5 month old only feeds to sleep - will this get better?

[AKM89]

My beautiful 5 month old boy only naps (unless in pram or the car) and goes to sleep at night by feeding. In relation to naps, I’m pretty sure he isn’t getting enough sleep during the day (1.5-2 hours / day max). He has 3-4 hours of 30 mins each. I’ve tried everything to extend them to no avail (won’t take a dummy - despite being given one in the neonatal unit -, won’t sleep in bouncer, even on long walks in pram or sling wakes after 30 mins pretty much on the dot). For the last few weeks he has also been waking hourly throughout the night and when he cries only nursing will get him to sleep (he sometimes wakes and “chats” and then eventually seems to bore himself to sleep).

I am exhausted, but nursing and co-sleeping when he won’t settle seems like the only way to get by. However, I am returning to work at 11 months and my husband is taking SPL. I appreciate this is some time away, but I am worried that this will be continuing by then. Not only will this make it difficult for my husband, but I have a very demanding job and it will be impossible to do it if I am up every hour in the night. I am also concerned that I am really not the best mummy I can be during the day if I am exhausted (it’s tiring enough keeping a 5 month old entertained). Interested in stories from those who have been in the same boat, and whose babies developed to be able to self soothe / fall asleep independently. I realise this might be the tail end of the 4 month sleep regression.

Sorry for the ramble.

Honestly OP baby schedules change weekly, a 5 month old and an 11 month old aren’t comparable. My Youngest who is now 11 months got into a routine of decent naps etc from about 7 months- I stopped breastfeeding at 9 months and we just rock her to sleep after a bottle.

Doesn’t last for ever even though you think it when in the midst!

My boy is / was like this. 3 x 30 min naps a day, unless we're in the car, and if im holding him he'll sleep a bit longer.

Does your baby sleep well at night? Is his lack of sleep during the day a problem for him or a problem for you? I was frustrated when my boy fell into a 3 x 30 min pattern, but he sleeps so well at night, the lack of daytime sleepndoesn't bother him, it only bothers me because I don't get things done!

I might get a lot of hate for this, but I think the only way you can get rid of the feeding sleep association is by sleep training (if you want to get rid of it that is) and don't worry about going back to work at 11 months - he will be different then.

My six month old baby has short naps too and I feed to sleep. I feel like I should be improving the situation but I don’t feel inclined to spend hours of my day patting and shushing when a feed will do the trick. Bit lazy I know…. With my oldest I still fed her to sleep for naps at home but when she started nursery she fell asleep easily there on her own.

I appreciate this post was 12 months ago but my LO is exactly the same at the moment and I would love to hear when it got easier for you?

@PSH sending lots of love, sleep deprivation is hard!

For us, my son’s sleep massively improved about 2.5-3 months ago (he was just over 13 months), when we night weaned. A lot of people say it might not make a difference but for us it really did - he went from 3-4 wake ups to sleeping through in about two weeks (and that was with a holiday abroad thrown into the mix). I tried a couple of gentle night weaning techniques but my sense was he found those quite confusing so in the end I went cold turkey and just decided to no longer feed to sleep for naps and at night (I held him to sleep instead).

It’s a very personal decision, and I also think it won’t work unless the baby is developmentally ready, but for us it felt like that was no other option - I’d been back at work a few months and was dropping balls left, right and centre due to the lack of sleep. Our thought at the time was that even if it didn’t address the waking at least it might mean my husband could in time help with some of the night settling. It also didn’t mean cutting out all feeding - at the time I fed in the morning, at nursery pick up / when I got back from work, and before the bed time story (we’re now down to just that last one). This will be controversial, but it also massively improved my son’s enjoyment of both nursery and day to day life - it was clear to me that he was struggling from lack of sleep.

What age is your little one? If not old enough to night wean my best advice is to lean into coffee, cake, fresh air and pram walks. But when my little boy was ready, for us night weaning made a massive difference. Good luck! Let me know if there’s any specific questions I can help with but for us it really was just trial and error.

Thank you for taking the time to get back to me - I’m so glad things have improved for you!

My LO is 5.5 months. We have had a few weeks of bad nights due to COVID and the 4 month sleep regression I think? Luckily nights do seem to be improving and we are down to 2 or 3 night wake ups which I can deal with! My main worry is that she will only fall asleep whilst nursing (unless in the car or pram which isn’t always practical) and will only nap in the day for 30 minutes. When did your LO lengthen naps?

I am also concerned about making habits worse by continuing to feed to sleep. I am a bridesmaid at a wedding in a couple of months and I had hoped I would be able to leave her for a few hours!