Dummy nightmare

[Tired1234567]

Dc2 has a dummy. Grandparents insisted it would make my life easier after DC1 never had one. Coincidentally it hasn't. The baby wakes up to 15 times a night for me to put it back in, having previously slept through the night since 6 weeks old!!! Refuses to go to sleep as constantly pulls it out of their mouth and screams until I replace it. Wakes every sleep cycle as it has fallen out and no matter what I do won't then go back to sleep. We are getting no sleep at all and I'm fed up. Please help!!

How old is dc? Mine managed to reinsert when I left several in his cot at around 7 months.
Hang in there..

Get some of the glow in the dark ones and leave him a few in his cot. My ds used to go to sleep with one in his mouth and one in each hand!

She's only 4 months so still too young to put it in herself. I just feel like it's never ending!

I think it's coupled with the sleep regression too! I also went through this at 4 months and it lasted 6 weeks. It was hard to be honest but she started popping her dummy in at 6 months and was then in her own room so I like litter the cot with about 4 dummies per night. She is 1 next week though and although is perfectly capable of reinserting her own dummy, on occasional nights she will cry unless it's done for her.

Dispense with it then?

We got rid at 6 months. Braced for an awful few nights but turned out she couldn’t care less the first bedtime, nor since. Sleep instantly changed from 45 min stints to 2-3 hrs then combined with some gradual retreat sleep training has improved further. If your baby pulls it out maybe they don’t want it? Ours was the same. It might have been harder to get rid if she’d been more attached to it

Sorry just seen you have already tried to get rid... all I can suggest is layering lots of extra sleep associations and trying again later? Or removing it gently once your baby is asleep and gradually removing it sooner and sooner until you no longer need it (google Pantley pull off)

I've tried getting rid of it, she won't sleep without it. We've tried rocking her, putting her in the car, taking her for a walk, co sleeping, slings but unless she has it she just screams and screams. I think shes pulling it out by accident as her hands are always on her face. As soon as she pulls it out she screams for it to be put back in. She is really attached to it. I will look up the pantley method thank you! At this rate I'm thinking of getting a sleep consultant on boardm

We just used a sleep consultant and I was dubious but it was well worth the money. Good luck whatever you do, and big hugs. It’s so hard x

My LO was like that. I preserved with it and by 5 months she was able to keep it in a bit better and stays asleep with it. Even by 6 months she still crys 2 to 3 times in the night for it. Even when the dummy is right next to her 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ and she's been able to insert her dummy by herself for at least a month.

I kept it going simply because its a good way for baby to learn to self settle.

@Tired1234567

She's only 4 months so still too young to put it in herself. I just feel like it's never ending!

A dummy doesn't stop a baby being a baby.

I don't mean to be abrupt in saying that, but while dummies are ACE and AMAZING (caps because they are that good), tgey are not some magical instrument that means you don't have any of the tough sleep-related issues to deal with.

You'll still have the 4 month regression. You'll still have to go through the process of learning to link sleep cycles. But over the long term (ie first 3 years) a dummy makes everything easier.

You seem very anti-dummy @Tired1234567 and maybe that's because you're looking for something (dummy) or someone (grandparents) to "blame" that life with a 4 month old is tough.

Its no one's fault. Blaming the dummy will just distract you from finding actual ways to improve sleep, because you'll be forever focusing on it. The dummy isn't causing your issues here x

@FATEdestiny I'm sorry but I've had a child before? I know all of those things are part of normal development. The difference is I could comfort DC1 back to sleep and through sleep cycles. He never had to rely on the dummy. I completely disagree, the dummy is useless for me. I could understand how it'd be amazing if it actually got her to sleep but it doesn't. All it's done is become another association that I will have to break. I'm not looking for anyone to blame, I'm the one who made the mistake of giving it to her. The dummy is causing the issues here!

Could you give her a cuddly toy? Both mine had one and it was a life saver. Never ever took them out of the cot so they were only for bed.

Agree with FATE, I don’t think the dummy is the issue, it’s the 4 month sleep regression.

When baby is asleep, the jaw is relaxed so the dummy falls out, that’s what is supposed to happen. She’s waking between sleep cycles because she hasn’t yet learned to link them.

Appreciate you could comfort your first baby through to the next sleep cycle but some find it harder than others.

Could try a comforter instead. My DD has a dummy and uses a bib (don’t ask!) as a comforter - if she can’t find her dummy, she uses the comforter instead.

The dummy is the problem because she is pulling it out of her mouth about 20 times before she is even asleep. If she didn't have it I could just rock her to sleep. It's too hot to swaddle her too. I understand the sleep regression causing her to wake up, I get that but it's the putting her back to sleep that's causing the dummy to be an issue, again because she pulls it out of her mouth. I've got a comforter but to be honest she isn't that fussed on it. Maybe I should preserve.

My personal preference would be to preserver with it. A dummy teaches self soothing and helps with the regression(well helped mine and still uses to self soothe) Can you try tapping the dummy when putting lo to sleep? So doesn't have chance to knock it out?

My LO takes dummy out when going sleep as she practises putting in and out of mouth all the time. So I did give to her in the day between naps so she could perfect the skill she still does it though but not as frequent.

It's your call at end of day about dummy.

Oh and I get a shout when she is going to sleep and I think she's lost her dummy peer round and she's got her dummy out in her hand. I give her a minute to get in herself to keep practising and she gets it in after 30 seconds - maybe your lo just needs a bit more help and suffering more from regression more then your previous one?

My mum (grrr) have had many heated arguments about this. As she says I should just pop my LO down and walk away, as that's what she did with me and I went straight to sleep. Well.... 🤔 I say Not all babies are the same. Some go through it a bit tougher then others. My friends lo has been a dream for her, envious. She pops him in a buggy and walks around and off he goes 🙄🙄🙄 I have to use white noise, dummy and cover pram for my LO to go sleep, 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️and stop 4 times to reassure and tap dummy etc. Muttering enviously to my friend while she's picking all this stuff out in a shop!!!

P. S. Not trying to dig just offering my experience.

she is pulling it out of her mouth about 20 times

What about holding both of her hands in one of yours as she goes to sleep @Tired1234567?

That kills two birds with one stone (in fact three). It stops her pulling the dummy out, allows her to comfort suck and learn to self-comfort and satisfies your wish to actively comfort her.

Scratch mitts??

I would (personally) just ditch the idea