Early waking toddler/exhausted big sister

[Bobholll]

I’m well used to early rising children. DD1 was a terrible sleeper, didn't sleep through until 3, up at 5am. So I’m second isn’t a surprise. She does sleep through, so that’s an improvement but also up early. For a few months, it switched to 6/6.30am, which was fine. But the last 6 weeks, it’s back to 5am on the dot.

My problem is she waking up her 4 year old big sister who has just started school. Big sister looks exhausted & is crying every morning that DD2 has woken her up. She says it’s making her feel sick & headachy. 😢 & the teacher said to me yesterday that DD1 had sat in the reading area & nearly feel asleep. She asked if she was getting enough sleep & that she might need an earlier bedtime. I was so embarrassed as we’ve always had a consistent bedtime routine of 7pm lights off & done our best as parents.

I feel really sorry for her. I sent DD2 to sleep at my parents a couple times last week & one day, I set up the travel cot in our office & had DD2 sleep down there (which I hated, she was two floors below us ☹️). DD1 slept 7pm-7.30am, so she clearly needs the sleep.

What can I do to help her?! How can I drown out her screaming baby sister? She’s so loud & wakes up yelling for us without fail. If we don’t go to her ASAP, she starts crying 😩

Would a white noise machine help? We have one off Amazon (I think it’s called dream egg) and it’s absolutely excellent for dampening noises.

Ps feeling your pain with the early risers and bad sleepers!

How old is your younger daughter?

Have you a gro clock? That worked wonders when my son was 2.5. Shifted waking from 4:30 to 6:30

Do they share a room? It does sound as though rejigging rooms for the time being, using your office or having your youngest in your room is the answer. IME they can be firmly told not to wake anyone until 6am from age 3 so it's not forever (phrased in an age appropriate way obviously, not expected to be able to tell the time, but coloured tape on the bedroom wall clock or a gro-clock if you have a child who doesn't just adjust it to show the sun up at whatever time they fancy getting up...)

She’s 18 months, deffo not at gro clock understanding just yet unfortunately. We have one that never worked for big sis 🙈 but we did have success with a digital clock once she turned 3 & could recognise her numbers.

We’ve tried switching to later bedtimes over summer. Everyone said they’d sleep later. So we did 8/8.30pm. My 4 year old did sleep later. She’d be up about 7.30am. But DD2 started waking up at 5am & would be delirious in the daytime. So back to 7/7.30pm sleep which is better daytime wise but hasn’t resolved for 5am wake ups 🤦🏼‍♀️

Can you put her in with you for now in the travel cot? That way she wakes you up for not your daughter? I know it is a pain but if your daughter is nearly falling asleep at school then it is affecting her.

I have every sympathy by the way. We have two early risers too and they often wake each other up so we have started to switch sleeping arrangements.

No room sharing but we are in a new build townhouse, so the rooms are close together & the walls are not particularly sound proof 🙈 Maybe we’ll have to use the office for a while.. maybe I could get a mattress & sleep down there with her. I hate her being on the ground floor, front of the house & us two floors up..

Are they sharing a room? Or is dd2 just very loud! We had this problem here, ds age 4 now gets up at 5:30 and Dd age 6 gets up at 7. To be honest I just had to leg it in to ds before he woke everyone else up. And either stay with him if it wasn't even 5, or head downstairs. To save everyone else's sleep. He waits for his clock to light up now. But went through a really really long stage of humming rock riffs while he waited... I started a thread ds wakes me up every morning humming black sabbath...

The sleeping on a different floor sounds like it might be the only option atm but I don't think I'd sleep 2 floors up from an 18 month old. Maybe a temporary sleeping arrangement down there for both of you could be arranged?

What bit of DC2 is waking DC1 up? When we had a similar issue, I used to grab DC2 as soon as there was any noise, dash downstairs with him shutting all of the doors and then he'd have an hour of Peppa Pig whilst I dozed on the sofa. It was hideous but it worked and meant DC2 stayed asleep.
On the other hand, if what you do with DC2 is so dull as to be really uninteresting, DC1 might be happy to go back to bed and get another couple of hours sleep. If it's TV, she might stay up as she wants to watch.
Or, if you can't adjust the mornings, do bedtime earlier. For the first half term at least, DC1 was home, quick play, tea at 4pm, bath at 5pm asleep by 6pm. It was insane and completely unexpected as she'd done 8 - 6 at nursery (being picked up at 5.45pm) until a few weeks before.

I think I’d try having the baby in with you. Then when she wakes you can get to her and shush her before she disturbs DD1.