What do sleep consultants do?

[Rose916]

What things to sleep consultants do to get babies to sleep? Does it always include the 'cry it out' method?

I think there is a sleep consultant on mumsnet that offers advice, and she never advocates cry it out.

Think it may depend on lo age though. I'm sure other people can advise better x

The answer to your second question is no.

As to what do they do, very simply put - they help you with things to improve the quality of baby's sleep.

This might include settling techniques, daytime routine advice, feeding advice, setting an environment conducive to sleep.

Also things like helping you define your parenting style and alongside that to set realistic expections according to your parenting style.

For example many parents want to attachment parent (cosleep, nap in your arms, breastfeed to sleep) but is expecting baby to be independently sleeping in the next month. Without any crying.
■ I can do attachment parenting to independent sleep with no crying - but not in 1 month.
■ I can do attachment parenting to independent sleep in 1 month. But not without crying
Sleep consultants don't have magic wands to make the impossible happen.

Would a sleep consultant help with a 5yo?

We just used one for a gradual retreat method, no crying it out (though not completely no tears, but we didn’t leave her and comforted her), she also advised on a daytime schedule and evening routine to help us. Best money I’ve spent. All advice I could have found online or read in a book no doubt, but committing to it and having someone there to encourage us made all the difference

Should be able to Billi77.

@FATEdestiny

Should be able to Billi77.

This would be a huge challenge….

@billi77 Im curious of what's happening now 😂 it's the way you written it. I'm waiting in suspense 😂

Right now? I got an app called Moshi. The sleep story just ended and she’s still wide awak and holding my elbow

@Billi77

Would a sleep consultant help with a 5yo?

@Billi77 a sleep consultant helped us with our 4 and a bit yo

This is what we did...

Bedtime passes
If you think the not sleeping is a psychological thing then you could try something called bedtime tokens / bedtime passes. Start with a family meeting, draw up some sleep rules, get your child to suggest and draw them to give them some ownership.

Agree a reward. We've used penny sweets and playmobil. We used playmobil, I bought a camping set and split it all up, put the names of all the bits in a pot and Dd got a new piece at random every morning she had tokens left.

Make loads of tokens together. I mean loads. If the child gets up at bedtime or calls you in the night then that's absolutely fine and allowed, but costs 1 token. Put them in a pot by their bed. If there are tokens left in the morning, the child gets a reward.

For the first few nights the child needs to succeed. So you need more tokens than they will use. My Dd used more than 30 the first night. When they're in the swing of it, start to gradually reduce the number of tokens. It took us a few weeks to get down to 6. Dd started to fail a few times and had to try. We got stuck at this level a while. Eventually we got down to 3 and at some point the system was gradually forgotten. 30+ night wakings down to 1 or 2 was a lot bloody better.

You can look this up, I believe it's called bedtime passes and there's a few articles out there.

she’s still wide awake

I don't see an issue with a 5yo being awake at 8.10pm. What time does she wake in the morning, if left?

Also @Billi77 our main issue was night wakings rather than bedtime, agreed wake at 1:30am like a clock and not go back to sleep, sometimes at all. We found she needed to go to bed later for quite a long time then gradually move bedtime earlier in incremental steps. There is a technique used on insomniac adults where you work out how long you can sleep in a block without waking (xhrs), work out what time you need to get up, and don't go to bed until xhrs before then. We did that too. Dd would sleep 6hrs then wake. We were on with morning at 6am. So if she'd have been an adult she would have stayed up till midnight for a week or more, aiming to sleep 12-6, then started creeping bedtime forward. We did 10pm bedtime.

We also went down the meditation visualisations route which she still uses. She's nearly 7 now. She is in bed now but not settled, school has thrown this week a bit. She still has a night light and music all night. But she sleeps through thank bloody hell. That year nearly destroyed my family.

@FATEdestiny

she’s still wide awake

I don't see an issue with a 5yo being awake at 8.10pm. What time does she wake in the morning, if left?

I agree with this too.

Sorry for late reply. If I get her to bed for 7 she goes straight to sleep. Any later and she can take up to an hour. She then sleeps 12-14 hours with 2-3 wake ups. Usually ends up in my bed at some point. And has night terrors

I can cope with the night wakings as she goes straight to sleep. If she’s touching my hand/elbow/ear/ any body part

12-14hrs is actually a really long night for a 5yo. My Dd is 6 and gets 10hrs. Maybe check what's normal. I would have thought 11hrs. Then try to condense her sleep so it's solid not broken, which might mean keeping her up or waking her earlier. I might wake her earlier in the morning tbh, is she getting up at 7-9?? How's she getting to school on time?! I would wake her at 7. Other than that, I've shared my best suggestions. Wishing you good luck!

Thanks! Yes waking up at 7.30 for school. I was also a v long sleeper so my guess is she takes after me. Good luck to you all too!