Urgent advice messed tonight re dream feed

[Flopsie21]

Baby fell asleep at 8pm after bottle at 7.30. Baby wakes at 4.30am...when should I dream feed to extend sleep?

Baby isn't overtired, they've had 4 hrs 50min of maid today!(4.5mth old)

Is 3am too late, do you thinking they'll be awake for the day if they're woken up then?

@Flopsie21

Alrighty then. You keep thinking that 😅

@poemhunter007

Obviously all babies are different but the fact there's so much information out there about particular common times suggests it's not average to suffer one permanent long sleep regression.

I often think the internet has a lot to blame for making us think to much about baby sleep if you know what I mean
I'm sure my mum and nan just went with it more and found it less stressful.
All this wake Windows stuff etc. Mine would never follow it . They don't read it.

I definitly think it's good to ask these things and figure out what works for you. As it seems my current baby is quite "by the book" for sleep. And dream feed helps, he sleeps at roughly the same time for weeks at a time. he has a bit of a change up of routine every 4to6 weeks.
First baby not so much 😅 didn't really get sleep for 2 years. But speaking to others gave me coping mechanisms and some improvents here and there.
You're not overthinking anything here...sleep is a big thing 💤😴

We dream fed Dd around 10:30-11pm I thought they had to be reasonably awake for it, Dd certainly was. Then down till 4:30 (at 2 weeks) stretching to 6am at 2 months. Stopped it once on solids at 5.5 months. Have to say though Dd was and is a fantastic sleeper (13 hours at night was not unusual aged 9m-5yrs)

@jupitermars1345 yeah I often think about that. But I think we've done a lot more scientific research on sleep to since their time as parents to babies. And that most new parents want the best for their baby so follow the advice if lacking in confidence as they to what's best for their baby. I think by sticking to recommended amount of sleep and wake windows has helped my baby settle into good sleep. But I'm fully aware it may change. I'd like to limit the effect of future regressions so will probably continue to do my best to meet her sleep and wake window needs.

She is nearly 15 now and will sometimes put herself to bed at 7:30

Absolutely.
I find myself anxious about sleep often but sometimes I just can't make her sleep the amount the internet says. Difficult stage
My second is 14 weeks and it's hit me just how hard this bit is again.

It gets better :)
My first is 5 and she never came to any harm by not napping much despite me worrying about it at the time

Definitely do the dream feed, this is the perfect situation to introduce it. I'd say latest you can stay up maybe like 11pm then off to bed yourself. First couple of times they won't wake and maybe won't take much but after a few nights they will take an entire bottle in their sleep Resulting in you getting a long lie.

@jupitermars1345 My first is 5 and she never came to any harm by not napping much thanks, this is so much what I needed to hear. I've worried that lacking sleep is affecting her development.

@wasthataburp Definitely do the dream feed, this is the perfect situation to introduce it. my thoughts to thank you!

We had a similar bedtime routine and introduced a dream feed at 11pm-ish.
Worked wonders for us and she often woke up properly 6:30-7am ☺️

Of course regressions aren't all the time.

But by the time you add in teething (first and second molars each took 3m of sleep disruption for example), illness (5-10 colds a year plus other bugs), growth spurts, developmental spurts etc, at one stage we were averaging 3 days of calm between the storms.

So I tried a dream feed at 10.15 she was out of it, woke her enough to get 60/160ml in before she'd fallen asleep and that was with blowing in her hair, talking loudly, tickling cheeks etc.... She woke then at 5.15.but bedtime was 8.30

I'd try an earlier bedtime (I know that sounds crazy but it worked for us!). Sleep begets sleep...

@Moonbabysmum

Of course regressions aren't all the time.

But by the time you add in teething (first and second molars each took 3m of sleep disruption for example), illness (5-10 colds a year plus other bugs), growth spurts, developmental spurts etc, at one stage we were averaging 3 days of calm between the storms.

God yes. My baby just had a cold and a leap at the same time. The leap was due to end yesterday and she's finally not snuffly anymore - she slept from 5pm until 8 this morning only waking for feeds I forgot what it's like to have a baby that sleeps in the week and a half she was unwell!

Well she went to sleep at 7.45, had a dream feed of 100/160ml at 10. 30, woke for another feed at 3ish but slept till 6. 15!

@Flopsie21

Well she went to sleep at 7.45, had a dream feed of 100/160ml at 10. 30, woke for another feed at 3ish but slept till 6. 15!

Great!

@INeedNewShoes

I'd try an earlier bedtime (I know that sounds crazy but it worked for us!). Sleep begets sleep...

If I had a penny for every time I'd said Sleep Begets Sleep..

@Flopsie21

So I tried a dream feed at 10.15 she was out of it, woke her enough to get 60/160ml in before she'd fallen asleep and that was with blowing in her hair, talking loudly, tickling cheeks etc.... She woke then at 5.15.but bedtime was 8.30

We never woke DS. Just picked him up, put the bottle/boob in his mouth and he sucked in his sleep. Hence dream feed. Do you wake her fully then?

Do you wake her fully then?

She's such a deep sleeper that placing a bottle in her mouth results in maybe one suck or two that I have to half rouse her if not fully to get her to take a decent amount 😂

that was with blowing in her hair, talking loudly, tickling cheeks et

My youngest is 10 & I still felt cold dread reading those words 😀

I can't imagine any scenario where I'd be actively trying to wake a soundly sleeping baby. A bit of a suck / feed at my bedtime when they'll sleepily feed is one thing

I think you are over-thinking it all a bit. In the examples you've given, they were both very different, as will happen with a small baby

I'd agree with settling earlier, they will probably wake up at an earlier point in the night & then you may get a later start.

However, in about 6 weeks they'll be on solids. So it'll all change again then, in terms of milk feeds.

One of my DC had bottle at 6.30/7pm and another at 10/11pm and would sleep 12hours. That DC still loves to sleep and eat. Bed time is slightly later, but wake up time is still 7am years later.

One would sleep 8pm-4am whether I dream fed or not. So I dropped the dream feed, and started watching my TV at 4am on catch up instead of in the evening, and going to bed at 8ish. That DC now sleeps 9pm-5am years later.

You can change their sleep pattern a bit and a dream feed can help with that, but IME they all come with their own personality types and reactions to the world. It doesn't always work fighting their sleep patterns, so as much as possible just try to make the most of the sleep they do get. Sleep deprivation is the absolute worst, and 8 hours is perfect even if the start is a little early.

I'm not just doing it for my benefit but I'm thinking it'd help extend her night sleep which it seems like it's doing and fingers crossed will until the next chapter.