds at this time but something just clicked and he could settle himself. I really think that for some children sleep is just developmental. Sorry, not what I wanted to hear at the time.

Thisbastardcomputer · 29/09/2021 09:15

Sorry for offering no advice, we didn't get a full nights sleep until he started school.

Original poster
Pep12 · 29/09/2021 20:50

Oh my gosh I cant cope til then 😂 my first slept through from 3 months so we were really lucky! I'm going to try cutting out the night feed because I'm sure she csnt be hungry the amount shes putting away in the day, I think its just habit. We will see how it goes xx

OP posts:
MummaBear333 · 30/09/2021 04:14

@Pep12

I could have written this myself! When you find out please let me know. Same position with my 11 month old son.

whereislittleroo · 30/09/2021 05:31

I have a 6 year old, 4 year old and 18 month old, none of whom sleep through regularly so my advice comes from a different angle. It sounds simple but is difficult in reality. It is that I actually go to bed as soon as the kids are asleep at least 3 nights a week. Every night would be a bit much, as I want to spend time with my husband or watch TV, read etc. but if about 3 nights a week I go to bed super early, I can get a decent chunk of sleep before everyone starts waking up and it helps me get through the week. I only work part time though, if full time maybe I would need another solution, but this helps me cope right now.

Hopefullysweatmightbewee · 30/09/2021 05:37

It’s so hard when your first sleeps! Mine did too and I thought it was my excellent parenting skills 😂 What a fool.

Second is 3 and started regularly (not every night) sleeping through at 2.5. I did nothing different, it’s just his personality.

Luckystar1 · 30/09/2021 06:42

I’m in the same position too 😭.

I know it’s partially my own fault as I’m still breastfeeding so I take him in beside me at night, but I just can’t stand losing any more sleep.

That being said my older 2 weren’t good sleepers either, so I’m hoping it’s just a matter of time. 🤞🤞🤞

users689033 · 30/09/2021 07:19

Biologically normal.
I still breastfeed during the night 3.5 years on

Original poster
Pep12 · 30/09/2021 09:21

She woke at 2.30 last night, I offered water and changed her nappy then put her back down. After about half an hour of me going in every 5 mins to her crying and lying her back down, she went back off until 7.30 🙌🏻 so im going to stick with offering water and letting her self settle and hope she gets out if the habit of wanting milk in the night 🤞🏻

OP posts:
allofthecheese · 30/09/2021 09:23

Mine has been like this and only slept through (for the first time EVER, I could have cried) at 16 months. Since then has only done it a handful of times since. I really think it's developmental. Some kids just take longer. Sigh. Hope it gets better for the both of us!

users689033 · 01/10/2021 03:10

There's no such thing as learning to self settle at that age.
She's simply tired of crying.
I don't know why the western world seems to think babies should sleep through the night, as pp said it's developmental. It saddens me when it's forced.

Betsyboo87 · 01/10/2021 13:33

My 15 month old sleeps through about 50% of the time. The rest of the time he can take over an hour to be settled again. I went back to work when he was 7 months and only slept through once every couple of weeks. I just wanted to say you will cope! I never thought I was good on less sleep but my body/brain seems to have adapted and I’m used to it.

Original poster
Pep12 · 01/10/2021 19:04

@users689033

There's no such thing as learning to self settle at that age. She's simply tired of crying. I don't know why the western world seems to think babies should sleep through the night, as pp said it's developmental. It saddens me when it's forced.
As a Nursery Manager, children do learn to self soothe, that is part of their development as stated in the framework. I didnt ask for peoples opinions of self settling, I asked for tips for getting them to sleep through. I obviously don't leave her to scream for hours and cry til shes "tired of crying". She wakes and cries to come in my bed or for milk out of habit.
OP posts:
Original poster
Pep12 · 01/10/2021 19:05

@Betsyboo87

My 15 month old sleeps through about 50% of the time. The rest of the time he can take over an hour to be settled again. I went back to work when he was 7 months and only slept through once every couple of weeks. I just wanted to say you will cope! I never thought I was good on less sleep but my body/brain seems to have adapted and I’m used to it.
I'll take 50% haha. She stirred a couple of times last night but pretty much slept all night so hopefully were turning a corner x
OP posts:
users689033 · 04/10/2021 06:20

She wakes and cries to come in my bed or for milk out of habit.

It's for her need of comfort and inability to self soothe.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 04/10/2021 06:30

You know what? Some babies just don't sleep through and there's nothing "wrong" with that.
We are conditioned to think that they must do and then tear our hair out when they don't and try to fix them.
I think it can just be personality.
My son is 2 and has slept through the night less than 10 times in his life. Weirdly two of those were last night and the night before.

I think I was still BF one feed I'm the night at 13months then by 17months he was down to a cosy sippy cup of cow's milk before bed and no feed in the night. But guess what....he still woke up!
There's not always a fox for the situation

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 04/10/2021 06:30

Fix not fox ha!

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 04/10/2021 06:33

@users689033

She wakes and cries to come in my bed or for milk out of habit.

It's for her need of comfort and inability to self soothe.

Agreed. My boy wakes once in the night and if I were to try and get.hom back down into his cot it'd be hours of tears and tantrums.

I go through when I hear him cry, pick him up and tell him it's ok, mummy is here, bring him into me and DH's room and he's practically asleep before I'm laying down with him again.
Its not what I had planned, it's not ideal, but it is quite sweet waking up with him and I'm pacified to know he is happy being close to us and getting the reassurance he needs.

users689033 · 04/10/2021 06:37

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend here here.

My dc is 3.5, we bed share and I breastfeed throughout the night.

It would be amazing if they slept through but I love being able to provide comfort, security and reassurance.

--Remembers your username from lurking on
MAFSUK threads--

cptartapp · 04/10/2021 07:36

I filled them full of porridge at bedtime.
Wasn't afraid to let them whinge, never ever brought them into our bed and encouraged reliance on blankets and teddies for comfort. Great sleepers from 4 or 5 months when I stopped bf.
Probably luck too of course.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 04/10/2021 07:53

I tried the porridge thing and guess what?! It didn't work ;)

This is my point, you can listen to x,y,z "fixes" and people like the above pp who conditioned their children that they weren't going to get comfort from them. I personally couldn't leave a baby knowing they wanted mum or dad to comfort them. They are too young to know manipulation...they want to be close to you because that is the natural thing. They are still very young....

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/10/2021 08:01

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend

I tried the porridge thing and guess what?! It didn't work ;)

This is my point, you can listen to x,y,z "fixes" and people like the above pp who conditioned their children that they weren't going to get comfort from them. I personally couldn't leave a baby knowing they wanted mum or dad to comfort them. They are too young to know manipulation...they want to be close to you because that is the natural thing. They are still very young....

Oh you think you’re better than mothers who sleep train- personally I judge mothers who think it’s ok to let an older baby or toddler wake 6 times a night as some kind of justification for their parent choices. People: adults and children need sleep - controlled crying and cry it out are different- I suggest you do your research and appreciate why some people ie. working parents with more than one little darling need a solution to multiple wakings.