Morning!
I'm looking for some reassurance and practical advice please, on night time sleep. Sorry for the epic length of this post.
I have fraternal twins who are now 6 weeks old, born at 38 weeks. They are combi-fed, one will breastfeed and the other will have formula, and then at the next feed they will swap. Nights are still total chaos, and I wonder what I am doing wrong, or if this is normal and will pass- when?! I have a 3 year old, so I know, thank god, that things do get better, but with twins it's so different and we are struggling. My husband and I take the night in shifts so that we each get a block of sleep, so that helps. They don't have any routine at the moment due to their age- with my son I started implementing 'bedtime' at about 12 weeks and it gradually followed from there.
They are sleeping in the living room with my husband or me cat napping (barely) on the sofa, but we make the room dark and don't have the TV on.
Basically, one twin will wake to feed, and will then have most of a bottle/ both breasts, but before I can finish the feed, or burp twin 1, twin 2 will wake, so I'll pick them up and feed them both at the same time. Twin 1 will finish and stay on my lap/ boppy cushion, or get laid on the boppy (they are both quite sicky so need to stay upright for a bit), then I'll finish twin 2's feed and burp them. Suddenly I'll remember to burp twin 1 (this can take ages, so sometimes I give up), so 2 will get put down, and 1 will get burped and changed- but then due to being up and down might posset/be a bit sick so potentially will need an outfit change, then 1 might get put in the cot, but will then cry so back on the cushion they go while I do the same with twin 2. Twin 1 might then fall asleep on the boppy, twin 2 in my arms, then I have to work out how to get them back in the cot for about 20 mins before it's time for twin 1 to wake up for the next feed (every 2/3 hours at night) and it starts all over again- all night every night. They spend most of the night in my arms and on the sodding boppy which can't be good for their backs. Both twins are also a bit constipated, and one twin grunts and groans a lot and I this wakes them- I'm going to take him to the GP next week as I'm convinced it's reflux.
Sometimes they wake up just wanting to be held, but on autopilot I will try and feed them so they will have a 'snack' which then wastes bottles and confuses their feeding intervals. The other one will then wake wanting a cuddle too .
What am I doing wrong/how can I make it better? It just feels like total chaos, and it's stressful and we are exhausted. I try to not let them cry/wait for food largely because I don't want to wake my oldest child, but also cos that's just how I am! Is this just what it's like with twins?! At what point can/should I try to implement a routine? I love them all, but three kids was never the plan, especially not twins, and I am also finding that I am resentful and jealous of singleton parents- everyone has their own struggles though, regardless of number of babies!