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HELP! 8 month old will only nap on me…

9 replies

Jesstass · 27/09/2021 11:43

I’m a FTM and my 8 month old has always fallen asleep on me or my husband for naps. I’ve tried putting her down but she immediately wakes and then won’t go back to sleep. Need advice how to put her down in the cot for naps? She will go in the cot for her nighttime sleep but is a regular wakes, i’m sure this is because of her poor napping in the day. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
statetrooperstacey · 27/09/2021 12:06

Perseverance, just keep trying, see if you have more or less success depending on whether you put her down before shes actually fully asleep or when she is fully settled. Can you ease her off you and settle her next to you on the bed/ sofa for supervised naps obvs. Have you tried walking her round the block then coming home when alseep and leaving her in her buggy.
D you use white noise, washing machine, radio, etc has she dropped off when you’ve been blow drying your hair . My fourth baby would fall asleep to westerns😁 keep trying, you will learn what works or she will learn to fall asleep without you, hopefully one of them will happen sooner rather than later! Your worn pyjama top or T-shirt can be useful to tuck her in with as a comfort .

Jesstass · 27/09/2021 12:15

@statetrooperstacey thank you for taking the time to reply. I can sometimes move her next to me when she’s in a really deep sleep, the most she’s managed then is 30 mins but that’s on the odd occasion she doesn’t wake up as soon as I move. She will sleep in the car on long journeys but that’s not what I want to be doing daily. I’ll try my top maybe in her cot. She has white noise on during her nighttime sleep but I don’t know if it helps?! I would happily watch westerns 24/7 if she fell asleep to them 🤣

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Peppermint81 · 27/09/2021 12:22

Does it matter if she naps on you?
If it doesn't cause you a problem why not let her nap on you? Babies sleep is so important. When she's ready you will be able to put her down. Mine didn't want to until about 11 months and now I really really miss the sleepy cuddles.

I say embrace it and appreciate it, try putting him down every now and again but don't stress out if she doesn't take to it yet. She will eventually especially as she gets bigger you won't be as comfortable!

Jesstass · 27/09/2021 12:30

@Peppermint81 I guess there is no harm in her sleeping on me, I just worry when I go back to work. It’s nice to hear that you LO didn’t till later, I do love the cuddles to be fair. Thank you.

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Ihatewinding · 27/09/2021 13:06

Does she seem uncomfortable sleeping on her back? My baby was a contact napper until 6 months as needed to sleep upright due to wind and reflux secondary to cow's milk protein intolerance so once we finally sorted her milk and this resolved she was actually able to physically sleep lying down without being propped upright in my arms but still needed to be taught how. So if no physical reasons then just needs some teaching.

Started form of gradual retreat every couple of days so started holding her half in arms, half on bed and shhhhhing to sleep after rocking a bit to drowsy. Then rocking and shhhhhing laid next to in bed with some contact with my body then completely away from me but let her play with a comforter or your hands until knocked out whilst shhhhhing and stroking head/chest if wish. Once at the point of able to sleep in bed alongside you without rocking or contact (except playing with hands/comforter or replacing dummy if have) then move to nursery with blackout blinds and curtains. Into cot awake but drowsy, allow to play with hands/comforter until asleep with me sitting in chair. Wasn't sitting yet so cot still on upper level so not too much strain on back as could take 30 mins. Replace dummy if falls out and using. Once doing this consistently then reduce intervention so just cuddle then laid down with comforter and allow to roll around until asleep whilst sitting in chair shhhhhing. Once doing this consistently then withdraw from room before asleep and see. Accept may whinge a little. Watch on monitor, if crying/properly upset then back in chair and retry after a few days/week.

Do this for all naps and sleep as will work much faster. My husband didn't like sitting for the 30mins for bedtime so kept holding her and putting down asleep. Wasn't until he started following method that her self soothing sped up drastically.

Now we are at the point that routine is wait until ready for bed, nappy change etc then curtains/blinds drawn, sing a song (twinkle twinkle little star for us) whilst cuddling in sleeping bag and swaying for a minute or so until doing slow blinks then down in cot, 5-10 head strokes/back strokes whilst shhhhhing depending on position then out of door. Then will fall asleep after some rolling around, sometimes bit of whingeing as drops off.

For us no crying, though we used a dummy which helped for sure. Game changer definitely when started being able to replace own dummy! Also using a comforter to promote self-soothing without you. Now sleeps through consistently since about 8.5 months after period of one wake up until dropped to 2 naps. Bit drawn out but worth it for independent sleep with no controlled crying/cry it out. I buggered my shoulder propping her up for the contact naps so was very happy to see them go ngl! You may be able to skip some steps as we did it very slowly tbh.

mairiflowers · 27/09/2021 13:16

I'd say just enjoy it! Smile

Jesstass · 27/09/2021 13:51

@Ihatewinding thank you for the advice this was really helpful. It isn’t anything medical just her liking napping on me

OP posts:
SylvanasWindrunner · 27/09/2021 13:58

DD went through a phase of this. I just went with it and spent the time reading, listening to podcasts, watching stuff on my phone. It was actually quite nice, looking back.

She went to nursery and they had no problems getting her to sleep there in a different environment. I think that's quite common - a friend of hers at nursery was also a contact napper and adjusted easily to sleeping at nursery. So if you don't mind it and she's getting a good nap, I'd just enjoy it and make the most of the time!

Ihatewinding · 27/09/2021 14:29

Also as a heads up as you might think it's not working but my baby wouldn't initially link cycles when in cot as only used to doing so whilst in my arms (and comforted by my warm breathing body I assume) so at the start all naps were one cycle so 30-45 mins so would seem like a lot of effort if sitting for 30 mins for a 30 min nap but she got more efficient at self-soothing and dropping off (also dependent on timing when to put down well!) If they seem really resistant then wake windows may be off or having too many naps. Your baby is a bit older than mine than when I started though so may be able to link cycles easier as it is in part developmental. FTM also and I have spent waaaaaay too much time googling baby sleep with a baby on me Blush couldn't imagine being able to put baby down awake and walk out 4 months ago when was trapped on a bed with a contact napper and spiralling PND (she was high needs during non-nap times due to the milk intolerance/reflux also so really needed a proper break). The nap times can be spent prepping food or even better, relaxing! The way I see it, if have another then will be running after a toddler when next baby is napping so only chance haha Smile

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